Reinvolvement by cs

[TKH]

My daughter has just made a serious attempt to end her life.She regrets it now. we have been through a hell of an ordeal with the courts and cs.Proceedings finished in our favour. I have not heard from cs though obviously they have been informed. Do I wait to see if I hera from them at all or do I make contact. I handled it very badly when they first got in touch last time. I dont want them to think I am playing down what has happenend but equally I wouldnt want them to be alerted more if i made contact. We have NAS support as she has asbergers.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi TKH,

I’m sorry to hear of this distressing situation. I assume your daughter is still a child i.e. under 18? Did the last proceedings conclude without any orders etc being made?

There is no need for you to contact Children’s Services, the new name for social services. However, if they do contact you, I would recommend that you are open and honest with them and work co-operatively with the social worker, rather than handling it badly as you say you did last time.

Clearly, what has happened is very serious and you need to demonstrate that you understand this and can now protect your daughter. Have you taken any steps to get additional help for your daughter now to avoid something similar happening again? Counselling, for example? Obviously it will look positive to Children’s Services if you are working well with any other professionals involved with your daughter and if you are trying to get her help. Perhaps her GP could suggest local organisations? NAS might also be able to make some suggestions.

Best wishes

Suzie

[TKH]

The whole point is that I absolutely do not wish to spend time and effort proving that I understand or think anything to anyone. I only want to concentrate on doing what is best for my family and specifically at the moment for my daughter. Being seen to do the right thing is not the same as doing the right thing. The stress of the last two years has left us all fragile. No the only order made by the court was a contact order for their Dad. He has been impossible and now sees the kids less than ever. The CO was for all the kids but he's only interested in the younger three. It causes no end of stress when there's contact as it leaves me with two very rejected kids then the others return in absolute turmoil 'cos he plays such horrific mind games with them.
I am working with the NAS to find appropriate support/councelling for her but she emphatically refuses to have any dealing with CAMHS! They were a desaster both times we were involved with them before. I have given her lots of opportunity to talk and we have to some extent and she has spent time with NAS outreach worker. I am not reluctant to get/accept help but the wrong thing does not simply waste time but sets her back significantly each time.
All of my children have asked at different times if this means SW will be back in their lives. I said I wasnt sure but it was unlikely and the look of relief in each of their faces spoke volumes.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi TKH,

I’m sorry if I didn’t make myself clear in my last post. I didn’t wish to imply that you should only seek help for appearances sake. Obviously you need to consider which organisation can offer the best help and support that your daughter needs and as a teenager, if she refuses to work with a particular organisation, there isn’t really anything that can be done.

Best wishes

Suzie

[ange301126]

Dear TKH, If the social workers get involved again ,it is best if you can prove you have taken all the best courses of action already. I know you don't feel like you have to prove anything to them but make sure your daughter's G.P. knows all about the suicide attempt and any self-harming. Have her referred to the Community Psychological Team who can arrange for her to meet a counsellor regularly perhaps once a month That will be a big help to her as they will teach her to relax and fight the stress of it all..
In my experience if there is no care-order then the C.S. will be unlikely to have any interest in you unless they receive a referral. If the GP sees she is getting all the help she needs then he will have no need to make one. Good luck.