Need some advice please..

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:53 pm

Hello everyone...

Today whilst at parenting class with my partner which is held at my daughter's school i was called out by the school receptionist to have a word.. I was told that my daughter had fallen off the slide and hurt her head... i went inside the nursery to see her and she was covered in blood down her face automatically i panicked and started to cry so i got my partner as he is more calmer in this situation than me and i didnt want my little girl to get scared...

None of the teachers in her nursery or those who were supposed to be supervising the children could say how it had happened. The headmistress was extremely annoyed that nobody could tell her how my daughter had hurt her head. When we asked my little girl she said she had hit a wall.. My daughter had to be taken to thje hospital for stitches where i then had to instantly phone the sw because i didnt want her saying i did not notify them even though that should not be the first thing on my mind. The headmistress informed me that she is not happy with the nursery staffs explanation and will be asking more questions as it is ridiculous noone saw what had happened especially when it is a serious injury. Luckily my little girl is ok but i am not happy with the nursery. My daughter is constantly coming out of nursery with cuts bruises and all sorts and i am the one who has to panic about it in case the sw thinks its from me or my partner when clearly its from the nursery as they are obviously not supervising the children correctly.

What does everyone think my next course of action should be towards the nursery?

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby ange301126 » Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:09 am

Dear Anxious, Remember that you have both been assessed by the SW who has no concerns about your parenting and has announced her intention to step down from involvement.Do not worry about any duty to report everything to her anymore. You don't have to.

You say you are quite happy to work with the cin plan and find the support of the participants helpful therefore contact them for advice.

If you think the nursery staff are unable to protect your daughter from harm, I would suggest that she stays at home. Discuss it with the others.It is strange that stories conflict. Banging into a wall is quite different to falling from a slide.

As your daughter is having many accidents not only at nursery but at home aswell, I would begin to suspect some sort of medical explanation for it. Discuss it with the others.Perhaps there are problems with her sight or maybe some sort of glandular or dietary problem affecting her balance.How is her fine motor development? Does she have a normal appreciation of danger?Ask the GP.He can test for all these things.

You should have no doubts about your own abilities. If they were shaken by the CS, now is the time to return to normal.

Anxious,I may just be stupid or perhaps I am out of touch but please will you tell me who or what LOL is?

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:59 am

Hi Ange.. 'LOL' means laugh out loud..

Well today i finally found out what had really happened to my daughter.. she was running round a corner and tripped hitting a piece of metal that was sticking out from some bricks on a fence which split her head open.. the headteacher was only able to find this out from one of the children in my daughters class who witnessed it.. however none of the nursery staff saw it happen, god knows what they were doing at the time.

My daughter does not have any accidents at home only at nursery.. when she is at home with me she does not have a mark or a blemish on her as soon as she is back at nursery she comes home covered.. i can understand normal bruising on her legs as all children get these through playing but it is the ones on or her arms or on her head that nobody informs me about that concern me the most.. I feel that if i have to give an explanation for every mark on my daughter when sending her into nursery then so should the nursery staff be giving me explanations for marks and bruises she gets coming out of nursery..

My daughters fine motor development is fine for her age and she is well aware of danger. She is not a stupid child she is very bright and aware. I feel the problem is with the nurseries lack of supervision of the children and i feel i need this to be addressed and will bring it up at the next cin review meeting as both the nursery teacher and the headteacher will be present.

I am a good parent and i look after my children very well.. even more so now that the cs have become involved i am extra vigilant and have change the whole layout of my home to ensure they are protected from any dangers.

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby ange301126 » Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:00 pm

Dear Anxious, I wouldn't be quite so quick to believe the classmate if I was you.Why would your daughter say she hit a wall? On monday, ask her to show you the wall she hit and ask her if she is sure what happened.

However,If there was nails,pieces of metal sticking out from bricks on a fence and she did have the accident in that way,this must be down to neglect of maintenance in the playground which should be in a safe condition and you should see a solicitor.

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Fri Jul 04, 2014 10:37 am

Haven't been able to get on here for last few days because of all the technical issues..

Yesterday we had our 3rd CIN review meeting.. This time there wasn't as many people present as last time, we only had the sw, fsw and speech therapist present. Both the speech therapist and fsw has positive things to say about my partner and i and the sw has only heard positive things regarding our parenting so from this it was decided that we will now be stepped down to the fsw if we still want to continue our work with her which we do as it is all beneficial for our sons current sensory and speech difficulties. There will no longer be an social worker involvement so i am extremely happy that it has all now come to an end. The sw will be doing one last visit to the home today to see the children and then i will be able to get on with my life with my beautiful children. We have so much planned for the future and looking forward to having a wonderful magical family Christmas this year :)

I thank everyone for all their support throughout my experience with children's services and if i can offer anyone any advice, help or support then i will be more than happy too as i know how hard and how scary it is to go through the experience of having children services involved in your lives.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:07 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby blueplain » Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:40 pm

Thats is great to hear anxious! It is a relief for me too because I followed your situation closely and I understood how the whole journey felt for you, as it is what happened to me. I am just glad that your intervention was not as long winded as mine and you can move forward and look forward to the summer holidays and christmas! If you are ever in trouble again I am always here for reassurance and advice. Just need to get myself off of CAF and move on independantly with my life too!

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:51 pm

Thank you blueplain!!

You will get off CAF soon i know it! And i cant wait to hear about it when you do.. ]

I will be visiting the forums as much as i can to help others and offer some words of reassurance or advice i dont want to abandon the site just because my ordeal is over.

Good luck with everything and keep in touch!

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby ange301126 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 5:04 pm

Dear Anxious, glad to hear you are ready to advise others. I am sure you don't expect me to let your thread end without me getting my oar in do you,so here we go!
As you will have noticed, there is never any shortage of new cases appearing on the forums and the FRG staff are only part-time unfortunately.
Perhaps you can take stock of your own case from start to finish and specialise in those cases where partners are forced to leave home because of false allegations.
I have tried to deconstruct your involvement by re-reading it and I notice Suzie's advice that the enquiries had to be made following the legal frameworks (Children's Act 2013). Luckily for you they did this but they don't always.Often they just ignore parents as they did when they ignored the information you gave them about the Police enquiries.

The main problem was that they waded in and told your partner to leave home without knowing the facts of the case . That's why only a court can separate a family and why a court will only do so after hearing the full facts and after hearing both sides of a case. The CS cannot order it and the social worker actually admitted it.No court would have sanctioned such interference in your life on the facts as they stood.It was totally out of
proportion to the circumstances especially as no charge was even brought.The harm it does to children and parents is tremendous and can cause long-term problems.

You put her on notice that the allegations were untrue, had been retracted unconditionally and that no charges had been brought but she pointedly ignored you and gave misleading information to other professionals when the cin plan was commenced.

Incidentally,what do you think might have happened if your partner had refused to leave? I now it is hypothetical now but if you had forced court action what do you think, would they have got a care order?

Your answer to that one may colour the advice you give to others.

Best of luck for the future.

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:05 pm

Since the social worker has closed our case everything has been going well.. I am still seeing a fsw for my son due to his speech and language difficulties as well as a speech and language therapist. My health visitor called me to male an appointment for me to take my son for his 2 year developmental checkup but in this phone call she also said for me.to bring my daughter along.. IM very suspicious about this as i don't see any reason why she needs to see my daughter. She didn't bother seeing any of the children during the whole time.the cin was in place even though she was meant to bit now feels the need to stick her nose in. Even though the case has been closed i still feel like im under surveillance or am.i being paranoid. I can understand her wanting to see my son as a 2 year check up is standard as mt daughter had one at age 2 but i don't get why she would be asking me to bring my daughter along too its like she wants to check up on her...

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby ange301126 » Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:37 pm

Dear anxious,this is just a guess but it may be that she wants to look at the way he communicates with his sister as a way of assessing his development.Don't worry some children are late talkers and two is nothing.The hv has supported you so far,hasn't she?


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