Urgent please help!

[Hopkins]

In May my middle daugther made an allegation of assult against my partner, social services were called in by the school and from this date i have not seen or spoken to my daugther! 12 weeks later the social services took me to a magestrates court and took my youngest daugther and now 6 months on they are trying to take my 13 year old son who was not said to be in danger at the court hearing when they removed my youngest daugther,

we have been fully co-operative throughout this entire process and not fought against anyone or anything they have asked, but to this date we have been treated as monsters.

we addmitted that we were struggling with my middle daugthers behaviour and that how we handled her behaviour at the time was a really a stupid thing to have done and asked again for help!

my partner and i have both been interviewed by the police in regards to the alleged incident as have my middle and youngest daugthers, my son we were told was not ABE interviewed as we had already "brainwashed" him.

anything and everything we have said has been used against us or agaist each other, my middle daugther was taken to live with my brother whom i do not get along with. and whom had not had any contact with any of my children 6 months prior or for much of the past 6 years as they lived in spain.

my youngest daugther was removed into private fostercare as the local authority refused to look into any other family or people we put forward to care for them until told to by a county court judge, but by this time it was already to late.

in June they asked that we have a mental health assessment we agreed and offered to seek this through our Gps but they said it had to be someone of their choosing this took until September to see two specialists.

The first assessment report was enlightening into my own background experiances and explains alot about my mental health and how they have been affecting my life since a young age and from the time of my own parents divorce, but they do not state that i am unable to give care or parent my children he states that only 12 weeks of cbt be undertaken.

my 2nd report from states some background history and does state that my self or my partner are completely unable to offer care or parent any child of any age!! and that years of therapy is needed before changes in regards to the children can be made!!

I could write pages apon pages of things that from reading your help pages seem to have been done by them incorrectly and not with in my rights or those of my children.

on the 17th December we are to appear in court for a 5 day fact finding hearing we had hoped to appeal the ICO of my youngest daugther and have her returned before christmas now it seems that we will be figthing to keep my son for christmas!

we both addmitted mental health problems, we both addmitted that our actions were wrong and asked for help over and over, the initial reports are full of opinions and lies and other allegations which have been carried through every report and we feel that this is what all others involed is basing their reports on rather than making that of their own.

nither my partner or i have been arrested, cautioned or charged in relation to the original allegation or that of any others that they have added during the process,

my partner was accused of punching my daugther in the face, pulling her hair and bending her middle toe.

since then strangulation from restrant and encourgement for the youngest to join in.

we are also accusted of feeding them all beans on toast on a daily basis and not feeding them from 7pmto 7am yup thats right 7pm to 7am.

looking them in their room for hours on end for months.

keeping them in the dark

scapegoating

depriving them of basic needs

turning the other two children against the middle child

failing to meet their emotional needs

failing to put their needs above my own (im disabled)

failing to keep them in contact with their father (who stopped contact himself after i had to report him for abusive calls and texts)

keeping them in unsanitary conditions.


we admitted putting a small lock on the girls door this was applied the weekend before the 28th may as we had found one child had been waking very early in the mornings and coming down stairs and stealing sweets and biscuits and touching things that did not belong to her
we were worried in case anything should happen to her or the youngest or she could find or touch something dangerous chemiscals etc ( as previously she has sprayed the whole families tooth brushes in cilit bang and put plant leaves in the youngests tooth paste)

on three occasions were the girls locked in from the time we went to bed at 12-1am til we got up at 8am we also provided a commode incase they needed the loo in the night or when they woke.

we have never denied this and do realise this was not the best thing to have done but because we can explain our actions or give a reason to why. they dont believe we are sorry for what we did or regret it. and say that we can rationlise and place blame with f.

also there was an incident a few years ago in which a soft toy of f,s the middle child was burnt on a bbq. this was at the hight of a very distructive time. and she had broken or ruined alot of not only our families things but that of s's parents too as we lived with them a year.

at the time it was a last ditch attempt to kurb her distructiveness and try and make her see that its not nice when other people ruin your things.

again we realise that this was not a good idea or the right way of handling the stituation and steph deeply regets this and had already made her peace with faith and replace the said soft toy not that this excuses our actions.


we both have solicitors acting on our behalves one seems very good and helpful, mine on the other hand has always been very negative towards my partner and not very helpful or ready to fight on my behalf or ready bring up issues.

I have all but given up on the hope of ever seeing my girls again and now face losing my son aswell and all because of a false allegation and the opinions of a social worker and her boss who are clearly anti same sex couples and people with mental health problems.

we have had several social workers assigned to our case, all but one who shows disgust and clearly not here to help or support us! and in fact do very little to keep us informed of anything that is happening with my girls,

my whole family have taken the words of my daugther whom they all know to have been a diffecult child and prone to lying and making up wild stories and turned against me.

can someone please let me know if what they are doing is right and if there is anything i can do to stop them taking my son and how i can please get my girls back!!

its putting a terrible strain on my relationship with my partner the stress of it all is not only affecting us but our son aswell our its also taking its toll on our mental health (which is also being used against us).

PLEASE HELP... we're are not pretending to be innocent! we know we need some help, but nobody has ever raised any concerns about me in the 13 years ive been raising my children. I even moved to safe guard my children when their father assulted my son.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi H

My name is Suzie, an adviser from the Family Rights Group.

Welcome to the discussion board, and thanks for your detailed post.

Sorry to hear about the difficulties you find yourselves in at this time.

Unfortunately, I have had to edit your original post because it breaches the Family Rights Group rules. This is because you have included a number of identifying details about your situation, that is currently placed before the court, and it could be possible for your children to be identified, by anyone visiting the board.

Can I suggest that you contact the advice line between Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.30 pm on 0808 801 0366 to discuss your situation in more detail. However, since it is a busy line, and in case you have trouble getting through at the first attempt, I will attempt to respond to your queries early next week and private message you with some advice.

In the meantime, may I also suggest you contact your solicitor to assist you with the more urgent matters.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[Hopkins]

Thanks for your reply, I have tried talking to my solicitor she just says that we shouldn't come across as being difficult to work with I will call the help line thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Hopkins

I am not sure if you have spoken to the advice line by the time you receive this, but I will respond anyway, just in case you have not yet managed to speak to an advisor.

Sorry to hear about your distressing situation, and that two of your three children have been removed from your care, (on the grounds of physical abuse and neglect,) with a possibility your other child could be moved at a later date. Your middle daughter now resides with a maternal uncle, (who was residing abroad), and your youngest daughter is in foster care.

You have stated that Children’s Services refused to further assess family members. Did they give you any specific reasons for this? Because under Working Together guidance 2010 http://www.workingtogetheronline.co.uk/, the Local Authority have a duty to assess family members. With your consent, they may wish to hold a family group conference, to help you make safe plans for the children, in the presence of the extended family network.

Where any child makes a disclosure, in this case due to physical abuse, Children’s Services have a duty to investigate under s 47 Children Act, to see if there is any substance to these claims.

Because of the serious and complex nature of your situation, the Local Authority have now issued care proceedings, and a fact finding hearing is due to take place next week. This will give you a better idea about what decisions will be made for the children, by the court, and what is being planned with regards to their care.

From Children's Services point of view, their priority is to keep an open mind, but to investigate the current allegations, and your ability to keep your children safe. In relation to the information you have shared, you may find it useful to look at our factsheet on parents with disabilities.

In terms of assessments that have taken place already however, you appear to have had two conflicting mental health assessments. The first more hopeful, is suggesting that with short term support, it is possible that you could safely care for your child. The second, however expresses doubts about your ability to overcome your difficulties, even with long term intervention, in order to meet your children’s needs, and within their timescales.

In your post, you query whether you are being discriminated on the grounds of sexuality http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/guide/pa ... rents.aspx and mental health issues 0300 123 3393 http://www.mind.org.uk/. If you feel strongly that you are not being treated fairly, on this basis, you could consider putting in a formal complaint at a later stage, but this will not be considered until the care proceedings have ended.

May I suggest how important it is for you both to work closely with your own individual solicitors, so they can give you legal advice, about the court process, and help you plan the best way forward .

Best Wishes


Suzie

[Hopkins]

Unfortunately the social worker just keeps lieing! She said inappropriate things to my son and tried to change arrangements with him that she has made with me this upset him a lot. When I spoke to her she denied saying anything and said she was responding to him saying " she should be worried about him" he was at home and heard her day this at which point he became even more upset as he states he did not and would not say this as he wishes to stay with me and my partner. The solicitors are now awaiting her report to see if they are going to seek removal and I feel she will. The medical reports are based on the lies in the reports. I and my partner had mental health assessments in march 2011 and the doctors new we had children and had difficulties with my middle child but didn't flag up any reasons with us or any other organisation about how this would affect us as parents and if anything when all this began mine and my partners mental health had improved immensely since that assessment.
I feel that these doctors just agreed with whatever was written in the reports