May as well be talking to thin air!! Any advice??

Post Reply
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:10 pm

May as well be talking to thin air!! Any advice??

Post by SunshineStarRainbow » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:42 pm

I have previously posted "lengthy back story but please read I need advice" but I will quickly reiterate the main points of my case, which has now gone on for 14 months and there seems to be no light at the end of this tunnel.

- I had a daughter, a son and a husband. Daughter was husbands step-daughter, we had our son after we got married.
- Husband began abusive after we got married. First incident happened when I was 11 weeks pregnant.
- 18th August 2017, I went began a job. My daughter was 16 months, my son was 3 months old and 16 days. My children were in my (ex) husbands care. When I returned from work, my son had a bruise to his forehead; I asked what happened - ex told me he bumped his head accidentally, while bathing him.
- 25th of August 2017, I'm at work and had been for around 2 hours. Ex calls me to tell me our son is not breathing. I urge him to call an ambulance. My son is pronounced dead at 9:46am.
- Tests and scans began. They find my son had healing rib fractures, dated at 2-5 weeks before his death. I did not had a clue and my world ended. My daughter was taken into care.
- I quickly began resenting and blaming my ex, for all of it, and left him after our sons funeral.
- 9 months past, my daughters dad was contacted and brought into it, my daughter went into my parents care - the fact finding happened. My ex and his dad falsley accused me of being abusive, rather than him (despite the police records) and I was left in the pool with my ex.
- I immediately tried appealing; my solicitors had let me down hugely. They failed to follow instruction and failed to enter evidence.
- Judges stick together, my appeal was rejected.
- The Welfare for my daughter is on the 29th of this month and I am still fighting.

After deciding to self-represent, I entered into court last Monday a statement highlighting the actual facts;
1) My ex, on the day my baby boy passed away states "ribs crushed" in his police interview - 6 months later the medical report states "compression" was how these injuries came about.
2) My ex also states "I've got to say it was me" in the context of ruling out myself, my grandma and my mam.
3) The coroners report states "overall, the coroners report indicates an acute asphixial mode of death, most likely related to positional asphixia" - my ex left my baby boy face down on the floor "screaming" (is what he told the police)
4) the coroners report also highlights my son had haemorraghing to his vocal chords - my ex said he left him to "scream"!!

So, I present this paperwork to court, evidencing how - to put it politely - incompetent the professionals involved have been and that, it is obvious that my ex hurt my son - on the balance of probabilities, if all that was needed was 1% - my dead son is that 1%!! They are taking a child from an innocent woman and, they know it - it even says in the judgement that "her qualities as a mother, findings aside, would support a return of her daughter to her care" - These findings are not fact and they didn't even discuss my sons death at court - the findings aren't even based on fact!

The judges response, when reading my document, was "This makes things difficult but you have to accept the findings for what they are"

I may as well be talking to thin air. It's like banging your head of a brick wall.

How is my ex not even being charged with neglect?!

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2177
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: May as well be talking to thin air!! Any advice??

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:20 pm

Dear SunshineStarRainbow

Thank you for posting again in two separate threads to which I am providing a response here.

I see that you are still very frustrated by the position you find yourself in reading the two posts you have made since the final IRH hearing.
You brought the new evidence relating to your son’s death to the attention of the court in a statement and, although the judge read the statement, and I am supposing took account of the evidence, he still considered that you should remain in the pool of perpetrators. I do not have all the information that the court has so can only advice you on the basis of what you say in your posts.

Looking at the time line you provided in your post headed Might as well be talking to thin air, it appears that the fracture injuries that your son suffered pre-dates when you returned to work and I am assuming that neither you or your ex-husband could provide an explanation for how these injuries occurred which may be why the judge made findings that you should both be in the pool of perpetrators rather than the issue of your son’s very sad death.

From what you say your son’s death was caused by asphyxiation and, if the case should have been referred to the police the coroner ought to have done son. You want your ex-husband to be punished for your son’s death and that is a matter for the police to look into as to whether his death was caused by your ex-husband’s actions. The best would be to ask the police to look again at the case especially with the cause of death now identified.

Regarding the appeal which was rejected, in my previous post I answered this point. I suggest you look at this again. It may be that you will have to wait for the outcome of this case to make an appeal on the issues which you believe the judge failed to take into account.

The judgement you say state that but for the findings you could have your daughter returned to your care. You also say your credibility was not good and this is why you were kept in the pool of perpetrators. You have not given any information what aspect of the case led to the judge finding that there was an issue with you credibility. As you are unable to accept the judge’s findings then perhaps you could ask for the fact finding to be looked at again by the court. You say the judge wanted to know if this was what you were doing.

Findings made by the court are based on all the evidence available at the time as well as the evidence given by the parties and the judge’s assessment of both in order to reach his decision. What findings did the judge actually make against you and your ex-husband?

Turning now to your suggestion that the social worker’s comment that the age of the injuries to your son was 2-3 weeks, when in fact the report say 2 to 5 weeks, is not in itself a reason for the to be thrown out technically 2-3 weeks in within the 2-5 weeks’ timeframe. You can of course raise these factual inaccuracies and, as you are representing yourself, you will have an opportunity at the final hearing to question the social worker on those matters in her statement with which you disagree and ask for clear explanations.

You will see that I have tried to address the main issues in both of your posts and I hope this is helpful.

Have you considered instructing a barrister through what is called direct access to represent you at the final hearing or even to advise you on the papers to find out the best course of action you can take? Under this procedure you do not need a solicitor to decide on the barrister you would do it yourself. This will incur a cost but it might help you to understand things more as he or she can give you a better idea about the appeal process and the judge’s decision.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


Post Reply