I just want my baby home...

[Gem247]

I have a baby in foster care. I was told my baby would not come home with me. This was despite being told that I would have a 6 week core assessment after baby was born. This never happened. A section 20 agreement was signed by my partner when I was in the hospital. Baby went to a foster carer and has been there since. My partner and I split up in May. He is a psychopath and made me believe we were fighting for our child. I was manipulated. I have undergone the parenting assessment which was positive and also psychological assessment. The usual happened, whereby the report says I need therapy. I have engaged throughout this process.

But, I had a IRH 2 weeks ago and have been told I will not have my child retruned to me. My ex who had a bad psychologial assessment and is most definately a risk, pulled out of the proceedings at the IRH. My barrister argued that could have therapy and still have my child home. But the pyscholigist said I had limited support here. We argued that I would move closer to my family and thus have all the support I need. The psychologist was told by my barrister that after my postive parenting assessment, I had proved I could meet my child's needs without support. But the pyschologist said it was just an assessment; thus making the assessment invalid in court!. The judge decided that neither us would have our child home. I feel that the Judge has made a decison that I wish to appeal.

Unfortunately the only thing happening now is that my ex's mother is being assessed for a SGO. I am not pleased about this, and my contact is being reduced to once a month, and my ex's once a week. Again, I am not pleased. It is so unfair that I cannot have my child home. I know that if I oppose the SGO, the likelyhood is that either it still goes ahead or otherwise my baby will be adopted. I want to appeal, but am worried of the outcome. I am engaging in therapy and thus responded to the pyschologist and I know I can provide a safe home and the best future for my child.

The SW did not write in her statement she had even visited my home and she only saw me because I called her to make appointments to talk. In her statement all she did was state what the psychologaist said. The Guardian, again just stated what the pyschologist said. More importantly, my ex is planning that his mother gets the SGO so that he can have our child with him. He is "trying to get in through the back door". The Guardian, well, I thought I had her support, but I am not sure any more. The final hearing is in just under 2 months time and I am still with some hope, but it is fading due to the Judge's decision at the IRH. I thought I would be able to ive my evidence, but I think my barrister did the talking. Now I feel I will not have the chance again. I think the final hearing will simply be SGO or adoption. I know the SW manager has already decided as the FSW told me that my baby is going to my ex's mother and then my ex will have care in the future. Hence, I have once a month contact and he will have 4 times as much!

My ex did not even have a postive parenting assessment and the more worrying thing is that he is a dangerous risk. The pyschological assessment revealed some disturbing facts. He has been diagnosed with a lot. He also tried to strangle me just weeks before he left me. I cannot comprehend how the SS can even contemplate letting my ex or his mother have my child. I am just lost! It may be because his mother used to work for adult SS. The Judge makes the decision and I hope and pray its the right one. But I have no faith in him.

I just want my baby home.

Gem x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Gem247

Welcome to the board

Sorry that you are going through such a difficult time at present.

You state that your baby is accommodated in foster care under a section 20 agreement, and that your ex partner signed this, prior to the care proceedings commencing, and that this relationship has now ended.

What were the background circumstances that led to your child being removed from your care? Were you consulted about the reasons for, or implications of either of you signing your consent, or asked to seek legal advice, at the time?

You go on to state that you have had a positive parenting assessment, but the psychologist report was not that favourable. What were the particular strengths raised, as well as the areas that you may need support within the assessments? Have these been fully explained to you?

It must be a difficult thing to not only feel that you are in danger of losing your child at his stage, but also to be faced with the prospect of them going to live with the paternal family, under a Special Guardianship Order. Particularly, as you have concerns about the father’s parenting capacity, but whether this could ever be a long term safe placement for your child.

Have you had the opportunity to file your own statement to the court, so at least your views can be heard, and is there anything else that your solicitor is recommending at this time?

If you wish to discuss your situation in more detail, please contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best Wishes


Suzie