children in long term foster care

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear ilovebingo

I am sorry to hear that you did not receive the news that you had hoped for however can I suggest you continue to ensure that any contact you have is the best quality it can be so you can give yourself every chance of getting a successful outcome in the long term.

Hopefully you will receive a response from some of the users of the forum who have had a successful outcome in relation to their children here.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[ilovebingo69]

Went solicitor yesterday and was told that I might not have a chance to get kids back if they are happy and settled in their placement the only way if the kids asked to come home but my two year old is too young and the other two have been bought with nice princess bedrooms and trears galore and my eldest has behaviour issues so they say she wouldn't be able to come home while shes like that.

Im stuck I dont know what to do I want to go back to court in july as I feel I have done everything they have asked of me and I love and need my children.

[frustrated mum]

My children , alot older than urs are both in longterm foster care. The eldest 16, from conversation with her during contact has been promised her own flat, job etc when shes 17! So she wont come back to me. My youngest has everything she 'wants' dogs, cats own room with a tv!
I am trying to fix issues at home trying to get my own place not easy.
Keep pushing you are the parent. Do an online course. You say you want a job but your only experience is being a mum. Saying that is what got me my job as a healthcare assistant in a hospital. You have lots if experience!
I cant give you much advice as my children are alot older and they choose to go into care themselves. But good luck darling x

[Basil]

Frustrated mum my child was promised the same, it does not happen, yes they get them a flat or bedsit or shared living when they are 18. at 16 under s20 they can come home if they want to by simply walking out. I found they done more damage to my child and the lies they told my child, cs didn't tell me anything or even ask for my consent for things which by law they should have. contact stopped cs said not there problem my child didn't want to see me, and told my child no contact cause your mother doesn't want you. I had this for over a year. my child said they wouldn't lie, until my child realised what was happening and is now home and safe, cs are still trying to get him back. I really don't know how they sleep at night. stay strong don't give up and never sign anything

[santa fe]

Any meetings with CS
YOU MUST RECORD them with or without consent as they will lie and make things up. FACT!!
Get everything in writing also DONOT have phone conversations with them use e mail all the time

[ilovebingo69]

I kept a diary of every contact mistake, everything but the court didnt even acknowledge it and have asked for copies of last meeting notes, I dont let anything go if they make a mistake which is very regular I complained to their complaints department and received a letter saying they were dealing with it then received another letter saying still investigating and should have a reply by 25th so just waiting.

Got a new social worker and he said things would be different but nothings changed, I was the one that instigated first contact like always, still waiting for him to do checks for my supervisor but its been three weeks and nothing, I gave a laptop to ss over a month ago for my daughter and she still hasnt received it ive even contacted foster carer and she hasnt received it, the ss just says hes always busy, its getting on my nerves as my family is not important to him at all. So im gonna give it next contact and if any mistakes gonna put in another complaint. I will fight for anything to do with my children.

[santa fe]

Find out who is the director of social services where you live and e mail him and also send a letter recorded delivery.
You have every right to talk to the director of SS as you contribute towards their wage as they are a Public servant
Find out who is in change of complaints and email them direct don't mess about with going through the paper work crap go direct
finally accuse them of theft of the laptop and anything else you gave the Muppets to give to your daughter
Always get receipts for EVERYTHING including letters you give them
Good luck

[angela1986]

I got 3 older children in long trem foster care and i think its in the best intrest that my 3 older ones come back to me the same as my younger 3 they are with family members but its in the childrens best intrest that they come back to me

[love2022]

hello ilovebingo69, thanks for your post and i just finished reading it. your solicitor said parents don't have much chance to get kids back home if they were settled in the placement. i am wondering whether you have had all of your kids back to your care? how did you manage it?

many thanks for your time.