Hi I have never been on a forum before and probably going to get frowned upon for trying to keep my son in care but....
In 2009 I put my son in voluntary care, meaning ss had joint pc with me, his behaviour was uncontrollable and I had tried everything including a school which would meet his needs and even him living with my parents, things took a nasty turn and in the end I said I can’t do this anymore, his father was not around and I had 2 other children to care for. He went into foster care and whilst there in 2014 his dad returned and wanted him to stay with him and his partner and their children ( who are not the cleanest of people and their lifestyle is not great either). Eventually his relationship with his foster placement broke down and he moved in with his dad, whilst still under a care order.
From the day he moved in with them they have convinced h that the care order is no longer relevant and wen on a rampage to remove the order. At present there is only myself and as with pc and we have now gone to court this week to discharge the order.
I am contesting the order as I think it should stay I don’t trust his step mother and they let him get away with anything. They find naughty things he does funny, he is in the middle of GCSEs and is causing trouble at school, and I feel if the order is removed he will go on a downward spiral, I think it’s the only thing that keeps him semi in line as he knows ss have the power to remove him if things don’t go well at his dads. Dad and step mum obviously don’t want them around as they smoke weed etc and I can’t say anything as I don’t want to cause xxxx trouble.
Has anyone ever opposed had a discharge order and what do I need to do to stand my case we have a final hearing in feb and I want to be prepared . I want the best for my son and want him to achieve his potential but he needs very strict guidelines and boundaries
*xxxx* edited by Suzie for confidentiality
Trying to oppose a Discharge of care order
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OnlineSuzie, FRG Adviser
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- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Trying to oppose a Discharge of care order
Dear Sarah81
Welcome the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that due to the volume of work you did not receive a response to your post before now.
You have expressed the concerns you have regarding the care order for your son being discharged in favour of his father and step mother. Your son’s behaviour was not manageable for you and as a result he was initially in voluntary accommodation and then later a full care order.
It is not clear from your post how long your son has been living with his father and step mother but you are worried about him and the lack of boundaries from his father and stepmother. As there is a care order in place and your son’s behaviour has not, from what say, improved in his father’s care, children’s services ought to consider whether he needs additional help and support. For example, does he need to be assessed for ADHD or something similar; or therapy/counselling to try and get to the root cause of his challenging behaviour.
You say in your post that the father and step mother are not the cleanest people and their lifestyle is questionable as well. Children’s services would have carried out an assessment of your son’s father and step mother before he could be placed there so I assume that they have no issues with them. Also, your son's wishes and feelings about his placement will be considered as well.
In your post you mention “Dad and step mum obviously don’t want them around as they smoke weed etc and I can’t say anything as I don’t want to cause xxxx trouble:” It seems to me that if you believe your son to be in an unsafe environment you might need to consider what is best for him, why would it cause trouble for your son for children’s services to be made aware of drugs being smoked? Have you discussed your concerns with the independent reviewing officer (IRO), this is usually the person who chairs the looked after child (LAC) meetings.
Are children’s services supporting the discharge of the care order? There are certain benefits for your son to remain under a care order in respect of the support he can expect from children’s services as a care leaver. Please read our advice sheetSupport for young people leaving the care system.
Regarding the final hearing of the application to discharge the care order, my advice is that you should be prepared to put forward to the judge why you believe it is best for your son to remain in the care of the local authority. You can mention your concerns about his behaviour, the benefits for him to be treated as a care leaver and the support he would be entitled to receive. He is 16 or nearly 16, so children’s services should be preparing his pathway plan which is what happens to prepare a child for leaving care and he would have a Personal Adviser to support him under the pathway plan.
If you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that due to the volume of work you did not receive a response to your post before now.
You have expressed the concerns you have regarding the care order for your son being discharged in favour of his father and step mother. Your son’s behaviour was not manageable for you and as a result he was initially in voluntary accommodation and then later a full care order.
It is not clear from your post how long your son has been living with his father and step mother but you are worried about him and the lack of boundaries from his father and stepmother. As there is a care order in place and your son’s behaviour has not, from what say, improved in his father’s care, children’s services ought to consider whether he needs additional help and support. For example, does he need to be assessed for ADHD or something similar; or therapy/counselling to try and get to the root cause of his challenging behaviour.
You say in your post that the father and step mother are not the cleanest people and their lifestyle is questionable as well. Children’s services would have carried out an assessment of your son’s father and step mother before he could be placed there so I assume that they have no issues with them. Also, your son's wishes and feelings about his placement will be considered as well.
In your post you mention “Dad and step mum obviously don’t want them around as they smoke weed etc and I can’t say anything as I don’t want to cause xxxx trouble:” It seems to me that if you believe your son to be in an unsafe environment you might need to consider what is best for him, why would it cause trouble for your son for children’s services to be made aware of drugs being smoked? Have you discussed your concerns with the independent reviewing officer (IRO), this is usually the person who chairs the looked after child (LAC) meetings.
Are children’s services supporting the discharge of the care order? There are certain benefits for your son to remain under a care order in respect of the support he can expect from children’s services as a care leaver. Please read our advice sheetSupport for young people leaving the care system.
Regarding the final hearing of the application to discharge the care order, my advice is that you should be prepared to put forward to the judge why you believe it is best for your son to remain in the care of the local authority. You can mention your concerns about his behaviour, the benefits for him to be treated as a care leaver and the support he would be entitled to receive. He is 16 or nearly 16, so children’s services should be preparing his pathway plan which is what happens to prepare a child for leaving care and he would have a Personal Adviser to support him under the pathway plan.
If you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
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