dating a sex offender social workers involved

[nyams201]

i have been seeing a guy since i was 7 months pregnant. since we met he opened up to me about being a sex offender. it happened seven years ago. he was in prison for three yeas in Scotland. he was talking to a girl online on a dating site, he did not know she was 11 years old. she then opened up to him and told him he age. he still continued to talk to her. he explains back then he had an internet addiction, lots of dating sites chatting away. they also found level 1 images of children on the compute and was cautioned for it. now obviously the social services is involved which i totally agree with. i agree with rehabilitation but i don't want to be a stupid girl and he ends up abusing my son. at the same time i want to give him a chance. i requested a child protective conference. now reading about it am freaked out. i don't know what i would do if i lost my son.

1. what shall i expect at that conference?
2 ; do we have a shot at being together? i mean is he eve going to have a family
i have signed the no contact agreement with the social services. i never thought i would be in the eye of social services.
3. what reason would they have to put my son on the register?

[mimzy1991]

i have been seeing a guy since i was 7 months pregnant. since we met he opened up to me about being a sex offender. it happened seven years ago. he was in prison for three yeas in Scotland. he was talking to a girl online on a dating site, he did not know she was 11 years old. she then opened up to him and told him he age. he still continued to talk to her. he explains back then he had an internet addiction, lots of dating sites chatting away. they also found level 1 images of children on the compute and was cautioned for it. now obviously the social services is involved which i totally agree with. i agree with rehabilitation but i don't want to be a stupid girl and he ends up abusing my son. at the same time i want to give him a chance. i requested a child protective conference. now reading about it am freaked out. i don't know what i would do if i lost my son.

1. what shall i expect at that conference?
2 ; do we have a shot at being together? i mean is he eve going to have a family
i have signed the no contact agreement with the social services. i never thought i would be in the eye of social services.
3. what reason would they have to put my son on the register?

Hi, I was in a situation similar to yourself except the offender was my Mother's partner, however I live with her and he was visiting the home a lot. My baby was born onto a plan under sexual abuse.
I have not seen this man since November, my Mam ended her relationship in January however we are still on Child Protection, hopefully not for much longer.

At the conference expect any professional involved with your family such as Midwife, health visitor, Police, MAPPA, Mental health workers and the Social Worker. There will be the Chair who is neutral to the situation and that is who has the overall say as to what happens. There will also be a Social Worker manager, a minute taker who writes everything down and maybes a Legal Adviser (do not be freaked out, there was one at my meeting and I panicked but its just to check everything on the plan is legal and isn't breaking any laws etc). Reports will be submitted and read, everyone gets the chance to speak and you are asked your opinions on what has been said. You will know what the next step is at the end- protection plan, Child in Need, or no action.
Not sure about being together, they done everything to encourage my Mam to end her relationship however because he had no reason to be involved with my child, and I didn't want him to be, it was different.
They can put your son on a plan for "risk of sexual abuse". Its good you signed the agreement with them as it shows co- operation. My Sons social worker told me its a case of trust and they get that many people lying to them that they can't just take your word and you have to prove you can be trusted (not saying your a liar at all, just a shame they have to treat us all as if we cant be trusted )
Good luck! I'm sure if Social Services had reason to remove your son you would have been invited to a different sort of meeting, I'm not sure about this area as I've never been through it but this website gives good advice so they will fill you in better. Remember you are not the risk, and the best place for a baby is with its Mummy so as long as you fully co- operate with them and do what they ask, you should be okay

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi nyams201

Welcome to the parent's board. My name is Suzie, one of the Family Rights Group's online advisers.

Am I right to think you are still in a relationship with your partner, but have signed an agreement about the type of contact you have with each other while Children’s Services are completing their investigation into the welfare of your baby?

You say that he has been cautioned for downloading child pornography as well as chatting on the internet with an 11 year old child, after he became aware of her age. Are Children's Services completing a risk assessment of him to see what further work, if any is required with him?

In addition to the useful advice that you have already been offered by Mimzy1991. In preparation for the forthcoming child protection conference you may wish to refer to our advice sheet and film that gives information on what to expect. It may be helpful to take an advocate or friend to help you at the meeting.

You may wish to speak to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation 0808 1000 900 as they support families having to address issues to do with internet grooming and possible links to child sexual abuse.

Children’s Services will want to be confident that you have a good understanding of the concerns that have been raised. So it would be advisable to keep an open mind about the possible risks to the two of you. They will take your age and circumstances in to account when they are completing their assessment.

Therefore, please continue to engage with the Local Authority and any support that is being offered, as this will help to satisfy them that you are doing everything within your power to keep your child safe at this time.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[nyams201]

thanks mimzizy 1991 and susie.
i have requested an assessment to be done on my partner. the sw inisited that there was already one in place but that was five years ago. unfortunately i feel like she is doing everything in her power to get my son to be taken away from me. i