PERMANENCE PLANS

[princess27]

My 5 children do not love with me, they were removed quite quickly due to my son saying a word he shouldn't have said as it was a sign of sexual abuse all 4 got removed I had my youngest a few weeks ago and my baby was removed at two days old and put in foster care with her older sister.

Social services were referred to me as educational welfare carried out a visit to my son in 2009 as he had a bad chest and was poorly so did not attend school, then a few days later he wiped poo all over his room one night so I smacked him twice on his bottom, the next day the education welfare carried out another visit and I told them what had happened as I felt so awaful with guilt they informed ss and ss carried out a visit, no further action was taken out. A few months later a referral was made as a male was hear shouting at the children my ex partner no me, ss came out I explained that this was my partner at the time and it will not happen again no further action, in 2010 ss were referred as my then four year old has previously fell off his scooter and had a graze so my son was made to tell ss what happened then no further action, ss were contacted by myself as my autistic sons behaviour was becoming challenging and violent and my younger son found the word willy very funny but it was becoming in appropriate, I took a stepping stones course and completed this, I did tripple p courses and completed this, then at the end if 2011 I instigated a CAF by telling the head teacher I'm concerned about behaviour and its distressing and the childrens work was below average for there age, 1 month later my ex made a referal to ss saying I burnet my daughter with hair straighteners which I didn't my daughter ran in the kitchen in my mothers home and she was only 1 1/2 and was not realy steady on her feel and bumped into my mums cooker and he also said that whilst picking up my daughter he witnessed me pushing my older two boys and hitting them in the face, this did not happen and he only reported this "abuse" months after we broke up and said this to ss one week after I stopped his contact with our daughter as he was constantly putting me down about my dressing her in tights in September as it was too warm for tights and he became abusuve to my mother on the phone.

I had a new relationship and my partners details were taken at the time of this and his family's were taken too, four months later I had a knock on the door from a student social worker who needed to speak with me urgently as my partners father was on there system as a cat 1 risk to children I explained there needs to be no concern as his father is no relation to my children do he is not going to have contact I signed an agreement of expectations and even after that they were put on a child in need plan then four months later a child protection plan was made.

One year later my partner accidentally broke a window I phoned police and thought it was a burglar upon discovering it was just my partner I had already phoned 999 police came and my partner was taken to his mothers home even after me explaining the situation so now ss see him as domestically abusing me.

My neighbour also phoned the police as he and my partner do not get along so that's been recorded also.

My partner is very loving and was a dedicated family man who had taken my own children on as his own and never once hit or shouted at them.

My two daughters were made a child in need plan previous to child protection plan as concernes around them were minimised but the boys remained on child protection

Through the four months prior to the removal my son who's in infant school had been sayin I hit him push him I lock him in cupboards I call him names I call his brother names I say I wish he was not born all not true and never reported to myself, during the past 2 years my two sons from a previous relationship were seeing there father on a high consistent basis and never reported any concernes to me.

My ex, the boys father was not very helpful in returning the uniforms school shoes and coats so on occasions I had to send them in other shoes and there hooded coat instead of a coat, after explaining to him they need these items as the school had been asking for them I became frustrated and told him if this carrys on he can't have contact as I'm getting the school constantly phoning me registering there shoes, later that week he phoned ss and said he saw my partner hit me not true and he noticed bruses on them weeks ago and I've been abusive to him not true and my partner has been abusive also not true the accrual fact is him and my partner got on as friends and never had an issue raised before.

My ex let my sons watch inappropriate tv and play on violent games I told him and ss of this and he was told to not do this by myself and ss so he agreed to this but I believe he let them do what they please as they started coming home with no mannors and telling me there dad said he hates me and my partner he said he has to keep it a secret though and also my son said daddy dosnt like my partner but its a secret do not tell them.

My son said a word only someone would use to explain what a man does to "pleasure" himself (m) I am not even going to type its as its sickening!!!!

My two sons were taken away by ss and police as they said as my partner is "violent" he may hurt them???
My two daughters remained with us untill after the hearing then were taken by ss at this time I was worried sick as I was due to give birth in the next two months, my baby was taken by ss

I have a solicitor but realistically where do I stand now the final hearing is in two weeks and I do not want my baby's adopted, my partners sister was going through assessments but these have not continued even though they were half way through and the ss were supportive of her looking after the youngest but not my toddler as she has two young children herself my parents were seen but not supported as my mother was dismissing the blaim onto my ex and not me as she praised me as a good mum

My solicitor is ok but I need to know what options do I have if the ss want to adopt? Could my partner look after our two daughters? Could my mum and dad try again? Could I ask my partner to leave and I get my daughters bk but taking into account my son is a risk and may abuse my daughters? Could I have a supervision order? I'm very confused and upset and feel helpless in this, I've never sexually abused or failed to protect like they say

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Princess27

Welcome to the discussion boards and thank you for your post. I am so sorry to hear about the distressing situation that you are in.

It sounds as though Children’s Services have been involved in your family on and off over a long period of time. Their involvement has become more intensive over the past year or so and this has culminated in them issuing care proceedings on all of the children earlier this year, is that right?

It may be difficult for me to offer much advice at this stage because you are so late in the care proceedings. You have said that your final hearing is in a couple of weeks time. It is likely, therefore, that all of the different parties (including Children’s Services and the children’s guardian) have already decided what they feel is best for the children and Children's Services will have prepared a final care plan.

You mentioned that your solicitor is OK. Hopefully this means that your solicitor has explained what each party is proposing and what to expect from the final hearing. Have you and your solicitor also prepared and filed your final statement? This is your opportunity to tell the court what you believe is in the children’s best interests and what you are proposing i.e. for the children to be returned to your sole care under a care order or a supervision order.Are you clear about what is being proposed?

It would be very difficult to ask for further assessments of you or family members at this stage because the court must make a final decision within a reasonable timescale for the children, which should be at the final hearing. If you firmly belive this is the best plan for the children, however and/ or that there are family members who have not yet been properly considered, you should discuss this with your solicitor urgently to see if there is a possibility of asking for further assessmnets.

You might want to read our advice sheet about care proceedings to help you prepare for the final hearing. You are also very welcome to call our free and confidential advice line (0808 801 0366- open 9.30am- 3pm, Monday- Friday), to speak to an experienced adviser about your case in more detail.

I hope this is of some help Princess and wish you all the best over the next few weeks.

Take care

Suzie
FRG Adviser