Child protection

[HOPE43]

Don't know what to do,
My kids are under child protection for just under a year due to concerns over my mental health and my ability to cope with the children and also my ex husbands hostile, verbal and emotional abusive relationship towards me.
Children's services are now saying they don't believe there has been as much improvement as I say there has been over my parenting and have advised my abusive ex to go for full custody. As they know I will fight it in court they are now putting in a referral for my parenting to be observed and assessed over a 4-6 period.
My question is
Surely just because the kids don't always go to bed on time (they are 10 and 13) and maybe don't always listen and do as I say like any other family household how can they say I'm not caring for my kids and they are better off with their dad ?

[Minnie]

Hi

I have had similar for the last 4 months,the children are in care because the social worker is saying I'm unable to parent my children adequately as the lack boundaries,consequences and the lack of parental presence. They have also said that I haven't protected the girls from emotional harm. They came off the register earlier this year and they issued care proceedings in January. I'm almost 8 weeks in the process,everything is looking positive for me. I would advise getting some advice from women's aid,I have attended the freedom program and have an advocate as well to provide support.
The children's father is trying to portray himself as he isn't the problem and that I am. This was working until he wrote 9 page document about me and how awful I was. It was supposed to be about the children.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Hope43

My name is Suzie, one of FRG’s advisers. Welcome to the parents’ board.

You have stated that your children are under a Child Protection Plan firstly because of concerns about your mental health and your ability to cope with the parenting of your children. You then go on to state that your ex-husband’s aggressive presentation has been raised as a concern by the professional network.

Your post indicates that your relationship with the children’s father has now ended, and you are no longer together. Therefore, providing you have engaged with recommended support services to keep you and the children safe, then any assessments being undertaken should reflect these protective factors.

Would it be possible to say a little bit more about the contents of the child protection plan and the required changes you are expected to make and the timescale for these changes to take place. This may help you to see if there is anything else you can do demonstrate an improvement in your parenting capacity and request additional support that may be required.

Are you currently being supported by the Community Mental Health Team or any other agency who may be monitoring your mental health and do you feel able to follow through with any recommendations that are being made?

As you have two teenage children is there anything specific about their needs or behaviour that is presently causing additional concern? For instance, are there certain aspects of your children's behaviour which has deemed them to be particularly vulnerable or are have they been assessed as placing themselves at risk outside the home?

Perhaps you could get a trusted family member, friend or advocate who is able to explore what else you are required to or what other support could be offered to see if things can improve. It is possible that an independent parenting assessment could help you to view any contract of expectations (if this is in place) through a fresh lens.

If you ex-partner is about to make a private law application you may wish to contact Rights of Women who may be able to assist you at this time.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie