Help and advice needed

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Willow18
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:49 pm

Help and advice needed

Post by Willow18 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:06 am

Hello I need some advice please. My partner is on the sex offenders register for 10 years. He has has a 5 year shpo my problem is children’s social care do not want him to see my child until that child is 18 which I understand but there now saying they want to ban him from visiting me at home when there is no children present. Can they really do this as it seems unfair because there is only me there. I feel there making me ill as I can’t eat and I always feel sick. They say it’s a safeguarding issue but I am safe guarding my child as my child hasn’t seen him for 2 years. Can social services really control people like this saying they can remove children from the home.

Nicenana
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:45 pm

Re: Help and advice needed

Post by Nicenana » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:39 pm

Hi

Sorry to hear of your troubles with social services. My son is on the register and will have to go through assessments by social services before he sees his nephew when he comes home. Our daughter was told that her brother is likely to be cleared to see her little boy after the assessments have been done but, interestingly enough, she was told that had it been a boyfriend of hers that was on the register the outcome more likely than not would have been her having to choose between her boyfriend and son. She was told that the rules are different if the person is the child’s biological father. From reading on here and from what the social worker said, I do believe that they can make a mother end a relationship if they deem the child to be at risk from the offender. I don’t have anytime for social services as they tend to cause people a lot of stress and anxiety but I don’t envy them. It must be hard to make the decisions they have to make on a daily basis.sorry I’ve not been much help but I’m sure Suzy will reply as she’s far more clued up on this than me x

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Help and advice needed

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:55 pm

Dear Willow18,


Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board.


You say your partner is currently on the sex offenders register and is also subject to a five year SHPO. You understand children’s services concerns about your partner having any contact with your child, but feel it is unfair that they are now stipulating that your partner must not visit your home, even when your son is not there. Children’s services have said that your partner visiting your home is a safeguarding issue but you feel that you have adequately safeguarded your son by not allowing him to see your partner for two years.


You have not said what the exact nature of your partner's offence is but from what I read, children’s services have significant concerns about him being around your son. Have you asked the social worker to risk-assess your partner? Children’s services cannot dictate who you spend time with on your own, but they do have a duty to safeguard your son. It may be helpful to speak to the social worker, or the team manager, as to why they have suggested you cannot see your partner when your son is not in your home. You can ask the social worker to work with you to develop a safety plan that addresses the current concerns. This may include who your son will be with when he is not with you and how you may manage a situation where your son and partner do come into contact unintentionally etc.


You also ask in your post whether children’s services can remove your child from your home. In most cases, children’s services will work with parents and families to keep children safe, before any action is taken to remove them, unless there is an emergency that requires immediate action. In any case, children’s services will have to apply to the court for an order to do this. Is your son on a child in need plan or a child protection plan? It sounds as though you have been working with children’s services, and I would encourage you to continue to do this. You can take a look at our advice sheet called child protection procedures.


You may find it helpful to contact the Lucy Faithful Foundation, Stop it Now helpline, you can find the link here.


If you would like to speak to one of our advisers, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9am to 3pm Monday to Friday.


I hope you found this helpful.


Best Wishes,

Suzie.

Willow18
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:49 pm

Re: Help and advice needed

Post by Willow18 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:57 am

Hello and thank you to both of you getting back to me. My child is on a child protection plan. This process has been unbearable so sorry for not responding sooner. The way social services speak to me is horrendous and I’ve never felt so low in my life. Sadly me and my partner have now ended out relationship as they were talking about legal advice with a p.l.o process and needing solicitors so all it all got to much so we are not together anymore. Sadly this won’t end yet but hopefully in time they will close the case and let me be free of all this. I will be complaining because I feel they always new they wouldn’t let my partner see my child and have made us go all through this for nothing. They did make me chose between my child and partner but that’s unreasonable as I only wanted him to visit my house when there was only me there. Thank you to everyone that reached out and helped me when I was in a dark place. It’s been lovely to get some good amazing honest advice.

Many thanks

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