B' day advice please

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santa fe
Posts: 58
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:31 pm

B' day advice please

Post by santa fe » Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:13 pm

Ok I have thought about this for a while
I have a daughter in care thanks to the EX and up to early this year contact was through letters and everything was great.
Then out of the blue I got a letter from the LA stating as I was not the biological father and my daughter didn’t wish to have anything with me anymore as she had been told I was not her father

As you can imaging I went ballistic and wrote back making a formal complaint stating how contact was good and she was always pleased to receive my letters and her gifts and even my solicitor wrote to them which they have totally ignored.
The court order stated
“Not withstanding the declaration that has been made today by the Court, the local authority acknowledges that to date daughter has regarded Mr XXXX as her father and Mr XXXX will be kept advised of daughters progress.”
I cannot afford my solicitor and have drafted court application papers but worried about going to court and defending myself, my circumstances are changing in a month or so and may be able to get legal aid so may well wait.
BUT it is my daughter’s birthday very soon and Christmas is coming up also.
My boys (her brothers) and her mum see my little girl
What do I do about her birthday and Christmas as the LA will not pass anything to her? (I have already asked very nicely)
I have thought about giving the card and presents to one of the boys or mum but I don't think that would be a wise move
Last edited by santa fe on Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

santa fe
Posts: 58
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:31 pm

Re: B' day advice please

Post by santa fe » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:37 pm

Any ideas and advice please on what I should do?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2250
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: B' day advice please

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:35 pm

Dear Sante fe,

Welcome back to the Parents forum. It is so good to see parents coming back for advice.

I am glad that you took advice from your solicitors. They have written to the local authority.

You have put in a formal complaint. Has this been answered yet?

You are also thinking about issuing an application for contact.

What was your “legal” relationship to your daughter-before she went into care? Did you have legal parental responsibility for her-for example under a residence order or child arrangements order?

If you did have legal parental responsibility before the care order, you have a right to reasonable contact unless a court orders something different. Contact can only be suspended for 7 days.

However, if you did not have parental responsibility, then you will be considered a connected person.
The law says that Children’s Services must try to ‘promote’ contact between a child in care and their relatives, friends and others connected with them “unless it is not reasonably practicable or consistent with the child’s welfare”.

Was there any contact order originally or had contact happened because of what was said in the court order?
You seem to have had regular in-direct contact by way of cards and presents. So for this to suddenly stop would be a difficult thing to comprehend.
Do you know on what basis they have made the decision to stop you forwarding presents and card to your daughter?
Has your daughter requested this? Is she now old enough to make this decision?
If she has, how have the local authority handled her decision?

Have you sent a copy of the court order to children services to remind them that they would be advising you of your daughter’s progress?

You could contact the independent reviewing officer . Their role is to review a child’s care plan including how they can support contact with family members and connected persons.

Our advice sheet about contact with children who are under a care order sets out the law as well as research about the importance of contact.

I am glad that you are doing everything through official channels. You need to know why this decision has been made before you take it further.

I am glad that you did not send her presents through her brothers as this would be held against you. They may accuse you of not cooperating with children’s services and being underhand and not trustworthy.
Instead pursue the reasons for the change of plan with the independent reviewing officer, your solicitor and via the complaints department.

I hope this helps but please post back if you need further advice and to let us know how things are going.

Best wishes,


santa fe
Posts: 58
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:31 pm

Re: B' day advice please

Post by santa fe » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:14 pm

Thank you for replying
I was in the middle of writing a reply when my solicitor phoned
he has just had a ""Discussion"" with their legal people as they did not reply to any of his e mails
but the short of it is that they are going away and talking to the yet another NEW SW.
The LA are say my daughter didn't want anything to do with me anymore and it was decided after a "legal meeting which they had and didn't invite me to
no one understands on my side due to the last SW who I dealt with said everything was good and this was in January.
the short of it at the minute is if the LA play ball all we are asking for is cards and presents and the odd letter and some updates which is a lot less than what the court order states I should have.
if my daughter doesn't want to open the cards etc well that's fine they can go in a box for when she is old enough this has also been put to the LA
I don't have PR but was viewed as her father by the court and I am the only daddy my little girl knows
The LA hate me and this was brought up again today apparently because I stand up to them and don't take anything lying down I will give them a hard time and complain but only because I know I am in the right.
In the past 3 years I have only got on with two SW's and that was the last two (June 14 - Jan 15) the others I put formal complaints in against them and won.
I also involve the director of social services if they ignore me BUT only if I am in the right I wont do it for the sake of doing it.

When all this started and my barrister/ solicitor at court said to me "if the SW asks you to jump you ask how high" and turn round and said " I will tell them to go and cuckoo"

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