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New dad, very scared and heartbroken

Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 1:37 pm
by newdadintrouble
Hi all,

I've had an experience similar to some I've seen on here and thank you for giving me a little hope.

I was interviewed voluntarily in October for iioc, whilst my partner was still pregnant with our daughter. After a few meetings with SS our case worker was finally assigned mid December and our world turned upside down when they told us out of the blue that I could not be at home with her when the baby was born. We lived separately but still carried on a relationship, fighting to get my mum and sister approved to supervise contact. That finally happened last week, but after one session I was interviewed again because the police found images. Honestly I was in shock at this, but SS immediately forced us to break off our relationship and I'm currently banned from all contact.

I've still not been arrested or charged so am waiting CPS, I have just got myself a defence solicitor and a family solicitor. No idea what's going to happen next but I am totally heartbroken that I've lost both my daughter and the love of my life.

I have spoken to the stop it now line for some support but I just want to know what I need to do to be doing the right thing, I'm very scared and any advice would be appreciated

Re: New dad, very scared and heartbroken

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 2:00 pm
by newdadintrouble
Hello? Anyone?

Re: New dad, very scared and heartbroken

Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2020 4:30 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Dear newdadintrouble

Thank you for your post, I am sorry for the delay in responding.

From what you have written it seems that for the moment you are complying with Children’s Services request that you do not live with your partner and child. In terms of contact with your child during this process the social worker has asked that contact with you is supervised by family members, I do hope that this is still the case for you and if it is not do ask about other ways to see your child that the local authority will deem safe. Here is a link to the organisation that manages Contact Centres across the UK.

In relation to the ‘criminal element’ of your situation versus what Children’s Services may communicate to you, I imagine that both of your solicitors have mentioned the term ‘standard of proof’. In criminal proceedings the proof is ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ in family proceedings it is ‘on the balance of probabilities’. In both instances you may have to await the findings from the ‘criminal element’ ie what images may or may not be on your device(s) before Children’s Services consider that it is safe for you to live with your family, this may take some time given that you have said that you are awaiting the Crown Prosecution Service to respond.

At this time it may also be, that your partner has been advised that it is not ‘safe’ for her to resume her relationship with you because (it is alleged) there have been indecent images of children found on a device you own (or were in possession of). At present you are complying with this too but it may be useful (if your partner wants to resume your relationship) to ask the social worker (through the person who is supervising your contact) for some information about what the local authority will do if she decides that you should live together as a family and what if any, timeframes they can give you about the process.

For information about child protection our advice sheet,Child protection procedures may be useful. If you would like to discuss the matter with one of our advisers do call our service on 0808 801 0366, opening hours are 9.30am to 3.00pm, Monday to Friday. Do also keep up your contact with Lucy Faithful project, Stop it Now.

Best wishes