Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

hi guys right my oldest son isunder special guarden ship as most ov u no and cause i was ill and going thought court whit my younges i misses sum of my oldest contact and the special guarden stp my contact whit my oldsets and so did the cent i had him in then they let me hv conatct whit him then we set up an agrement cause the gaurden did notthink i would stik to it so we meade an agrement that i had letter bocx contact for 4 onths then we would go and hav a meeting i got a phone call 2 day form the ss worke and she said i hv to be supervied whit the sgo but me and her dont get onat all so naw cause i will not have her do my contac and the center will not take us bk they are stopping me form seeing him can sumone help me plz

Dear Kitty

I am sorry that you continue to have difficulty reaching agreement about the current contact arrangements regarding your oldest child.

Have you considered mediation so that you and the special guardian (s) can try to resolve your differences in the presence of a third party. You could do this either informally or instruct a dedicated service to take on this role.

Should the meeting go ahead, you could use it to agree a more appropriate friend or family member who could be entrusted to supervise contact sessions in the first instance. A family group conference could also be used for this purpose.

Initially, you may wish to set up a contact book with the special guardians to document and communicate your child's day to day routines, interests and any significant information that needs to be conveyed before, during and after the contact. This communication could be an important aide memoire where you could agree the inclusion of a few photographs to be taken about the sorts of activities you may have participated in together during contact. In this way you could build up a life story book which serves both as a fond memory for you to share together, have as a keepsake and may be important evidence you may be able to rely on at a later date.

Once you can demonstrate the new contact arrangements are going well, perhaps the special guardians will eventually agree to a more flexible contact arrangement in the not too distant future.

Failing this, in time you could consider returning the matter back to court and applying for a Child Arrangement Order.

I hope this helps.

Suzie

its come to a point naw hwere she will nto listen yer i no my son as medical needs but i did look after him and i do no what i ment to do and haw to look after is need but acording to ss i dont no haw to i am the one that use to do all them things when he lived whit me and when i use to take him play group but me and her dont get on at all and she says she is tjhe only one that can supervies us cause the center will jnot take us which i dont really want to be around her cause we argue all the time and we fight i just really dont no what to do eany moore cause dont thinki will be abel tp afored going to court for a contact order

Dear Kitty

As a parent or someone with parental responsibility, you will need to consent to a family group conference (FGC) referral but would also require agreement from the special guardian if it is to take place and be effective.

The meeting could be a useful opportunity for you to participate in making safe plans for your child (ren) with connected persons in your child's life. This would be in the presence of a skilled and independent coordinator whose main role is to assist the process of ensuring all participants feels they have had the chance to contribute on an equal basis, and feel listened to about any concerns they may have at this time.

A further advantage of an FGC is that it is a free service, an in theory could be arranged at relatively short notice either within or out of the court process. Furthermore, the children's guardian to your youngest child could also make a contribution if appropriate for them to do so.

Please also refer to a list of mediators you may wish to approach if the FGC does not take place.

Best Wishes

Suzie

haw do i go on about arranging a familimy group confrance

Dear Kitty

You would probably need to approach Children's Services to see if they would be willing refer you for an FGC.

Be clear with them about the reasons why you are approaching them, that you are doing it in the interests of your child and outline what attempts you have already made to resolve things with the special guardian.

Best Wishes

Suzie

hi i talked to the social worker 2 day and sj#she will ot do the fgc for me she say the gurden will not agree 2 it i reely dont no what i can do eany moore she will not go to mediation and i carnt afored to go bk to court