advice

[chloe65]

i have many problems with ss because of the things that was supposed to happen in my family surroundings which one was only true about my partner with the dosmetic violence which he is not here with us which the ss said its best this started because my daughter was 14 and also coming home drunk and going missing and i have to go looking for her i couldnt do that most of the time because i have a 7 year old son as welll and ss said they be concerned if i take him out so i had to call the police they said and i did i have been hit by my daughter on several occasion and i never hit her back but they said its haveing a inpact on my sons life as my son has never seen my daughter do this to me as he always asleep upstairs and she never shouts at me in front of my son . she has now quiet down as i just found out she is pregnant age 15 now which i didnt know she was seeing anyone and she said it was a one night stand. theu wanted to take my daughter into care and i said no so they said they would take both of them which i never raise my hand to my children so before they had my daughter on a registar as sexual abuse my male older then her and my son as emiotional because she come in late and drunk which my son wasnt around at the times because it was late at night. now i did a freedom program and triple p and did everything they ask me to do. they have told a lot of lies and now are not taking my children from me but are having therm both as emiotional when we have the protection conferance which has been arranged about 6 months ago thay messed up on contact as they give my partner more access without notifying any of us for an hour but the agency said it was 30 mins that is a mistake i could have been worrying because we werent notify by them at all they said my lifestyle i dont have a life and the moment because it revolves round my children i never go out just clean take them to school and cook thre meals and go to the park every tea time and then bath then bed im doing nothing wrong feel that they on me all the time we did everything what they wanted me to do just my son is asking when dads coming home and that hurts him the most

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Chloe,

I’m sorry you are having such a stressful time right now. Just to let you know I have moved your post to a more appropriate thread where hopefully more people will see it and might be able to help you.

So, just to clarify, although you were told at one time that the children might be removed from your care, that has now changed but both children will remain on Child Protection Plans (CPP) under the category of emotional abuse? Is this correct?

Also, where in the process are you? How long have the children been on a CPP now? Here is a link to our child protection advice sheet, which includes the procedure that Children’s Services (CS), the new name for social services, must follow. Obviously some of this will no longer be relevant to you.

I see what you are saying about doing the Freedom program and Triple P. It is great that you are engaging with these programs and doing the things that have been asked of you. Although it can be frustrating when you feel you are doing all that you can and the children stay on a CPP but you should continue working with CS and keep doing the things that are being asked of you as it really is the best way to achieve the outcome you want.

In terms of domestic violence, whether it is from our partner or from your daughter, it is widely accepted that does have a negative effect upon children, even if they do not see it, it will have an affect upon there emotional wellbeing. I understand it is distressing for your son to be living separately from his Dad but if you have been recommended by the Social Worker (SW) that Dad should not live in the same home, then it is best you follow that. Of course it is your choice but the risk is if you allow Dad to come back, CS will consider removing the children again if they think the children are at risk.

It seems like you feel like you aren’t necessarily being listened to by the professionals involved. I wonder, do you have anyone helping or advising you like a solicitor or an advocate? To get assistance from a solicitor you would either have to pay privately or be assessed to see if you qualify for legal help. However many charitable organisations provide advocates. An advocate is someone who can help you express your views in conferences and core groups, as well as making sure you understand what is going on/being said and that your views are heard. Here is our advice sheet on advocacy, which you might find helpful to read. Your CS should be able to tell you what advocacy services are available in your area or you could look at a website called Action for Advocacy for more services in your area.

I’m sorry this post is long. If you have any more questions then just get back in touch with me.

Best wishes

Suzie