Need some advice please..

Anxious
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:07 pm

Well I've only ever seen her once when the child in need plan was first put in place 5 months ago and she was supposed to see me at home every 6 weeks whilst the plan was in place but never bothered before this I had never seen her, heard of her or met her. Now the child.in need plan is over she has phoned me to make this appointment for my sons 2 year developmental check up which I am completely fine with. It was just when she asked when.my daughter is finishing school for the summer holidays and to bring her along to the appointment I just worry I am being checked up with I am not happy about as I have had to endure 8 months of absolute hell from children's services making me feel watched I just don't want this happening again!!! I just want a free life where I am not being pestered by these nosey people :( maybe I am being paranoid but I do not trust anyone after what ive been through.

ange301126
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby ange301126 » Sat Jul 19, 2014 10:55 am

Dear Anxious, I hope you don't mind me saying that your anxiety is understandable.I am no doctor; it may or may not be paranoia but I do think your present condition is stereotypical of mothers following involvement with the CSm. Many on these forums have screamed out their feelings of terror at a knock on the door , their mistrust of professionals of any kind, also a fear of approaching and avoidance of medical professionals.They are in a cleft stick, over anxious but wary of visiting the GP because incompetent social workers have access to medical records.

You may know that Blueplain has started his own campaign to alert the authorities to this problem and has had some success.There are guidelines to be followed which were written into the Law designed to minimise damage caused by intervention ; alas the CS habitual flout many of them.

When Blueplain returns from his break,I am sure he will advise you.Meanwhile, be courageous and hang on In there! Everything will be fine I am sure.Relax.

Having said that I feel you have to bear in mind as well that if, and I emphasise just if, there is a referral at some time in the future,all the past background will be dragged out from the computer archives and presented as it stands to decision making bodies. Right,wrong or misleading. You realised this some time ago. You should ponder this problem and not let false information fester.
The implications could be disastrous indeed they were for my family.BE WARNED!

Anxious
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:04 pm

I was being a paranoid fool as usual.. went to the health visitor appointment, everything was find had a chat with health visitor she weighed the children and measured their height, gave them each a toothbrush and we were sent on our way..

Anxious
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Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:15 pm

Hello everyone,

was wondering if someone could help me with a question i have... my partner and i want to have another child in a couple of years time however i was wondering if i were to become pregnant would social services become involved again?? or is the fact that the cin case has been ended then they no longer have a right to be involved in my life ever again.. no one actually tells you anything about this kind of thing so i really don't know what happens. I am worried that if i was to become pregnant would the midwives have this info on my family that we were once involved in social services would this be a concern for them with a new baby? would having another child open up an assessment? i have no idea about this and would just like some advice because i dont think i could go through anything to do with those monsters again! Even if that meant not having another child.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:07 pm

Dear Anxious

In the event that you and your partner decided to have children in future, it is likely that Children's Services would be informed by the midwife. At this stage, a pre birth assessment may be conducted in order to establish what, if any family support you may need to help you in the parenting of the new baby.

It would be helpful to ensure that you ask for a closure letter that clearly documents Children's Services decisions to end their involvement. Ideally, it would state under what circumstances they would wish to reassess your family's circumstances in future and recommendations about which local community support agencies you should contact if you need to.

Please be reassured that any assessment that is conducted should be an accurate, comprehensive fair and evidence based report based on the presenting issues. Your willingness to seek support, advice and sustain any changes as part of the present child in need plan will also be carefully considered in the first instance.

Should The Local Authority receive a child protection referral, they would have a statutory duty under section 47 Children Act to investigate these to see if there is any action they need to take to keep your child (ren) safe.

I hope this answers some of your questions.

Best Wishes


Suzie

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:02 pm

I dont understand what reason they would need to be informed when the case has been closed?

I thought they only became involved if you were currently involved with them or if someone made a referral? That makes no sense to me! This makes me not want to now have any more children so my life is ruined and i still have no freedom how depressing!

Best chance is to move away and leave the country which is what my partner and i are planning.

A month on and i am still waiting for a closure letter and the minutes from the last meeting :(

Basil
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Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:31 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Basil » Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:37 pm

anxious sorry but you will find they will be involved if you have another baby, and if you upset them once they don't care how long it takes you are never free from them. just please please be very careful what you do or say even joking,

Anxious
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:48 am

I just find this very strange that social services would get involved again once a case is closed and there are no referrals made just because you are having a baby.. My partners ex had her first baby taken from her and adopted she went on to have four more children and social services didn't get involved with her when she became pregnant? They only go involved when someone reported her when the children were like 2 and 3 and they were then placed on cpp even when this happened and the case was finally closed she went on to have two more children with my partner and these children were never pre birth assessed and she had drug alcohol and neglect problems.

Anxious
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Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Anxious » Sat Feb 07, 2015 1:54 pm

Hello everyone,

I have not been on this forum in a very long time since my nightmare experience with ss which ended in July 2014. Since then life has been good and I have found out my son (aged 2 years and 9 months) has high functioning autism. We are now getting help from a speech and language therapist and an occupational therapist for his sensory needs..

My reason for coming on here today is because I still worry every single day that I'm going to get a call from social services and the whole nightmare will start again. I am constantly full of anxiety on a day to day basis and with my sons autism it is hard to stop him from jumping and running throughout the day and I fear every time he gets a bump to the head. I have got rid of most of my furniture to reduce the risk of him injuring himself but I feel like its still not good enough.

The other day he was playing in a tent with his sister who is 4 and they bumped heads. He now has a small bruise on forehead. The day after I took him to a soft play centre but a little boy was coming down a slide and knocked my son over making him hit the other side of his head off the slide leaving another small bruise. So I am now at an all time high with my anxiety because on Monday I have his speech and language therapist and his occupational therapist coming for a home visit and I am afraid they will think something bad even though they have witnessed and are aware of how boisterous my son is. The day after that stupid health visitor wants to see kids to say hi because she is a new hv as my last one left and to weigh kids and I'm again worried she may think soemthing else and report me to ss as my son has two small bruises. I really despise hv as my last one was useless she hardly bothered with children whilst they were on a cin plan then when ss closed case she felt the need to continue seeing my kids every 3 months for weigh ins. Anyway the last appointment she made with me was to be the last for my daughter but she cancelled the appointment as she was tired with jet lag!! And would call back to rearrange however I never heard from her again she also failed to make a referral to the hospital for my sons eye as he has a divergent squint and this has only been arranged recently because I had to tell my sons paediatrician. I hate hv's and I think they are nothing but trouble and now this new one wants to say hi and weigh kids for want reason I don't know. Do all new hv's do this? I'm going to be ill and anxious for the whole weekend regarding my son and these people because I trust no1 I feel scared of everyone :(

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Need some advice please..

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Feb 09, 2015 12:55 pm

Dear Anxious,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum!

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety levels have gone up. You are worried about a bruise on your sons head caused by a bang with his sister and that consequently there may be a further referral to children services.

If any of the professionals-such as the health visitor ask you about the bruise, then all you can do is answer honestly about what happened and how you dealt with the bruise at the time. As you say, the professionals know that your son has Aspergers as well so may be lively because of this. Also you are cooperating with all the support from professionals for your son and seeking this support when you need it.

If a referral was made, children services would first, decide whether to carry out an assessment. If they did, then children services would look back at their past involvement.

I remember that a lot of this history was positive-you cooperated under a child in need plan , children services did not call a child protection conference-because there had been no ongoing risk of harm to your children, and you worked so well with all the professionals involved. Finally, they closed their case.

I don’t know whether you have any support to help with your anxiety levels. You could get in touch with AnxietyUk or
Mind to see what help might be available.

It sounds like you had a rum deal with the last health visitor. She wasn’t able to keep to the appointments with you and did not make the referral that you needed. However, you being a pro active mum, you did it yourself (which will look very positive).
Although it might be easy to rule out all health visitors, I think you were very unlucky. I hope you have a better start with the new one. They can be a really good source for support about your children health needs.

Best wishes,
Suzie


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