Urgant social report is wrong

absoffice
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Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:27 am

Urgant social report is wrong

Post by absoffice » Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:50 pm

Hi,
I am really worried about my little girl as her father is very emotionally abusive and social services are involved with our custody, i have residential order and phobideded steps but they are doing a child protection and they say that we are fighting and if we continue they are taking care proceedings, I am not fighting with him he has called police and telling all lies that i am not doing but they wont listen
he delibratley puts the phone down and says that i'm stopping him from talking to him and shouting abuse at him, and i'm not but they insist that i am and there listening to what ever rubbish he is saying
i feel as thought i have to prove that i'm inocent
because they have written this report which is all wrong they have power in court and judge is listening to them. I tried telling them that they are playing right into his hands as he would rather they take her into care than be with me, he is manipulating her when he does talk by telling her she will be with him soon etc I have tried recording calls but the important ones didn't record, He has threatened me in the street and the police wont do anything. I will try and get a non-moletsatuion order but this is still a problem with socials report. they seam to have already made their mind up that were both no good and i'm having a real hard time after all we been through it's never ending
Please could you advise and is there someone higher than social that would help? Is cafcass?

Regards

Abs

Edited by Suzie to remove name and replaced with screen ID.

ange301126
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Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by ange301126 » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:42 am

dear abs, I advise you as I am sure the FRG will, to go and see a solicitor immediately .
I also advise you to discuss the situation with members of your family immediately ,get their support because NOW is the time you will need all you can get. You have already had a taste of what the social workers are capable of and they will walk all over you if you let them. You cannot handle them alone even if they want to help you but if they already have the wrong idea of you due to your boyfriend or other malicious gossip then you will find it even harder. Remember that they do not have to PROVE anything to the Court.They only have to express concerns which give rise to a possibility that your child is at future 'risk' and they will, basically,get any order they want at Court.If you have any problems at home this can easily be used to suggest risk to the child.Anything can.
Once they have decided you are a bad person then it is hard to get them to listen to you.See your mum,dad,brothers and sisters and, if necessary, move the child and yourself in with one of them.If the Police cannot or will not protect you from this man, then your family will do so and also they can help you tackle the social workers. As a last resort they can provide a home for you and the baby and keep the man away from you both.Social workers then cannot turn round and say you are unable to protect the child. ACT POSITIVELY IMMEDIATELY because if you go along with the flow and trust social workers events can easily overtake you.
I hope this advice helps.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:38 pm

Dear Abs,
I am sorry to hear that you and your daughter are having such a difficult time.

I am worried that you are suffering domestic abuse caused by your daughters father. Whilst this continues children’s services will be concerned about your daughter-both physically-she may get hurt if your partner should hurt you and emotionally she could be harmed by seeing her mother upset, injured etc, feeling fear herself. This can have long term serious health consequences for your daughter.

You need to seek urgent support for you and your daughter. Please consider calling the 24 hour helpline at women’s aid here.
womens aid
They should outline what support could be available to you-including:
• fleeing from your child’s father and being re- housed in a refuge away from your child’s father
• an advocate to help you get support
• Counselling.
• Explain how contact between your daughter and her father can take place without you being involved.
I am worried that the prohibited steps order is not protecting you and your daughter from domestic abuse. -Your child’s father continues to breach it without there being any consequences for him-such as a return to court or for the police to arrest him. Can you speak urgently to your solicitor about how the order could be enforced? Is there a power of arrest attached?
If you do not have a solicitor you should find one who specialises in “children law” and who is also on the children panel. Look at the law society find a solicitor here
law society


You say that children’s services (new name for social services) are involved. For me to give you advice about them can you answer the following? I will respond as soon as I can.
Are children services carrying out a child protection investigation?
Has there been a child protection conference and if so, is there a child protection plan?
What did the social worker say about care proceedings? Have they made a decision to go to court?
Have you signed any written agreement?
What support are they providing for you in relation to the break up with your daughters father?
Here is our advice sheet about child protection which sets out what happens when they are concerned about your child.
child protection
Here is our advice sheet about care proceedings

care proceedings
Best wishes,

Suzie

Edited by Suzie to remove name and replaced with screen ID.

absoffice
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Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:27 am

Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by absoffice » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:42 pm

Thanks for your reply's yes they are doing a child protection program and they said that they are going to court for care proceedings. if i was to live with my mother would i have to still take her to see her dad the court say he can have her every other weekend and he can ring. my freind is taking me to get a non-molistation order next week, and i shall have more words with my solicitor tommorrow. i am confused as what i should do without braking the law

Thanks

absoffice
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:27 am

Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by absoffice » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:24 pm

suzie,
also ss hasn't offered me any help whatsoever with getting away from him they think were just as bad as each other because i lost my temper at the end of our relationship and smashed his car in which i been to court for. so they insist were just fighting and shes suffering from emotional abuse and neglect because were not doing what they say, its impossible he is manipulating her putting phone down and saying that im not letting him talk to her and that i'm souting abuse down phone and im not
he called police said i hit her and then he told her to tell everyone that i hit her. so she did she has even said daddy told me to tell them and that is written in ss reports also that she sleeps in his bed with him naked they didnt like that so agreed with me that he shouldnt have overnight visits i have been going to court to try to get supervised visits so he cant manipulator anymore and thats when she said she needs to see her and if he is giving her emotional abuse then later when shes older she will realise. i told ss he has been emotionally abusive to me so he will be to her and he doesnt love her or he wouldnt do all these things he sits there and plans what he can do next he cant be trusted he lies he needs control. 2 weeks ago i text him saying she didnt want to talk to him and i filmed her he told ss saying it was me and he text me saying he would see me at school next day he met me outside and threatened me saying my face was going to get cut up so im unreconisable and my mum and this would happen within 3 months. police said they cant do anything unless i filmed it and do i beleive that he would? i told school teacher as i was so upset and solicitor who seem also useless

please answer what if i go to my mums? as first reply above this

much appreciated
best regards
abs xx

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:02 pm

Hi Abs,

On the basis of the most recent threat he made to you then I recommend you get back in touch with your solicitor and push the urgency of applying for a non-molestation order. Also make Children’s Services aware of the threat he made to you. I know you said the police aren’t willing to take any action at this stage but make sure that you have reported the incident and get a crime reference number. Make sure you keep a record of this. I cannot advise you further about this as it is not our area of expertise but your solicitor can give you further advice.

Likewise regarding the contact, you really need to speak to your solicitor. If dad has a contact order to see your daughter it doesn’t matter where you live, he still has an order to say he can see her. Please speak to your solicitor about the specific terms of the orders.

Please can you also the additional questions, my colleague asked in our last post so we can give you specific advice.

Best wishes

Suzie

absoffice
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Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:27 am

Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by absoffice » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:53 pm

Hi Suzie
In answer to questions
Are children services carrying out a child protection investigation? Yes they have carried our report and we had core meetings
Has there been a child protection conference and if so, is there a child protection plan? yes we had a conference
What did the social worker say about care proceedings? after the conference when we were at my contact order, they said to the judge were fighting and seam to continue which is not any good for d*** and they would be applying for a court hearing, but at the same time the judge said about having parenting classes
Have they made a decision to go to court? think they will apply
Have you signed any written agreement? no i haven't signed anything
What support are they providing for you in relation to the break up with your daughters father? no support and they wont listen to me when i tell that he is lying and i told them about the threat she said that i done the right thing in calling police, yes i have a crime number.
the contact order is in my name and states when he is allowed to see her and call 3 times week
so people like above and police tell me why don't i just move away and i can't because of the contact order by the court i am not allowed to breach and also the social say that i must not record calls which i have been for evidence and i have to go upstairs away when he call her
why should he be allowed to manipulate and lies
thanks
abs

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:07 pm

Dear Abs
Just a few points to make here: first, as you have a child protection plan, make sure you raise with your social worker and core group the issues around the domestic violence, and the support you need addressing that. Second, as we said earlier, please do get in touch with Women’s Aid or another domestic violence support group. Third, please do discuss the threats of violence with your solicitor. Finally, if the social worker is going to start care proceedings to remove your child from your care, you need to see a family law solicitor immediately. The solicitor you have for the criminal matter may not practice family law, so you may need two different solicitors.

I hope this is helpful.
All the best,
Suzie

absoffice
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Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:27 am

Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by absoffice » Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:04 pm

Hi suzie
I have told the social about my abuse and the threats and they offer no help they insist that i'm just arguing and not following the protection plan, part of the plan is he telephones daily and he put the phone down and says that i am putting it down and he said i was shouting abuse and i'm not
when he is on phone he keeps saying the same stuff to her telling her to tell teachers and social that im hurting her and when he attacked me he told them i was abusive and he told police i was abusive He just turns everything around to me. i have got a family solicitor who is away untill monday but tommorrow i am getting all police reports and seeing the abusive team to ask them and i am taking evidence to get a non-molestation order myself with my freind for support direct with courts next week, the child contact court is set for 8th march and protection review 12th march
i have had 6 years of abuse with this nutter and fedup with his lies why does he get away with it and everyone beleives him, the social have posters of abuse on their walls and wont help yet i tried to contact them several times and social women just said that i'd contacted them when i wasn't with him so they wouldn't do anything thats stupid thats when women try to get away from these men and need help, then she contraindicated herself and said if little one is getting emotional abuse from him she would realise when shes older and she can make her own mind up. Yet they say there concerned for her mental state but its him thats doing it, he constantly said to her that she would be with him in 3 more sleeps and kept saying it and he's not due to have her untill next week, when he threatened me it was in front of her so why are they not concerned about that, they have already made their mind up that i'm bad and they believe him so i'm fighting a battle with everyone. if he does kill me or cuts me up soon then would they realise then?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Urgant social report is wrong

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:40 pm

Hi Abs

Thank you for your post.

Sorry for the difficulties that you are experiencing at the current time.

May I refer to Suzie’s previous posts.

Non Molestation Order with powers of arrest

I am glad that you are seeing a solicitor to ensure you and your daughter’s safety. If you have not done so already, this needs to happen without any further delay. You may wish to consider taking out a Non Molestation Order with powers of arrest, which is an option that can be used in emergency domestic abuse situations. However, the non molestation will only protect you if it is used properly.

This means, you must call the police, when you suspect the first sign of danger from your ex-partner towards you both. Keep a record of any direct face to face, phone or text contacts. If there is any indirect contact, or attempts by a 3rd party to intimidate or harass you, it is important that you let the police, your solicitor and the social worker know about all of this.

Either way, your solicitor will be able to advise you on your parental responsibility rights and how the residence order and prohibited steps order can best be used in your current situation.

Children’s Services

You have made it clear that you are frustrated by the lack of support from Children’s Services. This may be the case, however, it is essential that you are seen to work closely with them, so they know you are serious about changing your situation.

It is crucial that the local Authority can assess your parenting capacity at this time. They will be reporting to the court about your ability to keep your daughter safe. In addition, they will be assessing how able you are to put your daughter’s physical and emotional needs first. And if you are doing everything in your power to accept support, to change your situation.

What they say about you at this time, will be key to any decisions made about your daughter.

Moving to your mother’s address

Before doing so, you may need to discuss this plan with your solicitor. You will need to think about how this may improve your safety. If this address is already known to your ex-partner, it may not be a safe address, and could result in placing other family member’s at risk.

Alternatively, if by moving there, it will help you to support you parenting your daughter, that may be seen as a positive in the court proceedings.

Care proceedings

It is worrying that Children’s Services are so concerned, they feel the need to issue care proceedings, so the court can decide what is best for your daughter. Is this because they are worried they have been unable to work with you, or that your child is in immediate danger, because of the high level of risk to her from arguments, and potential violence between you and her father.

Both you and your mother may wish to seek legal advice, http://www.lawsociety.org.uk about seeking sole or joint custody. As Children's Services have a duty to assess extended family members before considering placements with unrelated carers, your mother may consider putting herself forward as a becoming a foster carer, in the event that the court decide you are unable to safely care for her in the long term.

Best Wishes



Suzie

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