Desperate to discharge care order.

Saraheve
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:39 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Saraheve » Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:03 pm

Hi Zoann are you okay. Your not alone. Keep the hope and courage x

Zoeann
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2016 1:23 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Zoeann » Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:13 pm

Hi Saraheve. Been feeling pretty low since court. Missing my babies so so much, it's totally broken my heart. It's so unfair. I will carry on doing everything I can. I will email my solicitor tomorrow and see where we go from here. I just don't understand any of it. Hopefully I can apply to discharge the care orders in June. I so hope so. How are you feeling? Xx

Saraheve
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:39 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Saraheve » Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:52 pm

I know how painful it is? It wears you down but hope gives us courage. I was thinking of writing my son a letter so even if I get my child returned when his a adult he can understand the full circumstances and how I fighted for him.
Im feeling a bit more positive as my solicitor said I can try discharge the order in August. Even though I know social services will try fight against it, which I don't understand if ive addressed all of their concerns and planning to sustain it. I know summer is quite a long way but it's only a few more months and we have already gone through all thease months including Christmas. Thease months gives us a chance to gain more evidence. Just do everything you can and I will to. I hope from the bottom of my heart we both have our babies by next cristmass it will be a big celebration then. Hope gives us courage. We won't give up. I hope you see your children soon. Keep on at ss and let them know you need contact very soon. I wish u the best. I'm one day over due for my pregnancy I was told to forget about my son in foster care and concentrate on my baby. But I can never forget about my son their both important to me. Xx

Zoeann
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2016 1:23 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Zoeann » Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:24 pm

I've wrote to my oldest son numerous times explaining the situation and that I love and miss him and I'm fighting for him and his brother and sister. I'm told SS have given them to him but I wouldn't hold my breath, they've kept him away from me for over a year. We were so close and he was a mummy's boy and now nothing. I have no idea what happens now. I feel so lost and confused and broken. I'm on my own and have no one. I've never been so lonely. I can't imagine waiting until my children are 18 years old to come and find me. They need to come home now. Back to us being a happy healthy family. Not split up and filled their heads with poison. I can't bare it no more xx

twilight1107
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 4:47 pm

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby twilight1107 » Mon Jan 16, 2017 5:48 pm

Hi

I'm going through similar, due to timescales we arn't given the opportunity to show commitment to therapy ect, so my children are to be adopted. (age nearly two and nearly 5) hopefully if they arn't adopted by June then we can apply to a discharged the placement order and show change, show that we carried on with or therapy and answer any questions that we couldn't in December.
It is very sad.

Zoeann
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2016 1:23 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Zoeann » Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:57 pm

Hi Twilight

How awful, you're right they don't give you a chance. Our case went on for a year and my children remained in foster care. The final hearing was early December and now my three children aged 10, 5 and 1 are subject to care orders and remain in long term foster care. I tried repeatedly to access CBT therapy throughout that year with no success as I was attending the freedom programme and wasn't allowed to engage in more then that apparently as it would be too much for me, although I told them it wouldn't be too much. The psychologist assessment determined I had severe depression and anxiety, I'm not sure why they're surprised, they have my children! I am now working full time and funding my own CBT therapy and have a support worker who is giving me counselling for domestic abuse and other issues and is there to support me with any future court hearings. The judge declined me to appeal so I have to now wait until June to apply to discharge the care orders. In the mean time, I will carry on with the therapy and counselling. It is good to talk about everything, I didn't have a great childhood at all and I've never been given the opportunity to talk about it and offload it onto a professional before but it is helping a great deal. I need to learn to let go and stop bottling everything up. I don't accept help very well but I know I have to learn to. I've also done a parenting course as I found it very difficult to set boundaries for my children. Whatever they wanted, they got without earning it. It's just so hard to carry on about your life with your children away from you and only having the opportunity to see them and cuddle them 6 times a year! It's unbearable. I know how you're feeling, we all do. My oldest son has refused to see me for over a year which is so so hard. He's very angry and upset with me for being made to go into care. He blames me and SS won't push him to see me so he can release that anger. It's not good for him nor healthy to bottle it up. I'm the only person he can let that anger out at. He needs professional help and isn't getting it. So worried about him. He's a sensitive and emotional little boy who needs me. They all do. No child should be without their mother. I don't understand why they don't support the families and give them that help so that children can remain with their parents rather then taking them away and giving them to strangers. Especially for no good reason xx

Saraheve
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:39 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Saraheve » Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:42 pm

Hi i just wanted to ask a question I know to discharge a order I need to show substantial and sustainable changes since the last order, but I also need to show this will be in my sons best interests? I was wandering what do the courts judge the child's best interests in. And what is the best way to proove it is in my sons best interests in coming home. He wants to come home very much.

Saraheve
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:39 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Saraheve » Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:07 pm

Hi Suzie I will like to know how the courts determine the best interests of a child.
Thanks

Saraheve
Posts: 103
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:39 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Saraheve » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:55 pm

How are you Zoann ?

Zoeann
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2016 1:23 am

Re: Desperate to discharge care order.

Postby Zoeann » Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:48 am

Hi Saraheve. I'm still struggling and missing my babies. Still keeping busy with work and therapy and have now met my support worker who has offered me counselling. I start with her in a few weeks and is lovely, so hopefully things can start to get moving in the right direction finally! I just constantly think about my children and it's heart breaking. Wondering how the boys are getting on at school, how my little girl is... just goes round and round. I still have no idea when I'm seeing them next. How are you? Any sign of baby yet? And have you had any contact with your little boy? Hope things are going well for you xx


Return to “Do you have a child in care?”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests