My daughter is 4 years in Foster Care. But I feel like CS counts the time from date when she was put to Long Term Care-1,5 years ago. As according to CS, only then my daughter settled..
I sacked my Solicitor after 3 years she was collecting Legal Aid money for my case administration work: sending replies to court and agreeing with anything suggested by CS.
I am not UK nationality and my daughter is not, as well. We came to UK when she was 4 years old. My daughter lives in UK foster care against my wish. I am FORCED to live in UK against my wish, because of those contacts with my daughter. UK social services told:-we don't held you-go home. But what about my daughter? My sister, daughter's auntie by my countries social services was assisted as right possible care for my daughter. But UK SC just didn't want that foreign nationality child-my daughter-would return to her home country.
My daughter doesn't speak her native language anymore. SC just made English girl by abusing her rights to national identity.
I had consultation with new possible Solicitor. She told that first I have to get more contacts( now we have12), ask for unsupervised contacts, create good relationship with FC. It is nearly a year after this advise passed. And NOTHING CHANGED. I wrote letters to MP, to Councillor, to Manager. I learned only one thing-they all are very good at demagoguery: they can turn the facts in whatever side they need and give you the answer without any answer-just to make you feel not right once again...
In all final hearings was suggested therapeutic work for our with daughter relationship "restoration". Now we have wonderful relationship and don't need any therapeutic work. My daughter, I believe, told something like that to "therapist". "Therapist" interpreted this as my daughter is reluctant to any therapy and is not ready for relationship improvement. Such a nonsense!
Any advise? could I ask for relationship to be assessed by independent specialist? How can I move forward, if Social Worker doesn't stop telling: now we working on contacts improvement... Maybe she is going to "improve"them the rest of years-until my daughter will be 18?
No progres
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4234
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: No progres
Hello Elzyte
Welcome to the discussion forum and thanks for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.
I am sorry to read about the really difficult and complex situation that you are dealing with.
You have explained that your daughter is currently in long term foster care. I am assuming that the matter has been through care proceedings and that she is under a full care order- is that right?
If your daughter is under a full care order, Children’s Services have parental responsibility (PR) for her. Because this PR is shared with you, Children’s Services do have a responsibility to involve you in planning and decision making for your daughter but they can also overrule you.
In the above situation, there are only two options to increasing your involvement in your daughter’s life/ working towards her being placed back in your care.
Reaching an agreement with Children’s Services
As Children’s Services currently have the decision making power in relation to your daughter. The best way to improve your situation is if you are able to reach an agreement with them that your plans for her are in her best interests.
It sounds as though you have been trying to negotiate with Children’s Services and that you perhaps feel that this is not going to achieve the outcome that you want. A few things that I would suggest are;
• That you consistently emphasise to Children’s Services that your daughter is your priority and that you want what is in her best interests
• That you firmly believe it is in your daughter’s interests to have as much of a relationship with you as possible and that, ideally, she should be being raised within her family
• Ensure that you are attending your daughter’s looked after child review meetings, if possible and that you are using these to raise any concerns you have about your daughter’s care plan
• If you have any specific concerns or queries about your daughter’s care plan, raise these with your daughter’s independent reviewing officer (IRO), who chairs the looked after reviews. Put these in writing if possible
• If you continue to feel that you are not being heard or the responses you are getting are inadequate, you could consider making a formal complaint and escalating this through the complaints process
Legal options
If you feel that you there is nothing further to be gained from negotiating with the local authority, the only other option you have is to take the matter to court to change the legal status of your daughter.
One option would be to apply to revoke your daughter’s care order. This is not an easy process and you are unlikely to be successful unless you can show that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the care order was made. This is why your solicitor has been advising you to work on increasing your contacts etc with your daughter, so that you are able to evidence that your relationship is now strong and secure and it is right for her to return to your care.
As it has been a year since you took advice from your solicitor, perhaps it would be advisable to seek some further advice about how your case stands now and whether an application to discharge the care order is viable?
Alternatively, someone else could apply to court for an order which would end the care order. You have mentioned that your sister would be willing and able to care for your daughter. She might want to take some advice about applying for a residence order or special guardianship order, which would result in your daughter being in her care.
Clearly the above would not be straightforward as your sister is not resident in the UK but would have to apply to the UK courts. I wonder if children and families across borders may be able to offer her any useful advice/ support?
Finally, I am not clear from your post how old your daughter is now? If she is of an age where she is clear about her own views and feels that these are not being listened to, you might want to suggest that an advocate is arranged for her. An advocate would be able to support your daughter to speak up about her wishes and feelings for her future. It may be helpful to look at the services offered by Voice, for example.
I hope this is of some help Elzyte. Have a look at our advice sheet about reuinting children in care with their families as this might provide some additional advice and please do come back to us if you have any further questions.
Best Wishes
Suzie
FRG Adviser
Welcome to the discussion forum and thanks for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.
I am sorry to read about the really difficult and complex situation that you are dealing with.
You have explained that your daughter is currently in long term foster care. I am assuming that the matter has been through care proceedings and that she is under a full care order- is that right?
If your daughter is under a full care order, Children’s Services have parental responsibility (PR) for her. Because this PR is shared with you, Children’s Services do have a responsibility to involve you in planning and decision making for your daughter but they can also overrule you.
In the above situation, there are only two options to increasing your involvement in your daughter’s life/ working towards her being placed back in your care.
Reaching an agreement with Children’s Services
As Children’s Services currently have the decision making power in relation to your daughter. The best way to improve your situation is if you are able to reach an agreement with them that your plans for her are in her best interests.
It sounds as though you have been trying to negotiate with Children’s Services and that you perhaps feel that this is not going to achieve the outcome that you want. A few things that I would suggest are;
• That you consistently emphasise to Children’s Services that your daughter is your priority and that you want what is in her best interests
• That you firmly believe it is in your daughter’s interests to have as much of a relationship with you as possible and that, ideally, she should be being raised within her family
• Ensure that you are attending your daughter’s looked after child review meetings, if possible and that you are using these to raise any concerns you have about your daughter’s care plan
• If you have any specific concerns or queries about your daughter’s care plan, raise these with your daughter’s independent reviewing officer (IRO), who chairs the looked after reviews. Put these in writing if possible
• If you continue to feel that you are not being heard or the responses you are getting are inadequate, you could consider making a formal complaint and escalating this through the complaints process
Legal options
If you feel that you there is nothing further to be gained from negotiating with the local authority, the only other option you have is to take the matter to court to change the legal status of your daughter.
One option would be to apply to revoke your daughter’s care order. This is not an easy process and you are unlikely to be successful unless you can show that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the care order was made. This is why your solicitor has been advising you to work on increasing your contacts etc with your daughter, so that you are able to evidence that your relationship is now strong and secure and it is right for her to return to your care.
As it has been a year since you took advice from your solicitor, perhaps it would be advisable to seek some further advice about how your case stands now and whether an application to discharge the care order is viable?
Alternatively, someone else could apply to court for an order which would end the care order. You have mentioned that your sister would be willing and able to care for your daughter. She might want to take some advice about applying for a residence order or special guardianship order, which would result in your daughter being in her care.
Clearly the above would not be straightforward as your sister is not resident in the UK but would have to apply to the UK courts. I wonder if children and families across borders may be able to offer her any useful advice/ support?
Finally, I am not clear from your post how old your daughter is now? If she is of an age where she is clear about her own views and feels that these are not being listened to, you might want to suggest that an advocate is arranged for her. An advocate would be able to support your daughter to speak up about her wishes and feelings for her future. It may be helpful to look at the services offered by Voice, for example.
I hope this is of some help Elzyte. Have a look at our advice sheet about reuinting children in care with their families as this might provide some additional advice and please do come back to us if you have any further questions.
Best Wishes
Suzie
FRG Adviser
Re: No progres
Thank you for advise. My daughter is 11 y.o. I was cooperating with CS from the first day when my daughter went to care. Because I naively believed that if I will do everything what CS ask, my daughter will be returned home. First year Independent Social Worker made very good report about our relationship with daughter and suggested rehabilitation. After this report ex social worker started her false allegations "company"-stating that I am secretly drinking during care proceedings. She met with my daughter and told her that she will not return home, as "mother is drinking". All year my daughter couldn't wait to return home and then got such news-her Mom betrayed her. So my daughter openly started tell me in every contact: I hate you. This situation was very helpful for CS. Now it was no matter how I behaved, cooperated I or no-matter was that my daughter doesn't want return home anymore...
As I told earlier, my Solicitor did not do about that NOTHING. So Court made it's decision relying on my daughter's wishes and Psychiatrist's report. This Psychiatrist chosen by my Solicitor as a cat in the bag-he mainly worked for LA...
Even if in Oral hearing was agreed that the purpose of my daughter's Long term care should be return home, in written decision is nothing told about that. Only Appeal court Judge pointed out about that.
After my daughter moved to new foster carer ( for long term) our contacts with daughter again are nice. Because current Foster carer is nice, even that I did not meet with her yet.
Yesterday I brought photos from my holidays in home country. My daughter asked:Why you don't take me with you? Supervisor the same minute opened her eyes and ears wide! I didn't answer anything. And my daughter, I saw, was very afraid about Supervisor's reaction.
Even if any advocate will come to my daughter, she will tell ONLY WHAT SOCIAL WORKER WANTS TO HEAR. My daughter is very intelligent and she knows better how to "survive". She had so many painful experiences when contacts where cancelled and she( I believe so) thinks that was her fault. Now she just so much trying to do everything what SC expecting: just nice contacts.
My sister in all those horrible proceedings was as a possible carer. And she has excellent reputation. Again-in child interest was not to return to home country.(What a nonsense!) So I don't think that my sister has any chances.
Even court agreed that I have no any problems. So why the idea was to return daughter exactly to my care from LTC. Unfortunately, CS don't care about this "idea" and their care plan don't change..Because , as I told SW concentrating on improving contacts. Supervisor in every contact looks "after us" very carefully-from my experience it means that she minutes of every negative aspects.
IRO is working for CS and last time even told: "Oh good, when your daughter 18 y.o. will return home and....." So even IRO has no this idea about my daughter's return home early.
So here I am with my daughter. Yesterday in contact I very clear felt how much my daughter wants just go home with me and how painful is for her to pretend happy buy buy waiving.
But she is too afraid to tell loudly that she wants go home. She just afraid to lose those contacts which we have and to make things worse. I believe, she knows better how to behave.
But still I feel that something is going wrong here. I don't want write any complains, as me like my daughter, don't want to make things worse.Those complains only damage my relationship with SW,as everything is in SW hands. She seems quite nice but sometimes I am puzzled why she-having and loving her own children-just takes time for our "contacts improvement". We are stepping in the same place a year and a half!
As I told earlier, my Solicitor did not do about that NOTHING. So Court made it's decision relying on my daughter's wishes and Psychiatrist's report. This Psychiatrist chosen by my Solicitor as a cat in the bag-he mainly worked for LA...
Even if in Oral hearing was agreed that the purpose of my daughter's Long term care should be return home, in written decision is nothing told about that. Only Appeal court Judge pointed out about that.
After my daughter moved to new foster carer ( for long term) our contacts with daughter again are nice. Because current Foster carer is nice, even that I did not meet with her yet.
Yesterday I brought photos from my holidays in home country. My daughter asked:Why you don't take me with you? Supervisor the same minute opened her eyes and ears wide! I didn't answer anything. And my daughter, I saw, was very afraid about Supervisor's reaction.
Even if any advocate will come to my daughter, she will tell ONLY WHAT SOCIAL WORKER WANTS TO HEAR. My daughter is very intelligent and she knows better how to "survive". She had so many painful experiences when contacts where cancelled and she( I believe so) thinks that was her fault. Now she just so much trying to do everything what SC expecting: just nice contacts.
My sister in all those horrible proceedings was as a possible carer. And she has excellent reputation. Again-in child interest was not to return to home country.(What a nonsense!) So I don't think that my sister has any chances.
Even court agreed that I have no any problems. So why the idea was to return daughter exactly to my care from LTC. Unfortunately, CS don't care about this "idea" and their care plan don't change..Because , as I told SW concentrating on improving contacts. Supervisor in every contact looks "after us" very carefully-from my experience it means that she minutes of every negative aspects.
IRO is working for CS and last time even told: "Oh good, when your daughter 18 y.o. will return home and....." So even IRO has no this idea about my daughter's return home early.
So here I am with my daughter. Yesterday in contact I very clear felt how much my daughter wants just go home with me and how painful is for her to pretend happy buy buy waiving.
But she is too afraid to tell loudly that she wants go home. She just afraid to lose those contacts which we have and to make things worse. I believe, she knows better how to behave.
But still I feel that something is going wrong here. I don't want write any complains, as me like my daughter, don't want to make things worse.Those complains only damage my relationship with SW,as everything is in SW hands. She seems quite nice but sometimes I am puzzled why she-having and loving her own children-just takes time for our "contacts improvement". We are stepping in the same place a year and a half!
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4234
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: No progres
Hi Elzyte
I am sorry to hear that things are still difficult with your daughter.
Have you been able to write or speak to the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) so they know how you feel? It may help you feel a bit better once you have told them how you are feeling.
You may want to ask if an advocate could visit your daughter at the foster placement. This service is used for many young people in care.
If you then believe you are not being treated fairly you are in your rights to make a complaint. You should not feel bad about this, as you will have tried everything else to make things work.
As I said before, have you been able to speak to a solicitor about taking things back to court?
Please let us know how you get on.
Best Wishes
Suzie
I am sorry to hear that things are still difficult with your daughter.
Have you been able to write or speak to the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) so they know how you feel? It may help you feel a bit better once you have told them how you are feeling.
You may want to ask if an advocate could visit your daughter at the foster placement. This service is used for many young people in care.
If you then believe you are not being treated fairly you are in your rights to make a complaint. You should not feel bad about this, as you will have tried everything else to make things work.
As I said before, have you been able to speak to a solicitor about taking things back to court?
Please let us know how you get on.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Re: No progres
Dear Suzie, I have feeling that your opinion about IRO very idealistic. Do you really believe that IRO has any power to influence things? After all-Childrens Services hires IRO and I know their work 4 years. I even asked once straight-I don't understand what for Government pays salaries for those IRO? But I can answer: for insurance that children rights are not breached. Do CS ever breach children rights?-Never! Ex social worker openly was spreading her false accusations about my secret drinking-even to my daughter. Even in IRO meeting. In that meeting I was telling that I am sober. Who do you think IRO believed: me or social worker? Do you think that IRO made any notes that thia ex social worker can not blame parent without evidences? Do you think IRO ever asked why this ex social worker made plan to put child into care despite expert suggested rehabilitation?
So, please, don't tell me that IRO is independent and can influence anything.
You are dreaming about Voice advocacy. Who has suggest this for my daughter? Social worker or Foster carer. I already know their question: What for?,if the child is happy and very intelligent to express her opinion herself.
I am not going to write any complaints-they are worthless. I believed that complaints can change CS SYSTEM 3-4 years ago, when had no any experience and any clue what kind of SYSTEM it is. Social worker is the last screw in this SYSTEM. SW only implements instructions of heads of this SYSTEM.
Who are the heads?:)
So, please, don't tell me that IRO is independent and can influence anything.
You are dreaming about Voice advocacy. Who has suggest this for my daughter? Social worker or Foster carer. I already know their question: What for?,if the child is happy and very intelligent to express her opinion herself.
I am not going to write any complaints-they are worthless. I believed that complaints can change CS SYSTEM 3-4 years ago, when had no any experience and any clue what kind of SYSTEM it is. Social worker is the last screw in this SYSTEM. SW only implements instructions of heads of this SYSTEM.
Who are the heads?:)
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