Need some advice please..

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Anxious,

I am glad to hear that you and your solicitor have a good working relationship-and that you were able to consult her about the polices statement before you signed it. I will address the questions you have raised:

Can children services stop you moving to Ireland?

No. They cannot stop you moving to Northern Ireland. They could stop your children moving with you if they had a court order –such as an interim care order (which gives them parental responsibility). However, to obtain a court order, children services would need to prove that your children were at immediate risk of significant harm.

To prevent any consideration of court proceedings, and while there is a child protection plan, if you were thinking of moving to Northern Ireland, then it is important that you tell the social worker this. You could advise her why-that you want to access the support of your family and friends there.
She will want details of the address where you will be staying, your contact details, how long you were going etc. She then may contact the local children’s services in Northern Ireland and pass on details about the child protection plan.
To get advice more suited to your situation, please also discuss with your solicitor.

How do children’s services assess whether my children are at risk?

Children services use the same assessment tool when there are worries about a child’s safety and when they are looking to provide family support.
Please look at assessment.
As there is a child protection plan, those professionals who are involved, such as social worker, health visitor, nursery teacher and police, will be monitoring the wellbeing of your children. If they became concerned about an unexplained bruise, for example, they would pass this information to the social worker. The child protection plan should always involve the social worker seeing the children alone and visiting the family home. The assessment will also involve speaking with you as parent and listening to your views.

For parents, it can be very stressful to have their family life placed under the microscope. On the plus side-if things are going well-then this is more evidence in favour of your parenting being protective. Or if concerns are identified-even very minor ones, then support can be offered to the parent. The aim of the plan is for any risk of harm to be reduced-so that your children’s names can come off the child protection plan. (This can only happen at the review child protection conference).
Although it seems that you are being criticised, hopefully the social worker will be picking up on the fact that you have a loving family. You could also remind the social worker about all the other positive reports (such as the speech therapists) there are about your family.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Anxious]

Hi Suzie my children are not on a protection plan. This has not been decided yet. I have not heard from my social worker in a month but the last time she visited she said that at the end of the assessment the outcome would either be a family support plan or a child protection plan. This was the reason for the question I asked as I was a bit confused about how she is assessing us when she hasn't seen us in a month. I know that the paediatrician doctor is liaising with my daughters school as she phoned me today to tell me she would be asking about the concerns they had previously brought up to the social worker. This is why I worry because the school had never mentioned to me before that they had concerns over my daughter they would always smile in my face telling me how great she's been when they were actually hiding information and lying. Surely they should express concerns about children to the parents or ask questions but they never do. I have now taken it upon myself to ask them how she is doing with her speech and her relationships with other children I have heard positive thigs but I feel I cannot trust them, are they telling the truth or are they just saying this and then telling social workers a different thing. It's horrible to not be able to trust anybody! My daughter has only been to school once with a bruise on the forehead due to bumping it off the bunkbed I informed the school of this but even then I'm terrified they are going to call social services on me. Surely they can't expect children to have no bruises at all kids fall and my flat is tiny we have no space at all but no one cares about our home and how small it is the children literally have nowhere to move without bumping into things even I'm always banging into something.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Sorry, I had misread the facts of your previous post-in my rush to respond to you.

I can see why it must be frustrating not to know the outcome of the assessment.
Why don’t you ask the social worker what else she has to do in respect of the assessment of your family? Does she need to see you again? What other information does she need? Is she waiting for any professionals to get back to her? When will the assessment be completed?

The assessment process is the same that I set out and is in the advice sheets that I referred to.

In the meantime, keep cooperating as you are doing. This will be seen as a positive and will hopefully be highlighted in the assessment when you eventually receive it.

If you are still thinking about moving to be with your family in Northern Ireland, then although there is not the compulsion of a child protection plan-(ie you do not have to let the social worker know your future plans), I still recommend that you discuss your plans with the social worker, if you are thinking of moving soon.
You have got good reasons for making this decision-to access the help from your family network there. If dad has parental responsibility, then his consent (or an order from the court) would be needed to allow you to take the children out of the jurisdiction of England and Wales.

Sorry again for the mix up.
Best wishes,

Suzie

[Anxious]

Hi Suzie, can social services make my partner leave my home on a permanent basis? Can they stop him from seeing his children? Even if the police investigation comes back as no further action as the police have already said they have no conclusive evidence.

[Anxious]

Hi again Suzie sorry to keep bothering you like this but I'm
Just trying to gather as much information as I can so I can be prepared for whatever May face me. I wanted to enquire about getting an advocate if I have to attend a child protection conference? Where and how do I get one? And what exactly do they do?

Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Anxious

I refer to my previous advice in terms of expressing the importance of you continuing to engage with all of the assessments that are being completed on you as parents, and working closely with your solicitor so that they can give you the best legal advice, and you can plan the best way forward together.

Otherwise, I suggest you have a pre-liminary discussion with your solicitor (and then the social work team) about your proposed plans to move to Northern Ireland, as this is where your family support network is, and this would reduce the sense of isolation you are feeling at the present time.
If you are open and clear with professionals about the reasons for the move, it should be viewed as a positive thing, for both you and the children, and should not be held against you.

With regards to support to parents in child protection conferences you will find more informaton here.

Please let us know how you get on.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[Anxious]

Hello, the only reason I would be moving to Northern Ireland is if it is ever suggested that my partner cannot have any contact with me or the children. This is not for certain that I will be moving this is only an option for if the ss say my partner can not be involved with us this is something I really hope does not happen as he has done nothing wrong! The social worker is visiting us on Tuesday to have a catch up and to discuss parenting classes. I have not seen her in a month she has not contacted me at all so a lot has happend in that time such as taking my children to speech and language group where they are getting on great , me and my partner have done an online parenting course triple p course, we have safe proofed the house as asked so we are doing exactly what has been suggested to us. My partner has been to court regarding his other two children who had made the allegations in the first place and they will not be returning to us as we have said that we cannot risk them making false allegations in the future and basically ruin our lives. He said he will still have contact with them. I have been offered a contact session with them which their sw is sorting out however I don't how I feel about seeing them as they have torn my family apart for nothing and the social worker has now told us that the children have been frequently lying and making things up also that his daughter has now changed her story regarding the allegation made against my partner.

My parents are coming to stay for two weeks and the sw has said it would be helpful for her to meet them as they are apart of my support network. I just wish things could be normal again!

[Anxious]

Just an update on what's been going on....

So last few days I have been terrified waiting on the visit from social worker. She came today and i was expecting negativity I think this was due to not having seen her since 23rd December and not hearing a thing about our situation which lead to my imagination going crazy thinking up all sorts. The visit turned out to be quite positive and a lot better than I expected. She discussed parenting classes with me and my partner and we said we would love to do it so she will be arranging one that best suits us. She was really pleased to see we had safe proofed the house with lots of padding and a baby gate. She was really happy to hear we had done a parenting course online and that we were taking the right steps forward. The only downside was about what the outcome of the assessment was still to be family support plan or child protection plan. She said that this had to be discussed with her manager as my daughters bruising was unexplained and we could not give an explanation which I did say to her I really did not know how they occurred and I can't make something up and lie to satisfy everyone's concerns. Due to the allegations from my partners other two children they still feel there is a potential risk. We also have the police investigation looming over our heads although the police said there is no conclusive evidence and it is currently in the hands of the cps who will decide whether to bring a charge or not only based on what the children have said. Although if this does happen we have been informed by the childrens social worker that my partners daughter has disclosed to her foster carer that she was not in the room when the alleged incident took place and has also been telling other lies therefore her statement would not be credible. I am hoping they drop the case as sw has said my partner would then be allowed home but until then we have to stay as we are. Things do seem encouraging and I feel more positive for the future. My parents are coming to stay tomorrow for two weeks and the sw will be meeting them so she will be able to see I have a good support network around me. Fingers crossed for me that everything will go ok!! They are also arranging a meeting with my daughters school to get together to discuss things and what's going on just so they are in the loop a bit more and we can hopefully work together as a team rather than against each other and I'm hoping it will make me trust them a bit more.

[Anxious]

Just when I think things are going well I received a voice message today as my phone was not on. It was a health visitor asking if she could come for a home visit to see me and the children and to see if I need any additional help regarding my sons speech and language. This has just come out of the blue and I'm really worried as I've only ever had a health visitor want to see me at home when my children were first ever born and they left after the 2nd visits. Should I be concerned over this? Surely my sw would have said to me that she would be recommending a health visitor to see me and the children but she never said a thig about it yesterday. I seem to have no peace from these people. I don't know of I should be worried? It was just so out of the blue. I will be phoning her back tomorrow as it was late when I had the voicemail.

[blueplain]

Do not worry. I know how it feels to have to accept extra professionals. I am sure you are like me anxious that a new professional could not have a likening for you and turn your case round. This is a natural reaction when your already overwhelmed by the intervention. The health visitor however is very helpful with arranging health appointments. However speech and language can be referred by your GP. I know this because I have been told by my Health visitor last week that I need to go to the GP to refer my son to speech and language. I got an appointment to do that on Monday. So if you want to attempt to avoid a health visitor attaching. Get an appointment at the doctors to see him about your childs speech and language, then call the health visitor and say you are great full for her concern but you already have an appointment to help your child in that regard and that her visit is not necessary.

P.s if you have children under 5 you should have a health visitor anyway. Who will do developmental checks until they are 5.