I am a sex offender father please help me

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Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: I am a sex offender father please help me

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Wed Oct 04, 2017 10:46 pm

@Helpless. The situation with your son smacks of the great witch hunt more than anything else I have read or experienced on the child protection front, which is a heck of a lot. Absolutely sickening and exasperating that your son be denied his job for this, despite a plethora of obviously good and safe background material, and more vicious and ridiculous still that your guardianship might be barred on account of him.
I know my rants on here probably do little good and don't help anybody's depression over these issues, but honestly it is time the staff on this site stop wholesale condoning of Children's Services and the rest of the Child Protection brigade's behaviour. Nobody is supporting child abuse here, and those of us who have committed offences are most of us deeply sorry for it, but frankly the measures taken under the banner of 'safeguarding' are so often oppressive and indeed abusive to children on account of families ripped apart. Say it, please. The world has gone mad: social hysteria indeed, as Helpless says.
This cases raises an interesting and very important question: I wonder if almost ANY random and innocent person's internet device was subjected to the police hi-tec investigation process (for the usual 9-12 months it takes), they would all throw up a so-called 'indicative' search term or two. Bet it would - anybody's, because the bar of suspicion and safety is set so insanely high.

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Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: I am a sex offender father please help me

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Wed Oct 04, 2017 11:27 pm

Good news indeed re. Ilseycat. There is hope you and your partner can build a family life, ultimately without an oppressive degree of state interference if you do as told to the letter. Still, I find it difficult to trust them, so capricious callous and disorganized they can be. But they've totally covered their backs for now, safeguarding their precious careers, so they are happy. Please update us at your next review.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I am a sex offender father please help me

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Oct 11, 2017 4:25 pm

Dear PerfectlySafeDad

In response to your recent post you in which you state ‘it is time the staff on this site stop wholesale condoning of Children's Services and the rest of the Child Protection brigade's behaviour’. I do not consider this to be the case at all.

The parents’ discussion board is provided by Family Rights Group to provide a platform for parents to provide help and support to other who have been in similar situations to themselves. Your posts have in some instances been helpful but in this particular post and in some previous posts you have alluded to the fact that advice given on the discussion forum is condoning or taking a less than impartial position.

Children’s services as with all other professional working with children have a legal duty to safeguard children. Everyone is responsible to ensure children are safeguarded. On this forum, I endeavour to provide advice which will assist parents’ in understanding the concerns children’s services might have regarding risks to children in their care. It is important that parents have a clear understanding and insight into the concerns that children’s services or other professionals may have regarding their children.

Advice can only be provided on the basis of the details posted on the forum and, as such, the advice given relates that information since posters, including Suzie, do not have the whole picture and children’s services will be looking at everything as a whole.

A response was provided to Helpless on whose post you appear to base the comments in your post. There is a legal framework for child protection enquiries and children’s services should always be willing to work with a family to ensure that a child can remain in the family if that is in the child’s best interests. If a parent or anyone else who is caring for a child cannot shows the necessary insight and is child focussed, then children’s services’ actions have to be taken in line with the legal framework within which they operate. If one parent is willing and able to keep a child safe and engage cooperatively with children’s services to achieve the best outcome for the child then this will be the parent children’s services will continue to work with and support.

Advice is not judgemental nor is blame apportioned in posts. The advice is given in respect of the law and procedures to which children’s services and other professionals should adhere. If children’s services or other professionals act inappropriately or outside the law the responses to posts always reflect this.

From posts on the forum there are a number of situations where families have been able to work with children’s services to find a way forward even if there has been abuse of the kind you refer to in your posts. The key is to fully understand and accept that the child’s wellbeing is the focus. This might result in a parent having only supervised contact but that too is dependent on that parent’s ability to be child centred rather than considering their own needs above those of the child to be in a safe and risk free environment.

I do hope that you will be able to understand the purpose of the discussion forum is provide helpful support to other parents who are in quite distressed and upsetting situations.

Should you wish to discuss your own situation with an adviser, you can of course telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes


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Re: I am a sex offender father please help me

Postby illseycat » Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:21 am


Everything still seems to be pointing towards my partner still being able to live at home after the birth of our baby boy.
We have done everything that is expected of us (and more) - one thing we have been asked to do is a Family Group Conference - I have looked at the information on this website but wondered if anybody had experience on these?

My parents are aware of the situation - (well to the level they need to know) and I feel if I say they should come to the family group conference then it will drag them further into this than they need to be.

We are currently looking to have:
Myself, my partner, my partners mum, my partners sister, my partners grandmother and my best friend as these are the immediate family members that live close and can help on the supervision front. My parents don't live local so I would only be visiting them with the baby - my partner would never be in the situation where he alone with baby and my parents. However I don't want child services to take this as I don't want them involved, its more protecting them from all of it as its a pretty distressing situation as it is!

They would be more than happy to comply with the safety plan we put in place but to bring them into the meeting situation.

Has anybody had experience of this?

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