What do I say?!

[helena.88]

Recently, I've been told my Eldest has become Child Protection. Now they came to my house 4 weeks ago because of an allegation my eldest made (she is a compulsive liar). They seemed to have a problem with the state of my house (I have been pretty ill lately due to pregnancy and whatnot. They came at a time when I hadn't done the housework for a few days). The social worker said she would come back in 2 days. I ended up with another one, picking holes. My house still wasn't up to their standard! I had done a lot! And she said I'm thinking of making your child, child protection at the moment. During her digging at me and my husband I got very emotional and upset, told them to leave. They said another visit would be in 5 days. Visit didn't happen because of snow. I ended up waiting for a week and a day (since last visit). I was then informed that my eldest was placed as child protection. I finally found out 2 days ago, that they are doing a core assessment. I knew nothing about this, and only found out because I asked after researching child protection procedures. I also found out that a child protection conference is due to take place in the next 2-3 weeks. Now if they are so concerned why are they taking so long. Can they take so long between visits and these meetings, and what do I say at the conference. I want to make sure I have my say, but I have no idea what I'm going against. I still don't even know WHY my eldest is child protection, as each visit has been after my daughter is home from school and the social worker won't talk about it in front of her. But I don't know what to expect, or what to say or anything. They have finally made a meeting for Monday when my eldest is at school. But they want to recommend my youngest and unborn baby for child protection even though every time we have had social services involved, they have had no concerns regarding my youngest whatsoever. And I'm pretty scared at the moment of what can happen, how to get my say in when I don't know what I'm facing, or even what to say. Nothing

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Helena

Welcome to the discussion boards and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

I’m sorry to hear about the distressing situation you’re involved in. It must be a very stressful time for you, particularly as you are currently pregnant. When is your baby due?

At this stage, your children being under “child protection” simply means that the core assessment of them is being carried out under section 47 of the Children Act. This means that the social worker is concerned your children are at risk of “significant harm”- whether physical harm, emotional harm or neglect.

You mention that a child protection conference is due to take place in the next couple of weeks. The purpose of a child protection conference is to decide whether there should be child protection plans in place for your children. Have you received a letter formally inviting you to this meeting or has the social worker only mentioned it as a possibility at this stage?

I see that the social worker was due to visit today to talk to you. Hopefully you are now a bit clearer about the concerns that are being raised and the assessments that are being carried out.

I would advise you to have a look at the interactive information and advice area
of our website for more information about the process you are involved in. You may also find our advice sheet on child protection procedures and our films showing a child protection conference useful.

Please do post back and let us know how things are going and if you have any specific questions you would like me to answer. You are also welcome to call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366 if you would like to speak to an adviser directly.

I hope this helps Helena

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[helena.88]

Hi,

Thanks for the reply. I didn't see the social worker yesterday in the end as she said it was 'too close to her last visit' so she is coming tomorrow. I don't see what significance 2 days makes but thats me. We haven't had a letter about the meeting. Should we get one as a formal invitation? We know its happening we just didn't have a date yet. She is supposed to give us a date when she meets with us next. The baby isn't due till June. We have had social services involved here and there before. I have always done as they have asked (courses etc) and each time they have closed the cases knowing that I still feel things are not right. Now my eldest comes out with allegations of abuse and suddenly its child protection. My other two aren't at the moment but the social worker wants to put it to the chair to make them the same. Yet they have never had any problems with my youngest when ever they have been involved. I just don't understand how they have already been undertaking a core assessment without my knowledge. Can they speak to my eldest, like in school, without asking? I've had a core assessment done before so i know what it involves. I'm just quite confused and concerned about the whole thing.
Thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi again Helena

It sounds as though Children’s Services have been involved in your family on and off for some time but, unfortunately, it has never reached the stage where you felt you had received the right support. How old is your oldest daughter now Helena?

You mention that your case has been closed in the past even though things were “not right”. Do you feel clear about what is not right for your family? I wonder if there is any specific support or services that you feel would help that have not yet been provided?

When Children’s Services receive information that suggests a child may have suffered or be suffering significant harm, they have a responsibility to look in to the situation. You mention that your daughter made some allegations a few weeks back and this triggered the social worker coming out to see you. At this stage, Children’s Services might have made the decision that there was no role for them and closed the case. Instead, however, the social worker decided that she needed more information about the situation and started a core assessment.

The social worker should have been very clear with you when she first visited that she intended to start a core assessment, what this would involve and how long she expected the assessment to take. I’m sorry that this didn’t happen as it has obviously led to more confusion and anxiety for you.

As part of the assessment, I would expect the social worker to be talking to your daughter alone and this often takes place at school. Again, however, the social worker should speak to you about this and gain your consent before visiting your daughter. The only reason that this should be done without your knowledge/ consent is in an emergency.

It seems that, through the course of her assessment, the social worker has identified some concerns about your oldest child and is arranging an initial child protection conference. Once the date for this is set, you will receive a formal letter inviting you and telling you who else has been invited to attend.

From what you have said, the conference will consider whether there should be child protection plans for your younger child and unborn baby as well as for your older daughter. You should receive the social worker’s report a few days before the conference and this will spell out the specific concerns that she has identified. This should not be completely new information to you, however, as I would expect the social worker to be giving you ongoing feedback about her assessment and her concerns.

I would advise that you raise your concerns with the social worker when she next visits. It may be helpful to write down the main issues and questions so that you can be clear with her.

Highlight that your children are your priority and that you are committed to doing what is in their best interests. Emphasise that you have always co-operated with Children’s Services before, that you fully intend to continue co-operating now and that you are willing to accept advice and support. It might be useful to highlight the difficulties that you have identified in the family and the sort of support that you feel would help to address these.

Explain that you have not felt clearly informed about the process that your family has been involved in (i.e. that a core assessment was being carried out). Ask the social worker to be clear and open with you about,
· What assessments have been/ are being carried out?
· When these will be finished so that you can have a copy?
· What specific concerns have been identified so far?
· What changes the social worker feels are necessary to improve the situation?


I hope this is a helpful start Helena. Do read the information about child protection conferences in our advice sheet and have a look at the film I mentioned. Hopefully these will help you to feel a bit more prepared once you have a date for the conference.

Best wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[helena.88]

Hi, thanks for your reply. Sorry its been so long, had alot going on.
My eldest is 6 years old. We (her father and I) have suggested in the past that there may be more underlying problems like ADHD or bipolar. Referals were made to CAMHS who then felt they didn't want to test her for anything and wanted to go down the attachment route instead. There isn't actually anything wrong with mine and my daughters relationship.

I was told about 2 weeks ago that the core assessment has been completed. I am still waiting for a copy. This has all been going on for about 7 weeks now, since the first visit with the police officer. I would have thought things would have moved faster than this considering the 'concern' over harm.

I was not told on any occasion about the social worker visiting my daughter at school. I guess I will have to question the social worker over this.

I'm just very confused as I read somewhere (I believe this site but may be wrong) that the conference is supposed to be held within 15 days of the initial meeting they would have had without us. The social worker has told us she has to have yet another of these meetings THEN the conference will take place. If they are so concerned why is it taking so long? When my eldest was child in need before things moved a lot faster than this and there was never any 'concern over harm'. I seem to always be chasing up the social worker, instead of her making meetings and telling me what's going on. Right now I have no idea. At the moment I'm also concerned over this core assessment because I won't sign until I have read and am happy with it, but the way its going I won't have time before it goes in front of the conference.

Is it all supposed to take this long?

Thanks again
Helena

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi again Helena

You are right that an initial child protection conference must be held within 15 working days of the strategy discussion at which the need for child protection enquiries was agreed.

A strategy discussion is a meeting involving Children’s Services and other professionals but not parents. The meeting can take place at any stage of the assessment process if the social worker is concerned that a child may be suffering, or is likely to suffer significant harm.

As I previously suggested, it may be useful to raise your concerns with the social worker (possibly in writing). Include questions about how and when decisions have been made.

It is important to make clear notes of all of the concerns and questions you have about the current process and, at some point, it may be appropriate to make a formal complaint

I would advise, however, that you are careful not get too distracted by mistakes that may have been made by the social worker. Your priority at the moment is to establish what concerns are being raised about your children in order to ensure the most positive way forward for your family.

I hope this helps Helena.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[helena.88]

Hi,
I found out why they are concerned about my daughter. 1 was her allegations, obviously. When the social worker had come out with the police officer for the initial meeting my house was quite a mess. I'm pregnant and had explained that I had been pretty ill. The social worker has been my social worker before and even she said she has never seen it like that. It was one time so I don't understand why I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt. And also apparently my 'attachment' issues with my daughter. Yes I used to have attachment issues, I did everything they asked, attended every course, therapy everything. Case got closed. And even when I did have attachment issues, my daughter was only child in need. Never this high. I have never harmed my children. And im not 'likely' to either. The social worker also seems to have problems with my parenting skills, the way I'm raising MY children. Yeah my parenting isn't perfect, but I try my best same as any parent. I don't hit my kids or scream and swear at them like I see some parents do in town or whatever. I just thought child protection was about my childrens safety. Not about how I bring them up, which has never been a problem in the past.

I also have a date for the conference. I was told by phone so I'm hoping there will be paperwork to follow. 18th March. So that's already more than 15 days from the strategy discussion. Unless its 15 working days? I just don't feel they are that concerned if it is taking so long for everything to progress.

Thanks again for all the advice
Helena

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Helena

The reference to "15 days" does indeed mean 15 working days.

I can appreciate that the timescales involved seem very long to you as you are understandably anxious and waiting for clarity about what is going to happen next. It doesn't sound as if things are going unusually slowly, however.

If Children's Services have urgent concerns that a child is at risk of immediate significant harm, there are steps they can take to safeguard that child immediately. But this isn't the case in your situation, Helena. It would seem that Children's Services are concerned about the ongoing situation for your family and the impact that this may have on the children over time.

I would really advise you to call our free and confidential advice line (0808 8010366) so that you can discuss your situation with an adviser directly. This will hopefully help you to prepare for the conference on the 18th. You could also discuss the possibility of finding an advocate to support you at the meeting if that might be helpful

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser