Ambushed at LAC Review
Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:21 am
My DD has special needs and although nearly 12 is developmentally more 6/7. She's under a full care order and been with her 'permanent' foster carer for 2.5 years. All seemed to be going well despite the carer being a single person and having another disabled child in the household. I believed the latter made up for the move away from the psychologist's firm recommendations as I thought she had the training to look after children with special needs. I have grave concerns now. My DD has decided she no longer wants me to go to her school for meetings, plays, sports days, etc. I believe this was triggered by the lack of communication at her sports day 3 years ago when I stayed too long and ended up in a classroom with the foster carer. My daughter became very upset and there was huge fallout resulting (I am only guessing) where it was decided at review that I would stop sports days but continued to see plays and attend meetings at school. I went to her school play that December and the carer sat next to me. All fine. Jump ahead to last December the foster carer and her family sat right behind me. This time it was reported in the SW's report that my daughter's "presentation changed when she saw mum". How do they know it was me when the carer and family were right behind me?! A couple of weeks ago I had a meeting with my daughter's SW. She told me my DD had been extremely upset at something I'd said at the last contact in June (a month had passed and first I'd heard of it). My daughter was telling me about her new teacher and I said that I'd met him and he was really nice. I realised I'd said the wrong thing as despite my daughter not having actually started this new school yet I had put my foot in it. I admitted the slip and all the SW said to me was that she had blamed the foster carer for lying as my DD had been told I wouldn't go to her school! Yesterday at the LAC review I was ambushed by the foster carers SW. A dragon who's been involved with my family in the past and has obvious dislike for me as I can be very vocal. It was extremely serious and that what I had said was destabilising the placement. My DD had smacked the carer on the shoulder shouted at her calling her a liar, etc. etc. I saw my daughter in the morning for contact. This happened when she got home much much later. I truly believe there's a lot more to this than they are saying. The carer says something different every time there's a meeting. She honestly makes it up as she goes along. I don't believe my DD is getting the support she needs. She attends a school for children with special needs, she had art therapy before why not now to find out exactly why she is pushing me away? Why am I being made an escape goat here? She needs mental health support urgently. She's just started year 7 and the carer is moving to a new house much further away from school. They lived just up the road from school before. So much disruption but that's ok apparently. It's all mum's fault! Contact is being reduced from 6 times a year for 3 hours to 3 times a year for 6 hours as I will be seeing my daughter separately from Dad because of his behavior towards me affecting our daughter. They say the time will double but that's debatable if my DD wants to go home before the end. I now can't attend PEP reviews and the LAC review with take place at her old school next door. The IRO even asked me if I had deliberately upset my daughter!!! What do members think? Should I wait, get legal advise, push for therapy for DD?