Iam on a downward spiral

Post Reply
Cat
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:15 pm

Iam on a downward spiral

Post by Cat » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:51 pm

This nightmare is getting so much worse. I feel a million times and the cryin is never ending. Iam actually wording myself now a bit. Cos I just want this horrible flutterfly to go away and it won't. Its like no matter what it's just too late to ever feel a bit OK. Not one single person has been in touch with me about my kids and this is crazy mind mode. I don't get how they can separate a little family and sleep at night. My mums not well, she carnt breathe properly and they have said it's stress. Why do these evil workers destroy family's that just asked for help. Iam still in total shock its happening cos I still carnt get how it happened. I carnt live feeling like this much longer because its a awful hollow feeling and I feel sick out of the blue loads and how anyone can live like Thas ill never know. I carnt even talk to my mum. Now cos I don't want to stress or upset her. I just don't know what to do. Iam the daftest person on this planet. Just cos I've got a big gob dosent make me bad. I don't gossip I don't bother with anyone at all anymore and that's scareing me aswell. I hate mouning to people who have horrible lives themselves at the moment but I really am getting worse. My kids are getting to be strangers and it's too much xxx

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: Iam on a downward spiral

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Thu Jan 17, 2019 7:22 am

Hello Cat

I'm sorry to hear things aren't any better. It's the worst feeling knowing you have to sit on the outskirts of your own children's lives. Then when you think things can not get any worse you find out that your mother isn't well. She was the person you turned to for emotional support and now you don't want to put this on her.

I've been where you are at, I was prescribed medication which took the edge off - it didn't make everything suddenly ok, but it did allow me to approach situations without the emotional side constantly overwhelming me. It wasn't a quick fix either, I had to try a few things and get something that worked for me. I also pushed for talking therapies which if honest I didn't find particularly helpful. Maybe this route might be something that you'll pay some thought to? This might get you through the worst and stop you spiralling further into the depths of despair. If you are broken you aren't in a position to fix something yourself.

Always here if you need to vent. Don't forget that!

Misery x

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4207
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Iam on a downward spiral

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:46 pm

Cat wrote: Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:51 pm This nightmare is getting so much worse. I feel a million times and the cryin is never ending. Iam actually wording myself now a bit. Cos I just want this horrible flutterfly to go away and it won't. Its like no matter what it's just too late to ever feel a bit OK. Not one single person has been in touch with me about my kids and this is crazy mind mode. I don't get how they can separate a little family and sleep at night. My mums not well, she carnt breathe properly and they have said it's stress. Why do these evil workers destroy family's that just asked for help. Iam still in total shock its happening cos I still carnt get how it happened. I carnt live feeling like this much longer because its a awful hollow feeling and I feel sick out of the blue loads and how anyone can live like Thas ill never know. I carnt even talk to my mum. Now cos I don't want to stress or upset her. I just don't know what to do. Iam the daftest person on this planet. Just cos I've got a big gob dosent make me bad. I don't gossip I don't bother with anyone at all anymore and that's scareing me aswell. I hate mouning to people who have horrible lives themselves at the moment but I really am getting worse. My kids are getting to be strangers and it's too much xxx
Dear Cat

Thank you for posting on the forum again. I am really very sorry that you are having such a difficult time since your children were removed from your care and subsequently made subject to final care orders.

As your children are now under care orders, children’s services have certain duties to children who are in their care. It is not clear from your post whether the court made an order for contact or what the final care plan stated would be the level of contact you would have with your children.

Unless a decision was made that it was not in the children’s interest to have contact with you and each other (if placed separately), children’s services has to duty to promote contact. I suggest you read our advice sheet Duties on Children’s Services when children are in the care system which will give your more information about what you are able to ask for in relation to your children.

If the final care plan for contact is not been followed by children’s services, then you should contact the independent reviewing officer (IRO). The IRO has a responsibility to oversee the careplan and act in the children’s interest to ensure their welfare and that no changes are made without a proper review meeting.

Contact is important for the children provided it is in their best interests to have that contact with parents, family members with whom they have a significant relationship and siblings. The IRO is required to obtain the children’s views, inform them of their rights and support them in their wish to have contact.

In you post you express feeling desperate because of the situation you are currently in without your children in your care. I think it is very important that you speak to your GP who may be able to refer you to support services for counselling or therapy. It is important that you take care of yourself so that you can be in a much better place to ensure that you maintain good contact with your children.

If you are not having contact because children’s services has refused then you might find it helpful to read this advice sheet Contact with children in care.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

Cat
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:15 pm

Re: Iam on a downward spiral

Post by Cat » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:14 pm

Hi susie.
I really do need to speak to someone or could u tell me a couple of things as not 1 of these social workers have any intentions on telling me a thing.
Sorry iam all over the place at the minute and I still carnt get in my head around how this happened still. Its been a year and Iam getting worse and although it's going back to court on the 26th March iam so scared..
my kids shouldn't be in care and this nightmare is a personal thing the 2 social workers had against me its mad but true. My poor kids are so paying the price and iam frustrated and angry and hurt all in 1. There's so much to this story it's bizarre. I've had 1 update in a year of how they are doing and what they are doing. I've had 5 or 6 about contact and there always negative either they have cancelled or they will if I don't behave. I not only feel like a waste of time cos they make me feel like a freak. But they really talk or pass messages on like iam a naughty child.
Iam not allowed to phone anyone anywhere about my kids and that's what has made me a million times worse. There's a another s worker involved now an he's just as bad as the 2 woman who are still involved but he's the front man getting the flack for them. But he is a nasty bit of work aswell. I got to see my 2 on Thursday just gone and that was the first time since the 20th of Dec last year. They have changed and I have to get them home because its obvious that care is everything worse than I ever thought. All the lied they said about me with no stories or evidence is all my major worries now. The care staff took my daughter and she's now got the rod in her arm... I feel sick. She is 15. She's with her boyfriendand they think that's OK.. I don't know what they think really as no 1 has told me A thing.
But she's 2 young to be on that rod thing. They allow her to go there every night so it's obviously the easy option for them. How dare they not safeguard my child properly. She's has been to a rave and some of her friends took pills. How wrong is all this. And she's been drinking. Now me being a recovering alcoholic and have been dry for 12 13 years now and I despise anything to do with drink. My kids never ever seen me with a drink thankfully they were 2 little and I kicked the ex husband out and got myself sorted.. There's just far to much to try and explain. But in the last court the judge was asking for all the letters they have send me with all reports and minutes and everything thing she needs. Their solicitor said I was swing my kids every month and calls every week. Utter poppy cock. That all had to be in by the 20th last month. As from yesterday my soicitor emailed me saying still nothing. Because they never sent me reports or accident and incident report s. And the few meetings I was allowed to go to no notes wers took for minutes.. The iro sent me a few sets of minutes because I went on what do they know and asked on there. The bottom line is now there covering up for my other child who has been best up ( I phoned the police) fell off the roof and got stichers. He wasnt messing around he ws getting away from some. Older girl hitting him. This social worker now Chris promised he move him but I'd lieing cos in court it ws said he ws settles happy and nothing about whst I'd really going on. I've been crawing the walls. At contact and phone calls in the past I've always said about an advacate and wasn't allowed in contact to tell my kids anythin what they should have been told about their rights but never have. That's why there separate and another lie is thees workers say they will get out together if there good but in court thats not what they have ever intended. The workers have said differed things to everyone. Making out they have done everything there's surpossed to but have most definitely haven't. I don't understand that they don't care about my 2 and are clearly ignoring all my concerns cos iam not allowed to get in touch with anyone to ask what'd going o.. So so strange it's torture they have even stopped my mums contact to when they decide and her calls also and u wouldn't believe all the rest of what they have done like get her partner of 30 years to go thr police Station to get done For assult.. He never got arrested but all contact would end if he didn't go.. Its all too crazy. Iam still so confused and my youngest is as he asked me why are they in care? I don't know. They have an advacate now but have seen this person once.. They only got refered to cover there backs an dbecssue inws phoning anyone I could to get help. At the contacts in the past the social worker had always just phoned and give the list of things we couldn't talk about and an advacate was one of them. I couldn't ask if they were safe nothing. But the contact lady now just seems she's on the servicers side which they all stick together. But I say and ask what I can cos I don't get to know and iam worried. Everything is inappropriate. Which asking if anyone is hurting my kids or anything going on please tell me cos the staff and s workers are keeping all the stories to themselves but my kids tell me when they can. I hope iave made sense. Iam shaking now thinking about how they have got away with this.. But they have. I've emailed the children's commissioner and aim in the middle Of telling the Hcpc and ICO but I feel its not quick enough. It's all so corrupt and the contact lady says I carnt ask anything she she'll stop contact. If I cry or my youngest gets upset it's negative and she'll stop it. She won't let us speak about anthing what the s woker have said we carnt. Now I don't trust her. And i read up the contact last night and iam still cryin on and off cos it's protecting kids. I feel sick. My mums not well again cos of this. It's killing me. Why doesn't my kids have the advacates number. Why does the contact lady take over and stop me finding out as much as I can.. I get snippets that's bad enough. I've been blocked on my daughters phone and they have gone worse now. Letters are still going around bad mouthin me now iam getting accused of threatening workers families.. That was a letter Peter dowds secretary emailed me. And sayin case was closed. Everyone just believes social workers and iam not getting to know anyfjo. Only by chance. As u can imagine theres way more and they have destroyed me. The names are horrible. Mentally something wrong with me cos I cry all the time and asked them why their lieing to their faces when I've ever seen they. No iam heartbroken and so angry and hurt and more confused because this shouldn't be happen. And no there's no smoke because there was never a fire but these liers. Its not fair my head is permanently asking why??? Thanks Jane.
Last edited by Cat on Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Cat
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:15 pm

Re: Iam on a downward spiral

Post by Cat » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:15 pm

I will phone if that OK xxx

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there are 6 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 6 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 318 on Fri May 28, 2021 9:04 pm