BPD diagnosis and care proceedings

Post Reply
KNJ25
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:02 pm

BPD diagnosis and care proceedings

Post by KNJ25 » Fri Feb 19, 2016 9:17 pm

I've been with my partner for 4 years and live with my 5 year old son from a previous relationship. My son has no history of issues or protection concerns. My partner has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship who he has been estranged from for most of her life. We were contacted recently as her mother has died and living in inappropriate accommodation with relatives. We immediately offered to take her in but we're told as we didn't know her she couldn't come to us. He was pushed into signing a section 20, against his will but the threat of a care order being placed convinced him we immediately regretted the decision as his parental rights were not respected and SS restricted access to supervised in a contact centre. Since then they placed a care order via courts anyway and now he feels totally helpless. We are being assessed for a residency order and we've been compliant and rock solid, making all meetings and court proceedings and adhering to the care plan religiously.However my partner has a history of mental health problems due to his own 11 year care order and last year sought a private diagnosis which confirmed our suspicions of BPD. He is in his 40's now and over the very worst of the symptoms such a drug abuse, self harm and suicidal tendencies. But he does still suffer from some anxiety, low stress tolerance and low mood that he regulates through meditation, exercise and a daily journal. We tried to get DBT on the NHS but received nothing. We moved on with our lives and bought done DBT workbooks and thought nothing of it. However it's all come up in court and a 2nd opinion was sought. He has met with a psychiatrist today who immediately agreed with the BPD diagnosis which has now left us terrified. 1. What are our chances of getting his daughter out of care and 2. Will we ever get unsupervised access if she stays in Care? 3. What if due to this diagnosis my Son is put at risk and under SS supervision? We are really scared as from what I've read on mums net BPD seems to be an immediate child protection issue.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: BPD diagnosis and care proceedings

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Feb 22, 2016 6:19 pm

DearKNJ25

Welcome the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you and your partner are having a difficult time in having his daughter to live with you since her mother’s death.

Children Services should normally consider placing a child with a parent or family and friends carers before placing in foster care. It is not clear if she was placed with family members after your partner signed the s.20 agreement. At the time he was asked to sign a s20 agreement he should have been given clear advice about its effect and should not give consent under duress or threat of care proceedings. Your partner may want to consider making a complaint about this aspect when the case has concluded.

You say that your partner’s daughter is subject to a care order. This is an interim care order made in ongoing care proceedings. Your partner as a parent is entitled to be assessed as a possible long term carer for his daughter. Are he having a parenting assessment carried out?

To get a child out of care would mean applying to discharge the finalcare order. This cannot usually be done within 6 months of a final care order being made. In order to do this a parent or other person with parental responsibility prior to the order being made would have to show that the concerns that existed at the time the order was made no longer exist. Also, if there was something specific that needed to be addressed that it has been and there are significantly different circumstances.

As the case is ongoing care proceedings then you and your partner should continue as you are now and cooperate and engage with Children Services and the assessment being carried out.

To respond to your specific questions:

1. Getting his daughter out of care will depend on the outcome of the assessment being carried out and the recommendations.

2. It is possible to work towards unsupervised contact, but this will depend on the reasons why contact is supervised at present. If your partner had little contact prior to the mother’s death, contact in the centre is to slowly build the relationship between your daughter and her father. Once she is settled and comfortable with contact it may well lead to unsupervised contact.

3. Has Children Services told you that they are concerned about your son or that there is any risk to him from your partner? If there are concerns, Children Services will carry out a risk assessment and/or child protection enquiries in respect of your son.

Borderline personality disorder in itself is not a reason to say there is a risk. It depends on the nature of the disorder and how it is managed. If your partner needs to engage with any services to address and get help then he should make sure that he does so.

Your partner has had a psychiatrist diagnose his condition and it is therefore likely that an opinion will be on whether your partner poses any risk or what support he might need. If your partner need to have medication then he should engage with mental health services and ensure that he is
medication compliant.

As your partner is already in care proceedings the child protection process is not going to be done at this stage. A copy of our advice sheet about this is here for you to read.

I have included here a copy of our advice sheet relating to care proceedings for your information.

A copy of our advice sheet about complaints and challenging decisions is also here should your partner decide to make a complaint.

I suggest that your partner work with his solicitor and ensure that he fully understands what is expected of him. His solicitor is best placed to advise him about the case as he or she has all the details of the case.

Should you or your partner wish to speak to an adviser, please do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

Hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

KNJ25
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:02 pm

Re: BPD diagnosis and care proceedings

Post by KNJ25 » Mon Feb 22, 2016 8:25 pm

Thanks Suzie

In answer, yes assessments are being completed against both my partner and I, and my record is spotless so should act as a positive counter balance. There have been no concerns raised about my son and his care but SS have asked to contact the school for a report to review as input to our patenting. We agreed to this as long as it was made clear to the school this was not a child protection issue for my son. I am now dubious about letting this go ahead, I can ask for a report from the school without their intervention surely?

We were offering to take his daughter in immediately,she had been passed to two different sets of relatives when we were contacted. S'S felt the accommodation unsuitable yet shared no details of this accommodation. Since November, my partner have never known the exact where about of his daughter - how can he fulfil his 50% parental rights without an address? ? She is in her second foster home in 2 months due to a breakdown of the care due to the severity of both children's needs. We still don't where she is.

Yes it is a an Interim care order that SS applied for despite him signing the section 20 to remove her from an uncles into care. We expected SS to transition his daughter to us. The reason for the care orders have been primarily driven by SS desire to keep her with her younger brother (not my partners child) this they have said I his her best interests, but we disagree it appears to only be benefiting her younger brother. She has potential attachment issues due to problem prior to mom's death (that SS knew about and did nothing despite many previous interventions).I believe my partner was too open early on and told them he had grown up in care, and their alarm bells flared as they know how brutal this system is on some children and are an immediate concern to them.

Our next court hearing is in April, where all the assessment reports will be reviewed and possibly a decision on her long term placement.

My partner is stable a day has not had a full mental health crisis in 10 years, but does still have some counselling needs. We are being treated a if the threshold for care has been breached by us and we are guilty of posing a threat when there is no evidence to back this suspicion up. The threshold for care was met by my partners ex and her family, we've never had a chance to prove ourselves , just straight to court.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: BPD diagnosis and care proceedings

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:07 am

DearKNJ25

It is evident that in view of the complex family history there are a number of factors to consider in the current court process. The completed assessments will indicate if any significant changes to the care plan are required. As stated in my previous post, your partner’s solicitor is best placed to advise him at this stage. In the interim, it is advisable for you to both fully cooperate with the professional network.

Best Wishes

Suzie

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there are 8 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 8 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 318 on Fri May 28, 2021 9:04 pm