Opinions on going without contact

[Spinflight]

Hello,

My children, as of yesterday, are in long term care.

We both fought for them and even thought that being able to prove perjury on the part of the social worker had to help our case, though it seems as though the opposite happened.

Hence the judgement against us actually looks more like a judgement against me and contains so many things which are diametrically opposed to my personality that it is clearly an attempt to make further action impossible. Despite having proof the judge refused to allow me to use tape recorded conversations as evidence and then said that I had lied in his judgement.

Now my wife says I must bend over and continue to fight for them but I know that it is the fact I fought that led to them taking the harshest possible action. I don't believe that I can beat this corrupt and inhuman system.

Hence I have decided not to attend future contacts as I think it would be selfish to do so. Giving my children hope of coming home seems wrong when they have many years ahead of them.

Am I rational in this, has anyone else lost all hope of getting their children back and therefore decided it is better for them to adjust?

Feel free to judge me, though I would prefer responses from people who have actually been in this situation.

[Murray72]

Hi,
I was in this situation and child placed in long term foster care (with no return home envisaged) in 2009, final hearing 2010. I did carry on with contact and it was difficult especially when you are feeling angry,upset and targeted by CS. I think every parent involved in these proceedings can understand how you feel, especially regarding the perjury of the SW, I too experienced this and also with the educational SW at the school who appeared to be wheeled out every time they sought a new finding of fact, until they were proven to be offering mis-leading evidence.

My reasons for continuing the contact were as follows :

I didn't want the child to feel abandoned
It was the only chance I had to prove to my child I did love/care enough to attend the contact and make it consistent
I wanted to dis-prove any crap the FC was telling them, ie: your parents don't care etc etc you can imagine
I explained at every contact it was not my decision for them not to be at home/ I repeated this every contact to drill my message home, SW will tell them it is the Judges decision, blah blah but we all know who provided the evidence (not always factually correct!!)
I wanted to see the children, as difficult as that was in the circumstances

The contact does get easier but it can be a rocky road with highs (wonderful, wonderful highs) and the lows. I hope this helps a little and I don't know how easy it would be to get any contact re-instated if you refuse to attend.

Good LUCK