relationship with a sex offender

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HoLana
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Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:34 am

Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by HoLana » Wed Oct 18, 2017 9:50 pm

It is very complicated, but can find some local that have previous experience

illseycat
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:15 pm

Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by illseycat » Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:30 pm

have social services completed their risk assessment of you both?

illseycat
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:15 pm

Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by illseycat » Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:08 am

I wrote a really long reply and it didn't post.

Basically I am currently going through things with child services for my unborn child (due end of November)

I'm going to re-sum this up.

Yes it is quite a long process however from them initially coming to see you they should have decided on the outcome (child protection / Child in need) normally this is child protection due to the risk of sexual abuse. My partner was given a suspended sentence.

This means you will then have an initial child protection conference where you meet with professionals to basically make a list of things to do to help keep your children safe. This is then followed with core meetings every 6 weeks to make sure everyone is playing there part and if there is new things to add. This is reviews after 3 months then every 6 months after that.

At our meetings we have our social worker, my partners VISOR officer, my partners probation team and currently a safeguarding midwife. We had a meeting yesterday and was fairly straight forward as we are complying with everything we are meant to be doing,

As it stands once our baby is born my partner can live at home with me and our baby and I have shown enough protective factors to be able to supervise him. As you say your social worker is already undergoing this risk assessment on you.

I can't give any more information on the external risk assessments and how long these take but I would try and keep on at your social worker - just try not to lose your cool! for each area of child services you should be able to find online their timescale in which things should be done - then if they take longer than this you are able to complain. Maybe see if you can hunt that down - I take this to each meeting with me so we can keep it all in line.

I don't know if this is any help at all - best of luck

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:10 pm

Dear Freddie,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.
I am sorry for any delay in responding to your post. FRG’s advice service is very busy and although we do our best to respond quickly, as you may be able to appreciate, sometimes this is not always possible.

I can see how you might be feeling frustrated by the delay in responses from children services. It looks like they are satisfied that your children are protected by you because you are cooperating with them. Keep doing so. Until your partner is fully risk assessed, children services have to assume he might be risky to your children.
Yes, government procedures state that assessments should be completed in a timely fashion and within 45 working days.
If you haven’t received a copy of the assessment, I suggest you email the social worker and team manager requesting this, but also ask about the estimated timescales for everything. The social worker assessment report, should contain a plan of support. This will give you an idea about what is expected of you and what they can support you with.

The key thing that is preventing your partner being introduced to your children is waiting for him to be risk assessed. But this won’t start for another 6 months, you say. Once it starts, how long will the assessment take? 3 months? Your partner may then have to undergo further therapy or support to reduce any risk that might be identified. So why don’t you or your partner find out more about the assessment? How long? What are the possible outcomes?
Will children services do self- protection work with your children? This may take place after the assessment has been completed.
All this work may add up to some months or longer.

You could speak to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation Just stop it now helpline about risks of sexual abuse and support available to you or your partner.
You do not say who the victim was. If it was his partner at the time, Women’s Aid (or The Respect helpline-if you are dad) can advise whether your partner, poses a risk of domestic violence to you, and so to your children. Also look at FRG’s FAQ’s about children services and domestic violence on our website.

Here are tips about working with a social worker that you might finds helpful.

If you have any questions please post back orn call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Oct 30, 2017 2:41 pm

Dear Freddie,

I am glad that the independent assessment of your partner is starting shortly. Hopefully, it will give you an idea as to how risky he might be to you and your children.
Did you get information about your partner’s convictions from him only? He will be subject to the MAPPA (multi agency public protection) due to his convictions. What has been disclosed to you via this route about his risk?

I am worried that you say children services "suggest you do not introduce” your children to him. That they are not giving you any guidance. I agree that is not very helpful. Given his convictions, I think they would be concerned about your children’s safety, if you did introduced the children to him before anyone knows how risky he might be. Can you clarify the position with them or ask them to set out their concerns in writing?
Or chase children’s services for their assessment. You need to know what they are thinking about your partner.

In respect of your children’s father, children services should involve him in the assessment process. They need to assess his parenting ability and whether he can safeguard your children as well as meet their needs. If at any point they though your children might be imminent danger, they may want dad to look after your children.

Given dads response, if he is worried about your partner being near the children, is he considering legal proceedings?
If you have any questions, please post again.

Best wishes,

Suzie

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:51 am

Dear Freddie,

I am very worried about what you have said in your post. You appear to be at risk of harm from your exe partner. I think you need to act quickly and tell the social worker or manager that he has a full copy of the assessment, without the details of your partner’s convictions being removed.
The report’s conclusion clearly states that he should not know this information, as he might harm you, if he does.

Do you have a current safety plan in place? In these circumstances, how can you immediately protect yourself? Here is a list of domestic violence organisations who can help and FAQ’s about domestic violence and child protection.

Best wishes,

Suzie

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:42 am

Dear Freddie

Thanks for the update. It is good that you have made children’s services and probation aware of what has happened. I am attaching a link to our complaints advice sheet as you state that you will be making an official complaint. Your complaint should be properly investigated. I hope that children’s services will learn from any errors that have been made and work with you to help you and your children keep safe and also to make sure that other families are not put at risk when information is recorded or shared.

As children’s services will remain involved for the moment though it is a good idea for you to continue to work with them so that you fully involved in any assessments, plans or decisions that will affect your children.

I hope that the domestic violence advice has been helpful to you and that you are aware of the services that you and your children can access.

Best wishes

Suzie

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:32 pm

Dear Freddie

Thank you for your updating post.

I see that you are still very worried about your ex-partner’s attitude towards your new partner because of his past. Both your partner and you have been working with children’s services and other agencies to address concerns about the likely risk your partner might pose to you and your children. Despite a positive risk assessment which has identified your partner as low risk you believe that both the social worker and your children’s father are very much against you and your partner moving forward so the children can meet your partner.

It is really good to see that the chair was supportive at the meeting and this helped you to cope with your ex-partner. You may find our advice sheet relating to Child protection procedures useful now that there is a child protection plan.

Now you have had the assessment returned as low risk, I think it would be helpful for you to write to the social worker asking that any remaining concerns about your partner meeting the children should be set out in writing, together with what further work or support children’s services have or intend to offer. Also, whether a staged plan for the children to be introduced to your partner can be worked out. You could also ask that children’s services explain whether they accept the result of the risk assessment and, if not, why not and what is their plan in light of their views. Ask for a written response to your questions.

You cannot of course prevent your children’s father having concerns although you believe this is more to get at you rather than about them. He could, if he has genuine concerns, make an application to the court for an order to prevent him from meeting with the children. This is a matter for him to decide. If he were to make such an application you would be given the opportunity to attend court and give your views to the court. The court would ask for a report which would be prepared by children’s services as they are already involved.
You could, if you think there would be bias, ask the court to direct that Cafcass do any report instead of children’s services. The judge could then make a decision about it.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

Hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

Js1965
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Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 6:18 pm

Re: relationship with a sex offender

Post by Js1965 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:49 pm

Having read your post i would be very careful indeed to ensure you are putting your children first ahead of your needs. Social services like to use this one to remove children. Also I fail to see why you would want to bring a six offender into your house. Whatever changes he may have made, he could still be seen as high risk. Tread carefully and put your children first and this relationship on the back burner. I am someone with experience, my children are both now under an SGO due, in part to partners I chose over the years. I am not judging you but do step back and have a think about things!

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