Removal at birth need advice

Heartbrokenmom1606
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:02 pm

Removal at birth need advice

Post by Heartbrokenmom1606 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 12:52 pm

Bit of a long post but I don't know where to turn so please help and please no judgment!
Basically in 2011 I had care of my 3 children. I was in a bad relationship, they were on a child protection plan due to concerns of neglect, myself not engaging with services. I was severely depressed but didn't know at the time I was 19 with 3 children under 4. I didn't want to engage as I was scared they would take my children I also smoked weed and just couldn't function which they didn't pick up on they just used to turn up as and when to check my home and the children no actual support. My middle daughter then had unexplained injuries to both elbows which I, my partner at the time and my brother who were all involved with them at the time could not explain. We put it down to a fall she had the previous day but when i seen how bad her arms were I immediately rushed her to the hospital where we were accused of it being one of us. They removed my children and took them into the care of my paternal aunt. Still severely depressed which no-one still didn't seem to notice I went through the blur of court proceedings, only 20/21 at the time with no real idea of what was happening. I pretty much rolled over and took it looking back on it all. They found the injuries to be non accidental but could not say which of us 3 it was so we were left in a pool of perpetrators and they call it a Lancashire finding. They recommended that the children were not returned to my care and I was to have 6 visits yearly with them. I knew nothing in regards to appeals or any kind of medical paperwork I could have requested. Like I said I was in a big black pit of depression unable to get out just wanting to end it all I couldn't even attend the final hearing. They continuously failed me, not inviting me to and LAC reviews, keeping me informed of my children's progress ECT. I finally got myself sorted a few years back but by then contact had broken down i was getting none and every time I tried to establish this i fell flat on my face with constant changes in social workers, ignoring all my calls and texts, acting like I hadn't even attempted to try. So now 7 years after they were removed I am in a stable relationship with the partner I had when all this happened, we split at the time but rekindled 3 years back. We are both two different people now, both work full time, more mature. So last July I found out I was expecting. It was a shock as I always said I wouldn't have any more but I had a previous termination when my children were removed for fear of them taking that baby something that goes against all my beliefs! This time I refused to put myself through that again and thought it would be different this time. That they would see the drastic changes I had made in my life and let us be parents to this baby. I self referred at 12 weeks pregnant due to wanting things to get moving quickly as I knew they would want involvement due to my previous children. I heard not a thing until I was 5 months gone where someone came out to initially assess us. It was then left another 2 months before I received a letter stating we had to attend a conference meeting. I was 28 weeks at this time. We attended where I finally received a copy of the initial assessment, something I should have received via post like promised or at least 24 hours prior. It was dropped on me 30 mins before conference was due to start. I got extremely upset as all it said was what happened in the past, none of the positives , by this point we had moved in with my mom in law for support, bought everything our son needed to bring him home no expense spared. We hadn't even a social worker to turn to as one hadn't been allocated. We finally got one allocated 29 weeks into my pregnancy. She was terrible. She has done nothing. No assessments have been done, no pre birth or risk assessments of myself or my partner. She hardly visited and when she did all she wanted to know was why one of us wouldn't admit to injuries we know we didn't cause. We had another conference 3 weeks ago by now I am 36/37 weeks pregnant. I have gone above and beyond to keep them in the loop I write everything down in a diary to keep myself covered I have attended birth prep and breastfeeding workshops along with my partner. My midwife and hv have expressed their concerns for my health and the stress it is causing me and my baby and have been so supportive, they believe there is no concerns and we should be allowed to bring this baby home . The IRO of our conferences also expressed concern as to why I'm 3/4 weeks away from giving birth yet nothing has been done in regards to assessments. She put deadlines on them for them not to be met. The social worker then took it to legal gateway a week later 3 weeks from my due date without any assessments and they recommended an ICO and removal at birth. This has broken my heart as that is the last thing I want i am willing to do anything to keep my baby boy. I am now 3 days overdue, no assessments completed and 2weeks ago the social worker allocated left the social so we were left without a social worker up until 7 days ago. They are still saying removal at birth. Do you think this will stand in court? I am willing to do whatever even if it means a residential 200/300 miles away. Every professional I have involved has said how well myself and partner have engaged with services, how we have both been fully open and honest and gone above and beyond what most pregnant couples do. We both work hard I am currently on maternity leave atm but I have a full time job to go back to and my partner works full time plus overtime. I want to breastfeed also but this has put so much upset on me I've been hospitalised over it. I know when he is born that's when they can take it into court but what do you think will happen? We both have a good solicitor I just worry a judge will only look at the last and not the positive changes we have made over the last 6/7 years. Surely any self respecting judge will say no way without any assessments being done? It's not like I've hidden away from this I referred myself at 3 months pregnant and took it head on to be let down once again. Please please help any advice I will truly be greatful and will answer any questions anyone has. Thank you in advance
P.s there is much more to this in regards to the failings that S.S have done I just didn't want to put it all as the post is already huge but I am willing to add more if needsbe. They know they have failed as I have complained along with my IRO and now they are apologising to me. Not good enough.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2118
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:23 pm

Dear Heartbrokenmom 1606

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your very detailed post that there were significant concerns when you were younger and your children were removed from your care. It appears that you received the help you needed and have worked hard to make changes in your life.

You have reconciled with your partner and you have turned your lives around and made significant changes. It is unfortunate that children’s services (new name for social services) have not managed this case appropriately from what you say in your post. Having taken appropriate action early in your pregnancy to self-refer nothing has been done in relation to pre-birth planning for your baby. It must be very worrying for you that you are now been told that you will not be able to take your baby son home after birth. Please read information from our frequently asked questions about what can happen in situations similar to yours.

It is normally expected that children’s services would start their assessment process at least by 20 plus weeks to reach a decision how to move forward. The fact that your partner and you were in the pool of perpetrators regarding injuries to one of your children means that children’s services are likely to have concerns about your new baby. However, this does not mean they should not carry out assessments of you as you are now. The court did not make an actual finding against any one of you and even if it had, it would still need to assess you at the point you are at now. It is really good that the independent reviewing officer for your other children has registered her concerns about the lack of progress on your case. Our advice sheet about Child protection procedures will give you more information.

If children’s services decide to make an application to the court you would be entitled to legal representation and it is very important that you engage a solicitor as soon as possible. You should also ensure that if there are family or friends on both sides who would be willing to support you and your partner or care for the baby if you cannot, that they are known to children’s services so assessments can be carried. Ask the social worker for a family group conference. See our advice sheet about Family Group Conferences

Children’s services will need to show the court that they have done the required assessments so it might be a good thing for the court to have oversight of what children’s services are doing and give specific directions about when things should be done. Also, it is for them to show that you and your partner cannot safely parent your son and how they have reached that conclusion. Your solicitor will be able to give you more advice about this.

Our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings will provide information about the court process and give you a better understanding of what to expect.

You may wish to have a meeting with the social worker and team manager to discuss what their plan of action is going to be and when they intend to carry out assessments and the type of assessment they intend to carry out.

If you wish to complain about how your case has been managed you can think about making a formal complaint see our advice sheet Challenging decisions and making complaints

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

A123
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:40 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by A123 » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:02 am

I'm going through the same thing I'm on my 3rd sw been in court twice since 30th May baby was born early an went straight in to foster care even when my 3 midwives, cpn even the social worker was on my side with no current concerns I've engaged with all services and then I find out hours before my daughter was born she was going to foster care. The child's gaurdian wants me to undertake a psychological assessment and I'm to have another parenting assessment which hasn't started yet I've also put my mother forward to care for her and the descion needed to be made about her last week but the sw didn't go out to meet my mother till after the date the judge give and I'm still waiting for a detailed copy of the plan of my assessment which is now a week late as court give them till last Wednesday to file a copy

k1212
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by k1212 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:38 pm

please let me know how you both get on im currently in a similar situation im in a 'pool' for bruising on my child in 2012 and am nearly 5 months pregnant and waited for social services to do an assessment and am absolutely terrified they have ruined my pregnancy and every day im filled with anxiety.Please private message me if you want to talk

Heartbrokenmom160690
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:42 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by Heartbrokenmom160690 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 3:05 pm

Hi this was my post but for some reason I can't log in using my previous account. I am currently going through the court process. They took my son 4 days after he was born. I see him 5 times a week at the moment but the social services have done nothing but mess me about. They screwed up their first risk and parenting assessments so we were granted an independent social work assessment. We are waiting for that to start. The social services make empty promises, try to split me and my support network apart with malicious opinions of me. Messed up my contact so many times. Just come out of court again today on a contested hearing to keep my contact at 5 times a week. We won but it's now only 1 and half hours per time. It's gone from 3 hours to 2 hours now 1 and a half as they apparently don't have the resources to do it. Maybe I'm being selfish but I am so upset I have such little contact time. I blink and 1.5 hours are gone! All I can say is do everything they ask, never get angry even though it's so hard, kiss their arses because they hold all the power. I'm lucky to have a guardian I have known many years and she's on side at the moment. We are back at the start of October after these new assessments to see if he's going to be coming home. I don't think I will cope if he doesn't but they have said our parenting is brilliant and all our contacts are perfect they can't fault us they just keep bringing up the past. Really hope things go well for you both x

A123
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:40 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by A123 » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:39 am

Hiya they like bringing up the passed that's why I had my daughter removed they be said my parenting is brilliant but still got got to have another assessment meant to be starting today then I have a psychological assessment in 2 weeks judge granted it in court because the gaurdian is playing he'll with me calling me a lier an all sorts I've had her before an she went against me then. I've had a one to one worker who's told me personal information about herself so I put a complaint in as the work wasn't getting done I'm just to have a new one I've self referred to women's aid again an they going to look to see if there are any safe guarding children courses I can do because I feel I can't show SS I can safe gaurd when my daughter isn't with me I've not been asked to do any course but they are arguing over my injuries from a car accident last year which don't affect me and my mental health which has been stable for nearly 3 years and I was getting discharged from them if I had not have been pregnant, my contact is an hour 4 times a week an I was breast feeding but I've asked if I can have maybe one session in the community so waiting on a descion not back in court till October for the IRH or it could be the final hearing if an agreement is reached by everyone

k1212
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by k1212 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:37 pm

did they say to u that would have a better chance of keeping baby with you if you werent with your partner who is also in the pool with you? were u only told when u went into labour that the baby wouldnt come home with you, this is what im worried about.they havent even started my assesment yet and i was told it would be started early i have bad feeling already

A123
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:40 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by A123 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:39 pm

I've not been In a relationship for 2 years but yes I was told she was going into foster care hours before I had her (i was induced due to complications) and my solicitor phoned me to let me no the plan my parenting assessment only started yesterday an baby is 9 weeks now. My referral went into ss by the midwives earlier I didn't hear off them till nearly 30 weeks and now I'm on my 3rd social worker

SunshineStarRainbow
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:10 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by SunshineStarRainbow » Fri Jul 27, 2018 9:03 pm

Hi Ladies,

I’ve been going through a horrendous ordeal myself; a year ago I lived with my husband and my daughter and my son. My husband was abusive but as far as I was aware back then, only towards me, and as it hadn’t been going on very long I kept hoping for change, I kept making excuses for him and I never once ever imagined I or my children would be where we are now because of him. Last August, because my, now ex, husband wouldn’t get a job I started looking for work and went for a few interviews then got one pretty quickly. I had my first day on the job on the 18th of August, when I came home my baby boy (3 months old) had a bruise on his forehead. I asked what happened and my ex told me he’d bumped his head while bathing him. A week passed and on Friday the 25th, after my son and daughter had been in the sole care of my ex all week, the longest he’d ever cared for them solely, my son died. Obviously my world came crashing down. It was when we were in hospital that day that I learnt that my baby boy also had rib fractures and I obviously had no way of explaining them; I’d had no idea he was hurt until after he died and this has been the most harrowing and devastating 11 months since - I’ve desperately been trying to get justice for my son whilst getting my daughter returned home and, I fell pregnant again during this process (to someone else) and my unborn son is due in a month and SS are ready to pounce. There’s a lot more detail I could go into regarding failings and factual errors on their part etc but I just wanted to comment to let you ladies know about Case Laws; if it has happened once it can happen again. Google Lady Hale in the matter of J (children) (2013). This case involved a woman who went on to be able to take her future children home. If you have legal representation mention it to them, it’s a strong point to make.

I really hope everything works out well for you, and I hope you keep us updated!

Kami2018
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Post by Kami2018 » Fri Jul 27, 2018 9:35 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your poor baby boy my god how sad I'm cryjng my eyes out

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