Loong tearm forster care

[Bones38]

Hi

I would like some advice on what to do. I have just learned that my 6 year old daughter will be in longtearm foster care and I thought I would be able to handle it, as I knew that this is wht the social services are asking the courts. I would like to know if I could ever win her back or would I make things more difficult. I have no amily or friends to turn to or anything, I am devastated that my baby girl isnt coming home. I have never hurt my child and they are wanting me to admit that I had hurt my daughter even the judge has stated that I did in the finding of facts hearing. I dont belive in lieing and admitting to something tht I have NOT done just so I could get my daughter back. They have said that if I except the judges finding then they could work with me so it couldnt happen again. I am very lost right now as I have noone to turn to and have no idea what I could do next in order to have my daughter returned to me. Please help with advice

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

My name is Suzie. I am an advisor here at Family Rights Group. Thanks for posting on our board. I am really sorry to hear of the situation you describe, it sounds really, really difficult. You ask about whether you should admit to harming your child, as you have been told by social workers you need to do this if they are to work with you. First I would say of course you shouldn’t admit to anything you haven’t done. But you need to talk to your solicitor carefully about this. I don’t know what the injury was, or what kind of harm you are thought to have caused. Maybe there is something that you could take responsibility for? Perhaps you weren’t as careful as you could have been? Ask your solicitor if there is some way forward over this.
More generally, make sure you get yourself some help and support. Have you been referred to therapy? Losing a child in court proceedings is devastating, and anyone would need emotional support with that. You need to stay strong, to cope with your loss, and try to improve things. I hope you will still be having contact with your child. You need to make sure that goes well. If it does, perhaps it can be increased in the future?
Take care and do post again if you need to, or call and speak to one of our advisors.
All the best,
Suzie

[laceynewb]

hi hun

i have been threw exactualy the sme it isnt easy and they told me the same i never hurt my child but they told me that if i said i did that they would help me but i couldnt admit something that i didnt do now my child has got a SGO order with soe one else which has meant that i have lost alot of my rights but i still see my child by the rules of the court i wish i could say it get easier but i honestly dont think it does you just get used to the idea as long as you stick to every thing the court or social worker has said when your child gets older you can explain that you have never given up on her and you never will im sorry its not the best news but all you can do is hope

[Basil]

My child is in foster care, they say it may be long term with the view of him returning home, I cannot see that happening, I live in hope, now my child does not even want to talk or see me. it really hurts but can do nothing, sw not told him the truth why he iis in care, I told him when he asked he said they wouldn't do that they are proffectionals and trying to help. It's because I don't want him. Which is not true I love my child and care. It's very hard my child will be 16 next month he's never coming home I have to except it, unless someone can tell me different

[dandan1993]

hi basil

yes have you got any close friends or family? they can always put them selfs forward for the child because a family member or close friend is more stable for the child rather than being placed with strangers.

[dandan1993]

hi i was just wondering weather anyone can help im 18 and i have 4 siblings that have been placed in temperary foster care, 1 of my siblings is still not settled after 4months and does all he can to avoid going back to the foster placement this is breaking my heart and they are lien so much about my mum and even my upbringing and childhood because there so many children and so young this is very hard i know but if my mother was to not get these back after court next week then what are my chances of fighting for them i have 1 sister and 3 brothers i have an older brother aged 21 that will willing help me raise my siblings, do we have a high chance in fighting for them?

it churns my stomache everyweek i have my contact. contact is going really well for myself and my mother, but not the childrens situation they get upset and think we are taking them by purpose can i temperary take care of 2 of my siblings as this court case is going on he is so unstable and seems to be the only one that isnt settled he just wants to be with me and asked the foster parent everyday for me this is so upsetting i really need advice on what to do i know the social are plotting for these children to be adoppted surley they cant do this if myself and older brother are willing to take care and responsibility for them

please someone help me its been 4 n half months and still got nowere with these people it seems what they say and do goes but what ever we say n do doesnt even matter. its so not fair n these people have really split a good family up and distraught my sibling by the removal of his home and close family. i was told at the time i couldnt take them because i live in a two bed flat with my dad and there are four children we was also assured the children would come home after foster placement. now they are gone and taken into foster care, they are now saying we cant be sure of this. someone please help me i feel to give up but il fight all my life if it means bringing my brothers and sister home!? please i have court the 21st i need something to keep me going to keep me fighting i cant give up or these kids will have noone i just want them home i miss and love them so much! from one night my mum lost the plot to distroying my hole entire family the only family i have

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear dandan1993,

I can see that you are very concerned about your siblings and want to know whether you can be assessed again to care for them. I note that things are very urgent-there is a court hearing on the 21st November. You have raised lots of issues and I also have lots of questions which I would need to ask in order to answer your questions fully. For example, is the hearing a final hearing, do you know what the care plan is for the children, have you advised the social worker of the new plan for caring for your siblings-with your brother assisting you? Has this been assessed by children services? What is the guardians view to you putting yourself forward with your brother to be assessed?

Here is our advice sheet about friends and family becoming a foster carer
friend and family fostercare
However, given the urgency-you mentioned possible adoption- I think it would be helpful if you were to call our advice line on 0808 801 0366 for intensive advice and support. It is free and confidential and open between 9:30 and 3:30pm Monday to Friday. There is also NYAS (national youth advocacy service)
: NYAS

I also think that you should post this post on the family and friends carer discussion board instead of the parent’s discussion board. There are a lot of users who can support you and our friends and family policy advisor also monitors this forum. Here is a link to the thread for sibling carers
sibling carers thread

Best wishes,
Suzie