Advice on getting or working towards getting children home

[groovychick_855]

I had a mental health breakdown in nov 2008 and ended up being admitted to the mental health ward for ten weeks, in that time my husband went to live seperatly or the children would be put in foster care. The children was placed on the at risk register.
I was discharged in jan 2009. I got to see the children at a contact centre once a week then in december 2009 my husband and our children came back to live with me.

We attended core group meetings, had rehablement coming to help us as ss said our house was clutted etc.we was told by ss that our children would not be taken from us etc
Then out of the blue we was served papers on a friday a 2pm with no hope of getting a solicitor we tried and was in court on the 9th of december 2010 and our child was placed on an interim care orders. Luckily my eldest son got to stay on a home placement but our two the children was placed seperatly.
We attended pschology assesments which didnt go well for us, the court asked for pschiatric assesment for me but did not happen, and at the final hearing this year on 7th febuary 2012 and the children was placed in long term foster care.

In all this process We kept asking ss what to do to get children home what things we should do to satify ss that we can parent and all we got was its upto court now that the children are in long term foster care I'm still asking ss and they say get a solicitor which we have done but after the solicitor wrote to ss they have no intention and that the children need to settle down with fc even though ss know children want to come home.
Reasons for children being in care is risk of emotional abuse due to having mental breakdown

I feel so frustrated as I find ss is the only place that you cant discuss or try to discuss also we have shared parental responsibility
Any advice on getting children home would be helpful

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Groovychick

Welcome to the discussion boards. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser.

Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficult and distressing experiences that you and your family have had.

You have explained that your children are on full care orders and in long term foster care. You would like your children to be returned to your care but Children’s Services say that this cannot happen.

You are right that you still have parental responsibility for your children and should be involved in discussions and planning for them. Because your children are subject to care orders, however, the local authority shares this PR and can overrule you in terms of plans for the children.

While it is possible for your children to be placed back in your care under the care orders, this will not happen unless Children’s Services believe this is in their best interests.

It is important, therefore, that you make sure you fully understand the concerns that Children’s Services have about your parenting of the children and any changes that they would like you to make. Ensure that you are doing all you can to address the difficulties such as engaging in appropriate therapeutic work and attending any relevant support groups/ parenting courses etc.

The children will be subject to looked after child procedures including 6 monthly looked after children (LAC) review meetings chaired by an independent reviewing officer (IRO). I wonder if you attend these meetings?

The purpose of the LAC meetings is to review the children’s care plans and ensure they are still the best plans to meet their needs. It is important that you engage in the meetings and make it clear what progress you are making and what you feel is in the children’s best interests i.e. for increasing contact with the children with an overall aim of them eventually returning to your care.

It may be that, sadly, Children’s Services will never feel able to agree that your children should return to your care. In this case, you do have the legal option of applying to discharge the care orders on your children. To do this, however, you would have to show that that there has been a significant change of circumstances since the orders were made. You would need to seek legal advice to see if such an application is likely to succeed.

I would advise you to read our advice sheets about planning for children in the care system and reuniting children in the care system with their families, which will give you more detailed information about your rights and your options.

It may also be helpful to look at our advice sheet about contact with children in care.

I hope this is helpful Groovychick.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[groovychick_855]

We have never been offered parenting course but we did one years ago at our childrens nursery as it was free before CS got involved
Im not sure which parenting course as our children are 15 and 13 as we would go to one
As I'm not mentally ill now and not on any medication or on any treatment and was discharged 2 years ago.
The reason given was "emotional abuse or risk of emotional abuse" I'm being penalised for something at that time when I was ill I had no control over.
On paper we have shared PR but in actuallity we are told what is going to happen with our children, If we try and interject then we are overuled or is missed out on reports our concerns or told we are not cooperating.Very one sided

[rosetta]

Hi Groovychick,

I am in the same boat as you, with regards of trying to get my son back. He is also in foster care at the moment and I am fighting to get him back.

Do you have a good solicitor? If I was you I would not give up and fight all the way. Social Services are awful and I dont trust them at all. I had a similar situation to you I suffer from depression but am a lot better now but at the time that my son was in my care I was very low at times and it affected my ability to care for him so in January this year I had a break down but unlike you i wasnt admitted to a mental health ward.

I have participated in a cognitive and psychiatric assessment as well as a parenting assessment which came back as negative at the time i took it last year however I am challenging the recommendation that my son not be returned to my care as the social worker caring out the assessment produced a flawed parenting report. At the time i didnt challenge it but this year I am. I went to court and the judge made an order for me to undergo another assessment on parenting to determine whether I can have my child back I am waiting to start the assessment at the moment.

My advice to you is to seek legal advice from your solicitor and challenge the assessments that have been done, tell them that you are unhappy with the outcome and would like to undergo the assessments again. Also I advise you to do some research on parenting courses. I live in East London and within my borough we have a parenting programme called Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities. I referred myself for this programme last year and re referred myself this year and have started the course again, I think you should contact your local children centre and find out if there are such programmes in your borough and refer yourself asap. It will show the social services that you are being proactive and trying to make positive changes. With regards to your mental health, are you receiving any therapy? Another thing you could do is ask your gp for advice on support groups for your illness. I suffered from depression so i joined a depression management group which helped me to understand my illness.

I hope this information helps.

Good luck and dont give up on your children. Fight to have them returned to you