Husband downloading child images

PerfectlySafeDad
Posts: 61
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:34 am

@Miriam. It's possible - for you all to live together as a family under the same roof again, but extremely difficult. This is the impression I've got from this forum; I read at least one case where it was done (basically both the spouse and offender said yes yes yes to everything the CS wanted, and had to admit he was a risk whether or not he was in reality, and they were able to move forward and at least partly satisfy the CS on that basis).
They've closed your case because, as you said, he's happily (from their pov) put of the picture and having no relationship with his kids. If he attempts to move in again, or indeed you show any love and compassion for.him whatsoever you can be sure they'll open it again, and probably threaten YOU with a care order or basically harass you with the possibility of it. This is OF COURSE tyranny, flying in the face of the notion of a compassionate and rehabilitative society, but I'm afraid you have to work with it.

Seadog01274
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby Seadog01274 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 11:52 am

This is the situation I am in and I know I have to do everything social services say to ever be able to rebuild my family. Social services work backwards, they see it as the worst possible scenario and overtime do assessments and visits and calculate the risk. I’ve been told it could take 10 years to be able to have any kind of family life again but like has been said it can be done.

mva17
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby mva17 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 4:17 pm

thats was my thought after all reading. i dont say he is not a risk i think thats no the best way to help him or us. From your experience do you think is better to agree witj what sw said and when he is off register try to get back together or from the start.? how the sw will know if i still aupport him?

mva17
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby mva17 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 4:57 pm

thats was my thought after all reading. i dont say he is not a risk i think thats no the best way to help him or us. From your experience do you think is better to agree witj what sw said and when he is off register try to get back together or from the start.? how the sw will know if i still aupport him?

Seadog01274
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby Seadog01274 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:22 pm

I have been open and honest with saw from day 1. I don’t see any point in lying to them, their there to work with me so they say. I am not going to end all contact until he is off the register. We are hoping the service will work with us no matter how long things take

mva17
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby mva17 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:40 pm

i understand your point my concern is i am not sure i could cope with the stress. i never will say i won't have contact with him as i want to him be able to see the kids as much as he can. they must respect he is his dad. i am scare to even the tiniest posibility of lossing my kids.

Seadog01274
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby Seadog01274 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:45 pm

I am in contact with my husband every single day. We were moved onto a child protection conference and the rules were laid down that my husband could not have any direct or indirect contact with my daughter at the moment. My daughter goes to her biological dads every other weekend and we spend this time together. The way I’ve come to see it is this time we get is precious and if that’s all we are allowed at the moment then we make the most of that for now. Please feel free to inbox me as I know how important it is to feel to have support from someone who understands xxx

mva17
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby mva17 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 6:01 pm

sorry about all the questions. is he not allow any contact because he is not the biological father?

Seadog01274
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby Seadog01274 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 6:19 pm

Don’t worry I know what it’s like to have 10000 questions and no answers. No it’s not because he isn’t her biological dad, the way social services see it is he is high risk because he’s enjoyed looking at pictures of children on the internet. They don’t know what has happened between him and my daughter and they say they can’t risk assess him until he has been charged by the police.

mva17
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Postby mva17 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 6:30 pm

i see, for me at the moment is a bit different as sw allowed me to supervise him as long as he doesn't live with us, but i am sure this will change after sentencing. Really worried on my children impact if they are not allow to see him.


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