My 6 year old daughters father and i spilt up the day i found out i was pregnant because he was violent and abusive.
I have soley looked after her all her life whilst he saw her saturday evenings as and when it suited him, ie if the lads wernt out on the town.
Since i got married a year ago things have turned nasty with the father, in october last year after a few heated arguments between my husband and my daughters father. The father started court proceeding against me and made up a pack of lies.
He said my daughter was unclean smelt and looked like she hadnt been bathed for several days - I went into school and they provided a report that condradicted this it read she is clean always smartly dressed and doing extremely well academicaly.
He said i was an alcoholic and always had been even when i was in a relationship with him and that was causing my daughters needs to be neglected - if i was an alcoholic why didnt he the moment my daughter was born start court proceedings (not leave it 6 years) i work FT in a GP surgery and also i had a liver function test that was completely normal, and have completed child protection courses through work.
He said that my husband was beating me up and there would be police records to support this - police checks done on all parties. It resulted in no records with regards to me and my husband but 14 seperate incidents between him and his partner 3 of which involved my daughter being present and social services referrals done by the police that SS decided not to investigate or tell me because she didnt live with her father.
My husband got a caution for underage sex when he was a teenager 15 yrs ago the father is now is saying that he a danger towards children and has been made to leave the home.
I am banging my head against a brick wall with SS at present. The initial assessment took 3 months and only after a got local MP to get involved did i receive a copy. The court ordered a section 7 report to be completed i was told this was being allocated to a new SS worker on the 20th March yet when my daughter wasnt returned to me (even tho i court order is in place) on the 3rd April and i rang SS for help, that day it got allocated. My husband has done nothing but care, support finicially and emotionally and love my little girl to bits, yes he made a mistake when he was a teenager but the girl in question had lied about her age and later went to the police and told them this. Everything i do falls on deaf ears, i have been made to run around and supply evidence to disprove the fathers lies, yet his record is there loud and proud and has been brushed under the carpet. HELP!!!!
Daughters fathers lies
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Hi Denise
My name is Suzie, I’m an advisor here at Family Rights Group. I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your daughter, it sounds really stressful.
I am a little unclear about the situation though – you say your daughter’s father is taking you to court for residence, and Children’s Services are doing a “Section 7” report (to give the court advice about your daughter’s well being). But you also mention Children’s Services doing an “initial assessment”. I’m not sure if this is because they have their own involvement with your family (for example, though Child Protection?) or whether their involvement in limited to preparing the Section 7 report.
If Children’s Services are involved with your family, then perhaps you could say how, and I could try and give you some advice. But if the involvement is limited to preparing the Section 7 report, then I am afraid probably the best person to speak to is your solicitor. You can discuss all those questions about evidence that you raise here with your solicitor, such as the allegations against your partner and you made by your daughter’s father. We don’t advise on Residence Order disputes ourselves, we just advise on Children’s Services. I’m also not clear why your daughter is not living with you now – again, if this is down to a decision by Children’s Services, we could try to give you some advice. But if it’s because your daughter’s father got an “interim” (temporary) residence order in court, or is ignoring one that you got, you need to discuss this with your solicitor.
Please feel free to post again, or call us and speak to an advisor.
All the best,
Suzie
My name is Suzie, I’m an advisor here at Family Rights Group. I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your daughter, it sounds really stressful.
I am a little unclear about the situation though – you say your daughter’s father is taking you to court for residence, and Children’s Services are doing a “Section 7” report (to give the court advice about your daughter’s well being). But you also mention Children’s Services doing an “initial assessment”. I’m not sure if this is because they have their own involvement with your family (for example, though Child Protection?) or whether their involvement in limited to preparing the Section 7 report.
If Children’s Services are involved with your family, then perhaps you could say how, and I could try and give you some advice. But if the involvement is limited to preparing the Section 7 report, then I am afraid probably the best person to speak to is your solicitor. You can discuss all those questions about evidence that you raise here with your solicitor, such as the allegations against your partner and you made by your daughter’s father. We don’t advise on Residence Order disputes ourselves, we just advise on Children’s Services. I’m also not clear why your daughter is not living with you now – again, if this is down to a decision by Children’s Services, we could try to give you some advice. But if it’s because your daughter’s father got an “interim” (temporary) residence order in court, or is ignoring one that you got, you need to discuss this with your solicitor.
Please feel free to post again, or call us and speak to an advisor.
All the best,
Suzie
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denise1981
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:17 am
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Hi Suzie
Thanks for the reply.
The father was going for an iterim residence order just after xmas but he did not achieve this.
The father then spoke to SS and gave them a list of allegations about me and my husband so they came out and saw us on 3 occasions and spoke to my daughter alone and were quite happy with all the information that was gathered from me my daughter my husband school and school nurse, they then closed the case, this was done on the 20th janruary i received the report 26th march, and not at any stage did they inform me about the referrals made by the police to ss whilst my daughter was with her father, i found this out when i received the report. This disturbed me as my daughter had been known to ss since 2008 without my knowledge and i was continuing to send her to her fathers and putting her in danger, there were mention of alcohol drugs a stabbing things been chucked at each other while holding my daughter, concerns raised about the safety of the child all documented in police reports.
During the court process it is the judge that has ordered SS to do the section 7 report as cafcass said they would only be doubling up on the work SS had already done and although the judge is heading more towards now allowing my husband to see my daughter from reading the initial assessment report he still wants SS to write to him in order for that direction to be removed or will have to wait till june when they have finished the S7 report.
I had to go back to court to get my daughter back which went extremely well on my part as this was the first time the judge saw the initial assessment and my daughter had been spoken to honestly and directly and SS had wrote it up very well including every word she said and her feelings, which the judge took on board and the access the father was wanting was ridiculous every w/e fri-sun and tues overnight every holiday lol. Lookily the judge sided with me and access was changed in my favour,
Am just looking for a bit of advice how to get SS working with us as a family and need there help to put my family back together so we can get on with our lives.
Thanks for the reply.
The father was going for an iterim residence order just after xmas but he did not achieve this.
The father then spoke to SS and gave them a list of allegations about me and my husband so they came out and saw us on 3 occasions and spoke to my daughter alone and were quite happy with all the information that was gathered from me my daughter my husband school and school nurse, they then closed the case, this was done on the 20th janruary i received the report 26th march, and not at any stage did they inform me about the referrals made by the police to ss whilst my daughter was with her father, i found this out when i received the report. This disturbed me as my daughter had been known to ss since 2008 without my knowledge and i was continuing to send her to her fathers and putting her in danger, there were mention of alcohol drugs a stabbing things been chucked at each other while holding my daughter, concerns raised about the safety of the child all documented in police reports.
During the court process it is the judge that has ordered SS to do the section 7 report as cafcass said they would only be doubling up on the work SS had already done and although the judge is heading more towards now allowing my husband to see my daughter from reading the initial assessment report he still wants SS to write to him in order for that direction to be removed or will have to wait till june when they have finished the S7 report.
I had to go back to court to get my daughter back which went extremely well on my part as this was the first time the judge saw the initial assessment and my daughter had been spoken to honestly and directly and SS had wrote it up very well including every word she said and her feelings, which the judge took on board and the access the father was wanting was ridiculous every w/e fri-sun and tues overnight every holiday lol. Lookily the judge sided with me and access was changed in my favour,
Am just looking for a bit of advice how to get SS working with us as a family and need there help to put my family back together so we can get on with our lives.
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denise1981
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:17 am
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Also just wanted to clarify what there policies should be when receiving a referral, if the child is not with the main carer, should i have been informed as the childs mother especially when further referrals where made.
Should i have been left waiting for the report so long seems only when the local MP got on the phone was it done.
Why wasnt it allocated on the 20th March to do the S7 report it was left over 2 weeks only when i phoned them when she wasnt returned home did it get allocated that day then arrangements were made to come and see me.
I have been kept in the dark very much, and am beginning to feel really scared of SS because of comments on here and papers about the attitude and lack of understanding of these people who are supposed to be there to help families.
Do you think i have grounds for complaint or do you think this will get there back up and make my life more difficult than it already is at the moment.
Should i have been left waiting for the report so long seems only when the local MP got on the phone was it done.
Why wasnt it allocated on the 20th March to do the S7 report it was left over 2 weeks only when i phoned them when she wasnt returned home did it get allocated that day then arrangements were made to come and see me.
I have been kept in the dark very much, and am beginning to feel really scared of SS because of comments on here and papers about the attitude and lack of understanding of these people who are supposed to be there to help families.
Do you think i have grounds for complaint or do you think this will get there back up and make my life more difficult than it already is at the moment.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Hi Denise
Thanks for coming back with more info. From what you have said, children’s services current role for your family is only to provide a section 7 report for the courts RE: contact between your daughter and her biological Dad. They have no current concerns that your daughter is “in need” or at risk of harm in your care.
There has, however, been historical involvement by children’s services, which has not been satisfactory. You are wondering whether to complain about this.
Children’s services completed an assessment of your family in January- it is likely that this was an initial assessment. The result of this assessment was that children’s services had no concerns about your daughter and the case was closed.
Government guidance makes it clear that children’s services should work co-operatively with families throughout their assessment processes and should share all relevant information with them. You should have received a copy of the completed assessment at an early stage- certainly at the point that the case was closed. It would be reasonable for you to complain about the delay you experienced in getting a copy of this report.
You have also become aware that children’s services were contacted by the police RE: concerns about your daughter when she was in her father’s care on a number of occasions. Children’s services decided not to investigate these concerns further and did not inform you.
It may be that, as children’s services decided at the initial stage that your daughter was not at risk of harm from these incidents, they concluded that it would breach your ex partner’s confidentiality to disclose details of them to you. Given the nature of the referrals, however, and the fact that there were more than one, I would question how children’s services reached the decision to take no further action. I would also see it as relevant to inform you, as a parent with parental responsibility and your daughter’s main carer of the referrals and the outcome of these. Again, I feel that it is valid for you to question this and/ or complain.
I would advise you to think about the best time to raise your concerns with children’s services regarding these historical issues, however. Your priority now is to resolve the problem of your daughter’s contact with her father. My feeling is that making a complaint now may simply complicate things unless the points you wish to address will have a specific bearing on the current proceedings. It may be best to wait until the contact proceedings are completed and then request your daughter’s file in order to focus on making a detailed complaint about all of the issues you are unhappy with. I would suggest that you discuss this with your solicitor and seek their view about the most effective way forward.
I hope this is helpful Denise. You may find it useful to read through our advice sheets about Access to records and Complaints for further information.
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The one issue that I remain unclear about is regarding your husband. You mention that he moved out of your family home due to concerns related to when he was a teenager. Is he still living separately from you? Hopefully this is now resolved but, if he is still living away from you, I wonder who has made this decision or is advising this? Do let me know if this is still an issue as I may be able to advise you further about this.
Best Wishes Denise
Suzie
FRG Adviser
Thanks for coming back with more info. From what you have said, children’s services current role for your family is only to provide a section 7 report for the courts RE: contact between your daughter and her biological Dad. They have no current concerns that your daughter is “in need” or at risk of harm in your care.
There has, however, been historical involvement by children’s services, which has not been satisfactory. You are wondering whether to complain about this.
Children’s services completed an assessment of your family in January- it is likely that this was an initial assessment. The result of this assessment was that children’s services had no concerns about your daughter and the case was closed.
Government guidance makes it clear that children’s services should work co-operatively with families throughout their assessment processes and should share all relevant information with them. You should have received a copy of the completed assessment at an early stage- certainly at the point that the case was closed. It would be reasonable for you to complain about the delay you experienced in getting a copy of this report.
You have also become aware that children’s services were contacted by the police RE: concerns about your daughter when she was in her father’s care on a number of occasions. Children’s services decided not to investigate these concerns further and did not inform you.
It may be that, as children’s services decided at the initial stage that your daughter was not at risk of harm from these incidents, they concluded that it would breach your ex partner’s confidentiality to disclose details of them to you. Given the nature of the referrals, however, and the fact that there were more than one, I would question how children’s services reached the decision to take no further action. I would also see it as relevant to inform you, as a parent with parental responsibility and your daughter’s main carer of the referrals and the outcome of these. Again, I feel that it is valid for you to question this and/ or complain.
I would advise you to think about the best time to raise your concerns with children’s services regarding these historical issues, however. Your priority now is to resolve the problem of your daughter’s contact with her father. My feeling is that making a complaint now may simply complicate things unless the points you wish to address will have a specific bearing on the current proceedings. It may be best to wait until the contact proceedings are completed and then request your daughter’s file in order to focus on making a detailed complaint about all of the issues you are unhappy with. I would suggest that you discuss this with your solicitor and seek their view about the most effective way forward.
I hope this is helpful Denise. You may find it useful to read through our advice sheets about Access to records and Complaints for further information.
.
The one issue that I remain unclear about is regarding your husband. You mention that he moved out of your family home due to concerns related to when he was a teenager. Is he still living separately from you? Hopefully this is now resolved but, if he is still living away from you, I wonder who has made this decision or is advising this? Do let me know if this is still an issue as I may be able to advise you further about this.
Best Wishes Denise
Suzie
FRG Adviser
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denise1981
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:17 am
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Yes at the moment he is still living seperately, this has been advised by the court. It has also been advised that if Children Services write and inform the court that they do not consider by husband to be a danger it will be listed for hearing within 48 hours. The social working involved in the initial assessment informed me verbally that even though my husband has a criminal record for under age sex 15 yrs ago when he was himself a teenager that they did not consider him a danger towards children. This is what is frustrating they have not got any concerns from there involvement with me and my husband and are happy that my daughter is safe healthy and thriving yet they seem to be reluctant to help us, it seems they are only interested in doing the S7 report and are not prepared to see the bigger picture. Not having my husband with us for over 3 months now is confusing my daughter she asks when he is coming home daily and i dont know how to get through to them how important this is to us as a family. When the first SW spoke to my daughter regarding my husband she said some lovely heart warming things about him that were put in the report and again the judge said he felt more relaxed about removing the direction that my husband has no contact but again wanted Children Services to write and confirm this and to date the have not. Any advice would be greatfully appreciated.
Just a quick note my daughter is still having regular contact with her father throughout these proceedings he says he has had counselling for his DV incidents and children services seem to have just excepted this to be true with no evidence to support it.
Just a quick note my daughter is still having regular contact with her father throughout these proceedings he says he has had counselling for his DV incidents and children services seem to have just excepted this to be true with no evidence to support it.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Daughters fathers lies
Hi denise (1981)
Has the judge directed an addendum section 7 report, is filed by Children's Services, to specifically comment on the contact issue. You will find confirmation of this in the court directions of the last hearing. If so, the Local Authority are legally obliged to comply with this, and any timescales around filing it?
Best Wishes
Suzie
Has the judge directed an addendum section 7 report, is filed by Children's Services, to specifically comment on the contact issue. You will find confirmation of this in the court directions of the last hearing. If so, the Local Authority are legally obliged to comply with this, and any timescales around filing it?
Best Wishes
Suzie
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