Please help urgent
Hi I need help, I had an argument with my 15 year old on Thursday night which got really heated, her and her sister walked out about midnight and went to one of my exes house, they said I was drunk and I'd tried to strangle her, I was arrested on Friday night, my baby and the teenagers went to my dad, the girls have now made a statement saying that never happened at all and and that I just barged past her on the stairs because she refused to move, to get away from the argument, amd there was no alcohol, and that they only said all that to my ex because they were angry, I'm not allowed to see the kids, the police and social services are going to have a meeting tomorrow to decide what to do, my baby has no social services involvement, a bit of back round, 5 years ago I lost 5 kids because of domestic violence abs because I was drinking to much, I sorted myself out and even went to rehab for 4 months to prove I didn't have a problem, they have had no concerns at all with the baby and my two eldest returned about a year ago, please help I can't lose my children again
And the social worker at the police station said they would go on my past, I'm so scared
Urgent help needed please
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4249
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Urgent help needed please
Dear candygirlx,
Welcome to the parents board.
I am sorry to hear about the distressing time you have had over the last few days. You said that your children were all to stay with dad and you were not to have any contact with them. An urgent meeting between police and children services was taking place yesterday. What was the outcome of that meeting?
Have they asked the children to continue staying with dad while children services carry out an investigation? Or have they been able to return to you? If they want them to stay with dad,-for how long? What about your contact with the children-if they want them to stay longer with dad?
In particular, your children may have different needs for contact with you. Your older children may need less direct contact with you-and can have telephone contact etc. However, your baby will be use to being with you alot of the time and would no doubt benefit from much more contact.
If your children have been returned to you then children services may still want to continue with an assessment of your family.
The initial assessment should be completed quickly. You can ask for a copy of this. Sometimes children services will “protect” children very quickly by removing them from a parent with the parents agreement-but then will be less quick to assess the family-it is important that they are keeping you informed at every stage and that things don’t drift too much. If they have asked for the children to stay longer with dad-ask them when they will review- 2 weeks or longer?
It is likely that the meeting between the police and the social worker was a strategy meeting-this can consider whether there needs to be a child protection investigation (s47 investigation), to plan whether the children will be interviewed by the police, share information, hold a child protection conference. Please have a look at page 12 of the advice sheet about
child protection procedures
The advice sheet also details what happens during a child protection investigation.
You are concerned about the fact that children services were involved before. Yes they will be concerned about the past history. However, you can also point out the progress that you have made since then-there are no concerns in relation to your baby. You could consider whether you need any support in parenting your teenage children (such as parenting classes). I know this can be a particularly tricky time -to avoid a similar incident occurring again. It sounds like this incident was a one off? If it is point this out to the social worker.
If you think children services are worried about you misusing alcohol-due to the allegations by your daughter-and due to the fact that you had drunk too much in the past, then you could cooperate with any assessment of this. For example, you will have been tested before-is this option open now. Are you prepared to engage with an assessment of your alcohol use?
I hope this advice helps but please post back. To discuss in more depth you could also contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366. This is open between 9:30 and 3:30 Monday to Friday.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Welcome to the parents board.
I am sorry to hear about the distressing time you have had over the last few days. You said that your children were all to stay with dad and you were not to have any contact with them. An urgent meeting between police and children services was taking place yesterday. What was the outcome of that meeting?
Have they asked the children to continue staying with dad while children services carry out an investigation? Or have they been able to return to you? If they want them to stay with dad,-for how long? What about your contact with the children-if they want them to stay longer with dad?
In particular, your children may have different needs for contact with you. Your older children may need less direct contact with you-and can have telephone contact etc. However, your baby will be use to being with you alot of the time and would no doubt benefit from much more contact.
If your children have been returned to you then children services may still want to continue with an assessment of your family.
The initial assessment should be completed quickly. You can ask for a copy of this. Sometimes children services will “protect” children very quickly by removing them from a parent with the parents agreement-but then will be less quick to assess the family-it is important that they are keeping you informed at every stage and that things don’t drift too much. If they have asked for the children to stay longer with dad-ask them when they will review- 2 weeks or longer?
It is likely that the meeting between the police and the social worker was a strategy meeting-this can consider whether there needs to be a child protection investigation (s47 investigation), to plan whether the children will be interviewed by the police, share information, hold a child protection conference. Please have a look at page 12 of the advice sheet about
child protection procedures
The advice sheet also details what happens during a child protection investigation.
You are concerned about the fact that children services were involved before. Yes they will be concerned about the past history. However, you can also point out the progress that you have made since then-there are no concerns in relation to your baby. You could consider whether you need any support in parenting your teenage children (such as parenting classes). I know this can be a particularly tricky time -to avoid a similar incident occurring again. It sounds like this incident was a one off? If it is point this out to the social worker.
If you think children services are worried about you misusing alcohol-due to the allegations by your daughter-and due to the fact that you had drunk too much in the past, then you could cooperate with any assessment of this. For example, you will have been tested before-is this option open now. Are you prepared to engage with an assessment of your alcohol use?
I hope this advice helps but please post back. To discuss in more depth you could also contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366. This is open between 9:30 and 3:30 Monday to Friday.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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