Husband downloading child images

Seadog01274
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Seadog01274 » Tue Jul 24, 2018 8:54 am

I guess everyone is different. We have just had the best 4 years of our lives together and I can’t throw all that away. I know he is a sex offender but from speaking to him he needs help. His addiction has spiralled out of control and he’s been too frightened and ashamed to ever tell anyone and to ever ask for help. He hasn’t just been looking at illegal porn he’s addiction to all kinds of porn. Before all this I never even knew there was such thing as a porn addiction. I’ve spent hours and hours online and it’s becoming such a serious problem for people with very little help out there. So many of the professionals I’ve spoken to just don’t have any help to offer.

Worriedashell
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 7:10 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Worriedashell » Fri Jul 27, 2018 10:59 am

Hi
I’m in a very similar situation, my partner of 8 years is currently serving 10months (he’s due out December)
Due to my daughter (who is 25) her profession means he can’t return hone due to safeguarding issues, I have a son (20yrs old) no grandchildren or children that visit my home
I’m worried how we will deal living apart and how much influence Probation will have over this...
Any info would be greatly appreciated xx

Seadog01274
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Seadog01274 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 5:29 pm

What are the reasons for him not being allowed home?! I thought if there was no one in the house under 18 they couldn’t enforce something like that? Have replied to your private message too Hun saw that before this comment! There’s just no words is there. All my decisions feel to be being made for me I’ve never felt more out of control of my own life before xxxx

Kami2018
Posts: 96
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Kami2018 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:46 pm

What is your daughters profession if you don't mind me asking

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2153
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:12 pm

Worriedashell wrote:Hi
I’m in a very similar situation, my partner of 8 years is currently serving 10months (he’s due out December)
Due to my daughter (who is 25) her profession means he can’t return hone due to safeguarding issues, I have a son (20yrs old) no grandchildren or children that visit my home
I’m worried how we will deal living apart and how much influence Probation will have over this...
Any info would be greatly appreciated xx
Dear Worriedashell

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. Your post does not appear to relate to any children’s services involvement with your family.

In your post you say your partner cannot return home because of your daughter’s profession and safeguarding issue. I am not in a position to advise on this as I do not know the nature of your partner’s offence or your daughter’s work or the safeguarding concerns. It would also depend on any restrictions that was put in place by the court when your partner was sentenced.

You may find it helpful to contact NACRO on 0300 123 1889 as they provide advice for ex-offenders and their families as I think they will be able to offer you advice or signpost you to the most appropriate service.

Hope you find this helpful

Best wishes

Suzie

DesperateDad
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:51 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by DesperateDad » Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:13 pm

My children's Mum has been hauled over the coals because she believes in moving forwards and doesn't want our friendship or relationship to end. For stating that she believes in me and trusts me, she has been accused of being unfit to safeguard, and therefore we now find ourselves on a CP Plan, with the prospect of even worse. I've seen how the social workers have tried really hard to force her to be horrified over and over again, to express distrust, to cut herself away from her children's father. It's terribly cruel and short-sighted, when actually what we should be doing is looking for a way to provide love and rehabilitation.
They openly accused me of failing to safeguard my children because I made the conscious decision to stay with my partner and to work through those issues together, weekly counselling sessions (together and individually) for so long now, and making excellent progress in terms of self-understanding, self-forgiveness etc. Yet, this is all disregarded because they have a view on what it all means before they even walk in the room, and they'll fit every bit of evidence they can around it so that they achieve the outcome they want. My children aren't better off because of their mistakes and venom, my children are far worse off, as are all our relationships as we struggle to try to move forward positively.

Seadog01274
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by Seadog01274 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 6:28 pm

In the same position. She has upped our case to CP order as I am standing by my partner. Hoping she will work with me but I aren’t getting that feeling from her at the moment. Feel they should be working with me to safe guard my hold and support us as a family. Now got visits every 10 days which I was looking at as a positive but we will see how she works with me.

PerfectlySafeDad
Posts: 91
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by PerfectlySafeDad » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:46 pm

Superbly expressed, DesperateDad. Now perhaps it's a little clearer why I referred to them as 'monsters' earlier.
"It's terribly cruel and short-sighted, when actually what we should be doing is looking for a way to provide love and rehabilitation.
They openly accused me of failing to safeguard my children because I made the conscious decision to stay with my partner and to work through those issues together, weekly counselling sessions (together and individually) for so long now, and making excellent progress in terms of self-understanding, self-forgiveness etc. Yet, this is all disregarded because they have a view on what it all means before they even walk in the room..."
Frame that. Send it to the government as a petition. A serious point; maybe parents in our situation should band together, particularly all those who are attempting some form of reconciliation and family unity. There are plenty out there, though a vilified minority in the grand scheme of things. The evidence builds all the time on this forum as to what a tyranny this strata of British authority us, doesn't it? 'Local Authority' indeed. Tinpot little ***.

***edited as in breach of our rules.

mva17
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by mva17 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:43 pm

i am in a similar position. My husband has been charged with possession of child images. He went to magistrate court last week and need to go back court for sentencing on 12th september. Sw closed our case as he moved out and they are waiting for sentencing. I would like for him to live in the family house but i know is going to dificult. Any one that has been able to live together again with their own children?

mva17
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:55 am

Re: Husband downloading child images

Post by mva17 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:46 pm

i am in a similar position. My husband has been charged with possession of child images. He went to magistrate court last week and need to go back court for sentencing on 12th september. Sw closed our case as he moved out and they are waiting for sentencing. I would like for him to live in the family house but i know is going to dificult. Any one that has been able to live together again with their own children?

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