You constantly talk about yourself and how you are the victim. To mr it reads like you blame everyone but yourself for what has happened and there is very little remorse for what you have done or little understanding of the impact it has had on your ex-wife or children (beyond the offending). You seem to think your offences should be forgotten about because you wouldn't offend against your own children.PerfectlySafeDad wrote:Foreigner, I'm a bit confused why you would disagree with 'the way I see myself' after the experiences you and your partner have had with social services on this topic.
You express faith in your partner, that you don't believe he would harm the kids, and you rightly point out it's a tyranny when they dogmatically don't let you go this.
I presume you mean you don't regard me as a 'perfectly safe dad', yet you don't know even know me. You have never seen the way I lived for the first 10 years of my children's lives with utterly normal love and care for them, before being surgically removed from their lives because of what I 'might do' or even more nebulously - 'might be thinking'. This is the nub of it, though, isn't it? You 'don't know'. So, in other words, what you really mean is that you think I MIGHT BE A RISK. You can't possibly be in a position to say I 'am' a risk, or I 'am unsafe'. Sorry if it seems I'm getting at you, but my point is that this is how social services think, and they wield great power on that basis. Yet they have much less excuse than you for caution, because they indeed do have the facts of my history with my boys and the completed police investigation and charges that demonstrate no incidents in any contact offence with anybody let alone my own kids. That's as far as you can get to 'proving' someone is 'safe' in a certain situation. To still hold the offender a risk to own kids is saying that one crime equals another, and is tantamount to a false accusation assumed guilty instead of the centuries old British principle of assumed innocent until proven otherwise.
You state a 'nagging doubt' about your own partner: May I suggest that has been put there by precisely this mania in our society as spearheaded by the likes of social services and the media.
Society seems to always need its bogeymen and pariahs. If it's not one group, it's another, until society moves on and better understands with fair and appropriate research, and the proof of the pudding in that more and more ex offenders are seen to not relapse and certainly not harm their own kids (both things actually being the norm), but instead public opinion and fear is moulded by hysterical publication of the most nasty, rare and high profile cases like Ian Huntly and Savile, whilst the Feminazis inflate the significance and impact of the slightest improprieties. It's very sad. Especially as cases like Huntley and Baby P would not have happened if social services were channelling their resources sensibly, but instead they respond brutally and simplistically by pulling the reigns tighter on any 'sign' they see as a risk, instead of focusing on the obvious and proven.
You have a lot of anger towards CS for not allowing contact with your children and you drag statistics out about how sex offenders rarely reoffend. This may be true but its not relevant to your case they are evaluating you and not other sex offenders.
The fact you won't recognise this and think its a witch hunt against you personally added to your lack of understanding of the impact of your offences (based on what i read from your posts) I can clearly see where Foreigner is coming from.
example safe dad I'm sorry but the way you talk and your understanding of the impact of your offence will get you nowere sometimes harsh words are needed from a outsider so I guess that's me ..I can't tolerate u blaming CS for just doing thier jobs and taking no risk and I'm also saying I can't imagine how it's feels they are simply doing there jobs and they have rules they must follow by law ... n I also understand that some social workers can be tricky and some will assess you on the way there own minds are set rather then what's on paper I don't doubt it can't be easy but to me you simple show no remorse I want to ask you a question would you be like this if u were not caught would you have seaked help before being caught for your crime ...but now your caught you think because of human rights act the world has to take risk to suit you that's simple not the case it's you in my opinion that owes the world by taking responsibility for taking the actions you took to me I have given you advice harshly bit brutally honest