after the conference

[diane warren]

hi.
I attended a child conference yesterday where it was decided that my son go on a at risk register.
To cut a long story short. in 2010 I went into rehab for alchohol abuse, I lived in for 18 weeks. after I remained sober for 20 months. I went back to the family home which I was advised not to as my ex is a drinker and controller. we split and went through 12 months of battling over the house and custody of our son.
we have joint residency, 2 thirds of time with myself.
in september last I left the house with my son into private rent as my ex wouldn't leave. I took on massive debts to set a home up. our house sold but it took 8 months for him to find a place nearly losing the house sale. he emotionally threatened me to cancel CSA or he wouldn't move. so I did,had no choice I need the equity to pay my debts and rehome.
the pressure and emotional abuse got too much and I relapsed.
he notified s,services, came to my house to argue, he wouldn't leave, I grapped him and he pinned me down, I scratched his face to get him off me. next day he had me arrested. case was dropped as it was self defence, but I was humiliated and drank, got arrested 2 days later for DD.
s. services were contacted. my son cant see me unsupervised and is staying with my ex.,
this all happened within 3 weeks.
we attended a child conference yesterday, my son has been put on a at risk register.
I have built up a huge support network im accessing, ive not drank since the relapse.
im a good mum,im scared what will happen now. weve got a 1st core group next week.
I am reluctant to say too much about ex as my son needs to stay with him for now.
worst is not knowing when I will get my son back. my ex is ok with me now but because he is being monitored, im scared when things settle he will emotionally attack me again.
I miss my son so much and he wants to come home. I will do whatever it takes. I did it once through court.....
thoughts and advice would be most appreciated
Diane

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Diane Warren

Welcome to the Parent’s discussion board. My name is Suzie one of the Family Rights Group’s online advisers.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you have been experiencing with regards to your ex partner in relation to your son.

Have you been referred to the : Freedom Programme and considered seeking support from the : Rights of Women as they may be able to offer you physical, emotional and practical support in relation to your situation.

The Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you address some of your financial worries and proritise your debtors so that the most important ones can be paid off first.

If you would like to speak to an adviser in detail about the current : child protection process you can contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.30 pm.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[diane warren]

Hi Suzie,
thanks for your reply.
Had a contact with my son yesterday, and seeing him tomorrow with my parents arranged my social worker. its going well but he is becoming more upset when he has to leave me and go back to his dads, he wants to come although he has a good understanding of why for now he cant.
I am doing all they expect of me concerning my support network, accessing AA and 2 other alcohol dependency support groups. I havnt drank, and I know I wont. my problem was the amount of stress I was going through but these stresses are now one by one being sorted, and my ex has backed off knowing social services will be told if he harasses me.
have 1st core group on the 1st April. can somebody please help me understand how long this can go on for as in suprrvised contact, and when I will get my son back. I know its like how long is a piece of string? but surely they can give me some kind of indication....not knowing is driving me insane.
Diane