Special Guardianship Order

[AaJayyy]

Hi,
I'm 18 years of age and I had my daughter when I was 17, my family have had a lot of problems with social services for over 22 years. I found out I was pregnant at the hospital because the paternal father had fly kicked me in my stomach that day. I was given a allocated social worker and we whent to a conference where the chairman thought that the best thing for me and my daughter to go into a 3 Months mother and baby foster placement to undertake a parenting assessment away from my family because of the large amount of history. I failed my parenting assessment because I wasn't able to come to terms with my past experiences as a child and therefore there was a lot of questions that i couldn't answer because I have either blacked it out or I just can't remember. Paternal father put his nan forward to take on the both me and my daughter and (paternal great grandmother to my daughter) past her liability assessment I we then went to live with her in her home, but the placement there between myself and paternal great grandmother broke down. I was told to do therapy which i did on 5 occasions but then stopped because it wasn't clear what i was doing it for. We then went to court 4 weeks ago that lasted for 2 weeks because the judge couldn't make a decision. On weither to put me and my daughter in another foster placement or to leave my daighter to remain with her paternal great grandmother. In the end the judge granted paternal great grandmother a special guardianship order. I'm only aloud to see my daughter once a week for 2 hours and I'm now living in a mother and baby hostel on my own. It hasn't been clear to me what i have to do to get my daughter back, only to do therapy. But I've been told if I go above and beyond that i will get my daughter back. But ive been reading some of the stories on here about people losing there kids and they've done everything they could to get there kids back and they've not been able to, and I had a phone call from my solicitor and she's saying that I can apply to discharge to gaurdianship order within another 5 months to a year. But I'm now being toId that it's not guaranteed that i will be getting my daughter back at all, because she'll be settled where she already is. My solicitor gave me a choice, do I continue to fight for my daughter for them to tell me I won't be getting her back because she's settled, or do I just leave her. I really want to fight for my daughter to get her back but i honestly don't know what to do anymore. I've been left to my own devices now with no support no nothing, just a solicitor that can't do anything. My daughter was removed from my care due to therapy and disengagement, I've never smoked, drinked, taken drugs, never been arrested, nothing at all. They say that i can look after my daughter fine but they're worried about my past and how that might have impacted on me. But there has to be more to the story than this, i read there forums and people have lost there kids for all types of reasons but my situation is nothing compared to what others are going through and thats the part I dont understand. None of this is making any sense to me and my daughter social worker keeps giving me the same answers everytime that they don't know. Perternal great grandmother is 60 years of age with serious health issues and she nearly died 4 weeks ago, if i hadn't of been there she would have died and i dread to think what could have happened to my daughter if i wasn't there. She dropped my daughter a few weeks ago and evertime i phone her she is screaming and shouting at my daughter. She can not manage on her own with my daughter only with support but what will happen if there is no one to support her ? Paternal father suffers with ADHD, CAP D syndrome and DAMP synrome (autism) and he is a drug dealer bringing his drug deeler friends in and out of the house while my daughter is there, he knocked her down when she's sitting up, he hits her in her face with pillows, and tells her to shut up when she's crying. He can be really horrible to her and her threatened me on a regular basis and he hit me while my daughter was in my arms. He has a really bad criminal record with previous convictions for robbery, possession of a knife and assault. He is a danger to himself and others but he is aloud to come in and out if his grandmother home where my daughter is when his contact is only one day a week the same as mine, When i was living with them i was able to save gaurd my daughter and now i can not. I have expressed my concerns a number of times to the allocated social worker and solicitor about the welfare of my daughter, she is not being safeguarded or looked after properly and now they think I'm point scoring. If someone or anyone has gone through what i have that could maybe relate I could really do with some support and maybe some guidance. My daughter will be turning 1 next week and we was together from the moment she was born (10th May 2017) we waken into a mother and baby foster placement for 3 Month when my daughter was 8 days old (18 May 2017), and we then moved on to Paternal great grandmothers home from August 18 2017 - 28th March 2018. Please, i just went my daughter back where she belongs with me, there must be something I can do.
Thank you.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear AaJayyy

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I see from your post that you are very upset that your daughter is not in your care and have had a lot of difficulties before and after your daughter was born.

In your post you state that your family has had children’s services (new name for social services) involvement for 22 years. As a result of this, when you found out about your pregnancy in what was a traumatic situation where you were assaulted by the father of your daughter, the plan was to give you that opportunity to work with children’s services so that there would be a possibility of your baby remaining in your care. Unfortunately, you found it hard to successfully complete your parenting assessment from the mother and baby placement. You say this was due to your inability to come to terms with your past to be able to respond appropriately to questions. You do not mention the issues from your past.

A further attempt was made for you and baby to be with the paternal great grandmother. What was the position regarding your relationship with the father following his assault upon you?

I am sorry to see that your second placement also failed.

You do not seem to have been able to continue with work that you needed to do to show children’s services that you could safely care for your baby. It is important that parents work with children’s services to ensure that they get the best outcome for their child or children. As you were unable to complete the therapy sessions which, I suppose, were to help you address some of the issues from your post. It is important that you understand that past experiences can have a significant impact on how a person performs or react in a given situation. In your case, in how you would parent your daughter. It seems that it was the view of the court and other professionals that as you did not engage to address issues through therapy that you would not have appropriate coping strategies to look after your baby safely.

Whilst I understand that believe your daughter being in her great grandmother’s care is not safe, children’s services carried out all the appropriate assessments and the court would have considered all the evidence before deciding that this was a good placement to meet your daughter’s needs as she grows up. You think that because of her age she is unable to care for your daughter but many grandparents take on the care of grandchildren to prevent them being in care or even adopted out of the birth family. The fact that there is a special guardianship order is really a good thing for you and your daughter although it might not seem that way to you at the moment, as if she was not approved as a special guardian, adoption could have been the outcome which would mean that you would no longer have any legal rights as the mother. The adoptive parents would be her legal parents, you would lose your parental responsibility and may not even have contact except maybe letterbox contact. Please read our advice sheet Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents?

You say you want your daughter back but worried that this is unlikely to happen because of stories our have read. Before you can make an application to discharge the special guardianship order, you must have made significant changes to your life and addressed that concerns that existed at the time the court made the order. In your case, you will have to do the therapy and anything else you were asked to do. The court has to be satisfied that there has been significant change and evidence provided to show this. As before, it is your daughter’s welfare that is important. If you are able to work towards more contact that too would be helpful. I have included here a link to our young parents’ website. This will give you an idea of what it means to work with children’s services.

I see that you have concerns that your daughter’s father is able to have contact with her over and above yours. This might seem unfair but it is his grandmother’s home and if there were restrictions that the grandmother has to follow then children’s services will need to be made aware if she is not doing. This could lead to your daughter being removed and that does not mean to your care. I suggest that you try to get on with the grandmother so you can get to the point where you can have more contact. She does have parental responsibility for your daughter which she can exercise over yours under the special guardianship order.

You may wish to speak to an adviser about your case and, if so, do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie