Desperate for some support
Desperate for some support
Hello. My 2 children 3 and 5 were taken Friday under an interim care order. The proposed long term outcome is adoption. We return to court next Wednesday. I am so scared. Our 5yr old daughter has severe speech and language delay and global development delay. We have yet to see them since they were removed though this is planned for this week. Two 1hr contacts. L.A. propose that contact be terminated after a short time. I am so scared we will never have a chance to get them back and that they will be separated. They keep suggesting that they have little attachment with each other and the attachment they have especially our 3yr old son with his Dad is insecure. Any advise is so welcome as we have no one to turn to. Both my husband and I are already seeking therapy for our long standing issues which have been highlighted but for the L.A. it all comes to late for the children.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4249
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Desperate for some support
Hello charmed1
Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post.
My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group. I’m really sorry to read about the distressing situation you are in regarding your children.
You have explained that your children were removed from your care on Friday and that an interim care order is in place.
We have a detailed advice sheet about care proceedings, which I would advise you to have a look at. This will explain the process that you are currently involved in and your rights and legal options.
We also have advice sheets about contact and the responsibilities of Children’s Services when children are in care.
As you are involved in care proceedings, decisions about your children will be made, not by the social workers, but by the court. Obviously Children’s Services are very influential in this decision making as they will be putting forward evidence to support their view that the children should not be returned to your care/ should be adopted.
The court will also want to hear your views about what is best for the children, however, and this is why it is very important for you to work closely with your solicitor to ensure that you are building the strongest possible case.
Hopefully you already have a solicitor representing you charmed? It is likely that you and your husband have been advised to get separate solicitors. I wonder how you feel about your solicitor and the advice they are giving you?
I would advise that you prepare for any meetings with your solicitor by making some brief notes highlighting any issues that you wish to discuss and any questions that you want him/ her to answer. Ask your solicitor to be open and honest with you about how your case is going, what your legal options are and what is the best way forward. Ask your solicitor to clarify if they say anything you don’t understand and make sure you feel they have understood your views and wishes.
The court will also appoint a guardian for the children and their views will be very significant and influential in the court. You should have an opportunity to meet with the guardian and share your views so, again, it is important that you make some notes in preparation for this meeting.
• Highlight that your children are your priority and that you want what is in their best interests
• Emphasise that you believe it is in the children’s best interests to return to your care and why
• Emphasise that you understand the concerns that have been raised about the children and highlight all that you are doing/ plan to do to address these issues and improve the situation
• Ask the guardian to be open and honest with you about their views and any other actions they would like to see you taking to reassure them that the children can be safely returned to your care.
The law says that children should be raised by their parents if this is possible. If the court decides that this is not in their best interests, the next priority is for children to remain within their wider family or network.
Have you considered whether you know anyone who might be in a position to care for the children if they cannot return to your care? This could be a family member but could also be a friend or someone else connected to you such as someone from your church, for example. If there is anyone who may be appropriate, it is very important that you discuss this with your solicitor and Children’s Services as soon as possible. It may be useful to request a family group conference to explore this fully.
It is good to hear that you and your husband are already seeking therapy to address some of the difficulties you are facing. I would advise that you continue to engage with this as well as being very proactive in looking for other support/ services that may assist you such as support groups around your specific issues, parenting courses, support around your daughters difficulties etc (contact a family may be a good place to start)
I hope this is useful charmed. Please do come back to let us know how things go at court tomorrow and to ask any further questions. You are also welcome to call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 8010366. The line is open between 9.30am- 3pm, Monday to Friday.
Take care
Suzie
FRG Adviser
Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post.
My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group. I’m really sorry to read about the distressing situation you are in regarding your children.
You have explained that your children were removed from your care on Friday and that an interim care order is in place.
We have a detailed advice sheet about care proceedings, which I would advise you to have a look at. This will explain the process that you are currently involved in and your rights and legal options.
We also have advice sheets about contact and the responsibilities of Children’s Services when children are in care.
As you are involved in care proceedings, decisions about your children will be made, not by the social workers, but by the court. Obviously Children’s Services are very influential in this decision making as they will be putting forward evidence to support their view that the children should not be returned to your care/ should be adopted.
The court will also want to hear your views about what is best for the children, however, and this is why it is very important for you to work closely with your solicitor to ensure that you are building the strongest possible case.
Hopefully you already have a solicitor representing you charmed? It is likely that you and your husband have been advised to get separate solicitors. I wonder how you feel about your solicitor and the advice they are giving you?
I would advise that you prepare for any meetings with your solicitor by making some brief notes highlighting any issues that you wish to discuss and any questions that you want him/ her to answer. Ask your solicitor to be open and honest with you about how your case is going, what your legal options are and what is the best way forward. Ask your solicitor to clarify if they say anything you don’t understand and make sure you feel they have understood your views and wishes.
The court will also appoint a guardian for the children and their views will be very significant and influential in the court. You should have an opportunity to meet with the guardian and share your views so, again, it is important that you make some notes in preparation for this meeting.
• Highlight that your children are your priority and that you want what is in their best interests
• Emphasise that you believe it is in the children’s best interests to return to your care and why
• Emphasise that you understand the concerns that have been raised about the children and highlight all that you are doing/ plan to do to address these issues and improve the situation
• Ask the guardian to be open and honest with you about their views and any other actions they would like to see you taking to reassure them that the children can be safely returned to your care.
The law says that children should be raised by their parents if this is possible. If the court decides that this is not in their best interests, the next priority is for children to remain within their wider family or network.
Have you considered whether you know anyone who might be in a position to care for the children if they cannot return to your care? This could be a family member but could also be a friend or someone else connected to you such as someone from your church, for example. If there is anyone who may be appropriate, it is very important that you discuss this with your solicitor and Children’s Services as soon as possible. It may be useful to request a family group conference to explore this fully.
It is good to hear that you and your husband are already seeking therapy to address some of the difficulties you are facing. I would advise that you continue to engage with this as well as being very proactive in looking for other support/ services that may assist you such as support groups around your specific issues, parenting courses, support around your daughters difficulties etc (contact a family may be a good place to start)
I hope this is useful charmed. Please do come back to let us know how things go at court tomorrow and to ask any further questions. You are also welcome to call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 8010366. The line is open between 9.30am- 3pm, Monday to Friday.
Take care
Suzie
FRG Adviser
Re: Desperate for some support
Hello. My husband and I are due to attend the 1st looked after child review this Thursday. However the final hearing has been adjourned and no new date set. So we are having the review not knowing the final outcome of the court proceedings. I am scared as we will meet the foster carers for the 1st time and have so many questions. Though I am seeking answers I also do not want to appear uncooperative. My youngest is due to start school in September and we do not know if he will go to the school I have chosen. He is missing all the welcome sessions and it's breaking my heart. I am really asking for some pointers as to how to cope with the meeting on Thursday as my solicitor is away.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4249
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Desperate for some support
Hi Charmed
Thank you for the update.
From the sounds of your post, it seems that any plans for adoption at this stage in the care proceedings, may be a bit premature, at least not until assessments (ie parenting, psychological, child psychologist) requested by your solicitor or the Local Authority in the current care proceedings have been completed.
If these are being done, has your solicitor informed you of the outcome, and are assessments of family and friends carers being done at this time or a family group conference being planned?
In preparation for the Looked After Review meeting you should have been sent a parent’s consultation form so you can give your views and comments about what is being planned for your children, in respect of health, education and contact. You will get chance to have your say in the meeting but try to be as focussed as possible, and think about dividing the issues into separate headings.
You may want to speak to the Independent Reviewing Officer before the meeting starts. It could be helpful to write down some key points of what you want to find out about your children’s care with you to the meeting.
Our advice sheet on duties of the Local Authorities gives details of what else you can expect to receive.
If you want to talk through your situation with one of our advisers, feel free to contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Thank you for the update.
From the sounds of your post, it seems that any plans for adoption at this stage in the care proceedings, may be a bit premature, at least not until assessments (ie parenting, psychological, child psychologist) requested by your solicitor or the Local Authority in the current care proceedings have been completed.
If these are being done, has your solicitor informed you of the outcome, and are assessments of family and friends carers being done at this time or a family group conference being planned?
In preparation for the Looked After Review meeting you should have been sent a parent’s consultation form so you can give your views and comments about what is being planned for your children, in respect of health, education and contact. You will get chance to have your say in the meeting but try to be as focussed as possible, and think about dividing the issues into separate headings.
You may want to speak to the Independent Reviewing Officer before the meeting starts. It could be helpful to write down some key points of what you want to find out about your children’s care with you to the meeting.
Our advice sheet on duties of the Local Authorities gives details of what else you can expect to receive.
If you want to talk through your situation with one of our advisers, feel free to contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
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