Made out to be a monster

Mum4justice91
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Made out to be a monster

Postby Mum4justice91 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:50 pm

Hi
June 2016 my son went into school and said i beat him i strangled him and bite him

The hospital checked him over said it was mishandling by this point it was going down hill id told them the night before had been one of his mega melt downs he threw him self upstairs he bited me and hit me and screamed at me but the hospital sided with social services.

Then the social worker got me to sign a voluntary sign over form (the police were there felt i had no choice) after that the police took me and then formally charged me with ABH i spent 3 hours in a police cell and bailed till august 25th

Then day later social worker came round said her manager recommended 4 weeks in foster care. PLO meeting on 4th july said 5 weeks recommended. Then august 14th after interview with my stepdad who witnessed what my son did to me and knew i didnt do what my son said police sent letter with NFA big relief asked if i could have my son back but for 4 months same old excuse oh will dicuss next time till ss decided it was time to take it to court but in the time my son was in foster care to court he was in his 2nd placement and then court came after that my son was put in 3rd placement hes still there now.

But now basically judge has said hand him over i will commend you so much for it but the only upside is the judge hasnt said is he will not return so im holding on to that

But ive been made out to be a monster but im not i pushed 4 years to get my son diagnosed and this month he was with autism and ADHD i know i could have done so much better but im no saint never will be but ss say ive done this n that all on people seeing things supposedly but never no photo or cctv evidence just the words of parents and school staff and hospital notice the pattern all professionals i live in a big street everyone knows whats what they have never would report me to ss

Im hoping doing all what judge asks me to do gets me my son home cause ive said im not willing to hand him over if no comphremises arnt made but if childrens guardian and ss are against me what do i do? The judge has said they must write a support plan of what they will do if my son comes home.

I just need advice what can i do to make the judge see what i want is whats best for my son and to have him home at the end of it would be a blessing ive applied to more courses and triple ppp stepping stones

Any advice will be appriciated

Ps im a single mum who wants and will do all for her child no matter what

Mum4justice91
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Mum4justice91 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:52 pm

Also my social worker and her manager have both been unprofessional is there out i can do anything appreciated

Minnie
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:02 am

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Minnie » Tue Jan 31, 2017 6:27 pm

This is pretty much what happened to me except the hospital backed me and the so did the police. The social workers overwrite the all the opinions from the day one to present day. All the physical stuff has fallen by the wayside over the last 15 months, I have been excused of emotional and psychological abuse because of been a domestically abusive relationship and that my daughter has complex behaviour which have blamed for

Mum4justice91
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Mum4justice91 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:04 pm

Yes same here there saying if he comes home he wilm be phyiscally,emotionally harmed by me but tbh even the police were against me aswell my cousin is a police sergeant why would i be this monster im being portrayed as i love my son il admit im not perfect but who the hell is im in a visious circle being fed the sharks

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1737
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Feb 01, 2017 4:16 pm

Dear mum4justice91,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.

I can see that there are currently care proceeding sin resect of your son due to allegations that he made about you physically abusing him.
Although the police were initially involved, they are not taking any further action against you.

You accept that you have struggled to parent your son due to his behaviour and you have pushed for an assessment to see if there is a reason why he has behaviour difficulties.

At last, a diagnosis of autism and ADHD has been given to your son. Normally, with these diagnoses you could get support to help you parent a child with these conditions.

Have you found out what support might be available to help you look after your son, if he was rehabilitated home?
You could speak to Young Minds or the National Autistic Society . Although children services have been asked by the judge to put together a support plan, it might help your case if you were proactive as well.

You also need to show you can work very closely with professionals at this time. Although, you might have a complaint case against the social worker and team manager, it is more important to show that you can work with them. If there is a plan for your son to return home, you would have to be able to work with children’s services. They will be monitoring you.

More than ever you need to work with your solicitor. Ask your solicitor, what else you can do to progress your case?

What about your friends and family? Has there been a family group conference to look for support?
If the judge decides against your son being returned to you, is there anyone in your network who could be assessed to care for your son? This could be on either friends and family on your side or dads.

Here is our advice sheet about care proceedings . It has tips about working with your solicitor.

If you have any questions or need further advice, please post again.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Mum4justice91
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Mum4justice91 » Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:40 am

Well his dad is out the question i been informed last month hes on sex offenders register although he turned up at court i didnt know the extent till 2 days before the court this was the 2nd hearing but i am looking into joining many groups or what ever i can access the judge hasnt ruled out a return but for now she wants to put in long term order

Thank you very much for advice x

Mum4justice91
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Mum4justice91 » Thu Feb 02, 2017 12:17 pm

Also i put my brother down for special guardian ship and even that is being made difficult as judge has said my brother is putting my son before his own which is not the case as he wants the best as do i for my son and my nephew loves the idea of having his cousin living with him they have tried putting my brother off the whole time hes even asked social worker to put him on any course im doing but there using distance and time as am excuse instead of say yes thats fine its been oh you gotta pay and come down from where you are which my brother has voluntered for and hes willing to any thing including attending lac meetings

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1737
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Made out to be a monster

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Feb 08, 2017 2:53 pm

Dear Mum4justice91

Thank you for your further posts.

I see that you have now learnt the extent of the father’s sexual offending history and the fact that he is not being considered as a possible care for your son.

As far as your brother is concerned, if he has agreed to put himself for and to be assessed then he is entitled to be assessed. It may be that the judge commented about him having to consider the position with his own child but I do not think this was to say he could not be assessed. It is for your brother, as part of his assessment, to show how committed he is to providing long term care for his nephew. You do not say how old your brother is, this may be a factor in him taking on another child.

The important thing now is for your brother to engage and cooperate fully with the initial assessment. Please see our guide here about initial viability assessments. There is a requirement that a family member who wishes to be assessed should be assessed to see if a child can remain in the birth family rather than end up in the care system.

Are there any members of the father’s family who is willing to be assessed? You can put forward your family or friends it does not have to be one person but you should get advice from your solicitor about this. If there are other people other than your brother who would be able to provide you with support or might want to be assessed, you could discuss with your solicitor when a family group conference (FGC) would be appropriate for family members or friends on your side and the father’s side if they wish to be involved. Our advice sheet relating to FGC is here for your information.

Children services will also continue to assess you to decide if you are able to parent your son even if this means giving you additional support. This means that children services will be looking at you and anyone else who is a potential long term carer at the same time. This is called twin track planning.

You have already been sent a copy of our advice sheet about care proceedings and I suggest that you read this to give yourself an understanding of the court process.

I have included our advice sheet which gives information about special guardianship orders. Although the advice sheet explains about making an application there is a lot of information about the assessment process and what is expected. I hope you and your brother will find it helpful

Should to wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie


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