Children in Care Moving

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Their mum
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:58 pm

Children in Care Moving

Post by Their mum » Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:25 pm

My children have been in care for about five years now. I feel that I was misled from the beginning concerning their being taken into care. However, that is all in the past now and I have to deal with what has happened. I was fairly happy to mug along with their care plan, seeing them every couple of weeks, being involved with their education and knowing that they were being looked after properly. However, their foster parents now intend to move away from our area. This is in order to be closer to their own daughter and grandchildren. While I appreciate that they want to live near their daughter, I feel that they are putting her (an adult with husband and in-laws) above my children whom they are fostering. Our contact has been cut down from weekly to fortnightly to three-weekly over the last six months and I fear it will be made less when they move away. At our IRO review at the end of last year, the IRO said that the children have too much contact with me and my parents and it was not good for them. This really upset me and my parents, who have done our best to make contact times enjoyable for all concerned.

The eldest will be 17 in March. He has autism, which the LA are using as an excuse that he can't make good decisions for himself. He currently attends a college for young people with disabilities, where he is very happy - something which he did not have during his secondary education. The younger one will be 14 in March and about to start his GCSE options. I think it's a really bad time for them to move as far as their education goes, but what do I know? Is there anything I can do about this situation? I realise that I may appear selfish by not agreeing to the move, but at this stage I'm not really concered about my own or my parents' wishes; I want what's best for my children. Is there anything I can do about this situation?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Children in Care Moving

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jan 28, 2016 2:21 pm

Dear their Mum

I am sorry you find yourself faced with such a difficult dilemma at this time. You have the issue of whether to support the plans for your children’s long term foster carers move to another area or not.

You say that the Independent Reviewing Officer expressed some concerns that the current level of contact was not in your children’s best interests, so it was recommended for a reduction in contact to be considered.

If you have worries that your children’s needs are not being properly considered you could approach NYAS to see if they could provide advocacy support for the children and represent them at meetings and in any discussions that are held about their future.

At this stage, it appears that on the one hand being close to extended family members may be beneficial in that the foster carers will have extended family support close to hand. In this way your children’s physical and emotional support needs could continue to be met.

Alternatively, as well as the children being geographically more distant, careful consideration will need to be given to ensure that practical face to face contact can continue to be realistic. It may also feel that you are experiencing a double rejection, by the carers. Not only because they are caring for your children, but because your own wishes and feelings appear to be being overlooked in the process.

Perhaps you could write to the Independent Reviewing Officer to ask your views to be more fully taken into account. In advance of the next Looked After Review meeting, you could request a meeting to discuss these issues, and for them to be incorporated into the care plan.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

Their mum
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:58 pm

Re: Children in Care Moving

Post by Their mum » Thu Jan 28, 2016 5:17 pm

Thank you for your reply. Regarding NYAS, my father had already found them on the internet and made enquiries about getting an advocate for the children. They said that the children need to ask for an advocate themselves. We informed the foster carers about the advocate as we did not want to go behind their backs. At the subsequent IRO meeting, I found that the children had been persuaded not to ask for an advocate, as "they have so many people working on their behalf". I don't know what my children actually think, as they seem to say one thing to their grandparents and something else to the sw. I, of course, am not allowed to speak to them without the carer being present. Any further advice/thoughts would be appreciated.

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