Advice please! What does this mean?

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Anon88
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:40 pm

Advice please! What does this mean?

Post by Anon88 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:06 am

Please bare with me, this may be a lengthy post but I need to get all facts in. Apologies if this comes out garbled also :-/ Very stressed!!

My partner and I haven't lived together at any point.. In Nov 2011 my partner was arrested on suspicion of indecent images. The police had a lead and looked at every (6) computer in his household, he directed them to his rather large porn folder. Upon inspection they decided that 30 odd (forgive me, I can't quite remember exactly) images were of children between the ages of 14-17. Level 1s.
Due to this social services were alerted. They put in place a contract of expectations which said any contact with our daughter must be supervised by me, his mum, my mum, his brother & my gran. No overnight access allowed.She was put on the child protection register for being at risk of sexual harm.

In June 2012 he pleaded guilty as advised. He remains adamant that he thought they were all over 16 (which is still an offence as the age for photography is 18) and he's deeply ashamed. The police told him it didn't matter what his intentions were, the fact is that they're there and he put them there. He was sentenced to a 3 year community order where he has to do a course. He has no restrictions other than being unable to work with children for 3 years and he's a registered sex offender for 5 years,

We have since had 6 conferences, in every conference so far we are praised to high heaven over our love and care for the girls. (I recently just gave birth to another daughter). Our eldest is very bright and forward. Doing things children years older do. ( She's a toddler). They keep saying their only concern is my partner.
We have had 4 different social workers within this time, He has had 4 different probation officers in this time. Due to the high turn over of workers all we've had to go on in conferences is "waiting on probation to do work"

It's now coming up to 2 years if being on the register and they need to move us forward. We had another conference this week and as well as new workers (social and probation) for a couple weeks (which meant no core group previous to conference) we had a new chair and a stand in for the health visitor.
The new chair seemed eager to push things along and brought up many points. The most we've seen since th beginning.

It keeps going back to he needs to show he understands what he's done wrong nd how it's affected victims, etc. they believe there's been no change. But I wonder how they say these things when he's not even completed a risk assessment course or done any work with probation yet. A year into his order!

The chair has suggested a few points, the first being that they are going to seek legal advice. Second that I speak to Nspcc regarding grooming. (I will do it of course, but I feel of they speak to me they'll know I understand the topic). Thirdly they want my partner to show gumption and push forward woth probation as best as he can. They want me to monitor and make sure core groups go ahead and do work they should and lastly "mobilise family support".

At first I was rather happy, I felt things were starting to take shape and see a way forward. But I'm an over thinker and I'm really worried about this "legal advice" .. Does this mean they're going to try and take my girls away from me?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Advice please! What does this mean?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:42 am

Dear Anon88,

Welcome to the parents forum and thank you for posting!

I can see that there has been a child protection plan for 2 years and that not a lot seems to have happened to deal with the crux of the issue-which is the risk that your partner may pose to your daughters. He is supposed to be attending a course through the probation service but this has not happened.
You are your family are currently involved in protecting your daughters-by supervising contact-however, your partner is not allowed to stay overnight –so lives else where.

A new child protection conference chairwoman is keen to get things moving. She has asked that your partner chase the probation about the course that he is expected to attend. She is also asking you to educate yourself about grooming-so that you can look out for possible signs that your partner is grooming your children.

I also suggest that you contact the Lucy Faithfull foundation-
Lucy Faithfull Foundation. they specialise in reducing the risk of child sexual abuse and work with all members of the family.

Legal advice
However, you are worried that the social worker has been asked to seek legal advice and want to know what this might mean.
First, I would speak to the social worker and ask her to let you know the outcome of any discussion with the local authority solicitors. Often child protection plans will have an alternative plan-involving the social worker seeking legal advice. This is to decide whether there are current grounds for seeking court orders in respect of children or for advice about what should happen-if the child protection plan was to be breached and your children put in danger.
Also local authorities do not like children to remain subject to child protection plans for a long period of time-as it means that while children’s names are on a child protection plan-they are suspected to be at an ongoing risk of suffering harm.
From the information that you have given in your post-your children are currently protected-by the plan and by the agreement around supervision of your partners contact with your daughters. So there would be no grounds to go to court. There does not appear to be any reason why you need to worry.

However, if children services had evidence that your partner was for example, having unsupervised contact-then they would have to consider how to protect your children. This may mean taking court proceedings to obtain the legal parental responsibility to make decisions around where your children should live.

Have a look at page 22 of this advice sheet
child protection procedures.
It details what it means when children services seek legal advice.


The way forward
The main problem has been the lack of support- that you as a family have received. I would have expected that what is being suggested now by the chair-should have been put on the plan a lot earlier-you should not be penalised for this.
However, it is now important that your partner attends the course provided by probation or another course-he needs to do what he can to chase probation and show that he is committed to being assessed and getting treatment to help him reduce his risk to children.
Until this happens, no one will know how risky he is-and this means he will be considered high risk .
Equally, although I know that you have done everything that has been asked of you-and your daughters are thriving in your care, you do need to pursue the support and education from the NSPPC about how to protect your children from future possible grooming by your partner.
Before the children name can come off a child protection plan-any risk of sexual abuse needs to be reduced.
I can imagine that you are really frustrated by the length of time this has been going on for. But please carry on cooperating with children services.

I hope this advice helps but please post back if you want further advice.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Anon88
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:40 pm

Re: Advice please! What does this mean?

Post by Anon88 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:44 pm

Thank you for your informative response. You've put my over thinking mind to rest.
My next meeting with my social worker is on Monday. My partner has non stop phoned his probation worker since Monday to find out today she's on annual leave for two weeks. Hopefully we can get things in motion now.

They asked me why I'm still with my partner, when if we'd split my children wouldn't have been out through this, suggesting I'm putting him/ our relationship first.
In fact, we've never been told that splitting up would make things any different. I was under the impression that even if we parted, they'd still be on the register as long as he had access/visitation?
I always put my kids first no matter what, everything comes after them. I don't even know how I feel about my relationship yet, tbh it's the last thing on my mind, I want to focus on getting through this for my children's sake. I want to know if they'll have to live without a family unit/no access to their dad, etc before I think about how I feel and the consequences of what he's done. Does that make sense! Is that so wrong?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Advice please! What does this mean?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:32 pm

Dear Anon88,

Thanks for posting back.

I suggest your partner email the manager of his probation officer. He can set out how long he has been waiting, that the child protection plan asks him find out when the course will start, how long will it take and if there is anything else expected of him-such as cooperating with a further assessment. He could ask that s/he also let the social worker know the position.

In respect of your position, you need to re- iterate to the social worker what you have set down very clearly in your post. The social worker might be concerned that you do not understand that your children may be at risk of sexual abuse by your partner because you remain being in a relationship with him.

However, as you have said, you need to know what risk he may be. Even if you seperate-you need to ensure that any contact he has with them is safe.

As I mentioned before, I think it would be helpful to find out if there is anything further you can do around protection of your children-Lucy faithfull foundation can be very helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie

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