Sex offender

Murray72
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:48 am

Re: Sex offender

Post by Murray72 » Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:12 am

Lala,
CS will not work with you to keep your partner at home when he is convicted of a sex offence. I think it is important that you gain access to some work that would help you deal with the effects of been a partner of a sex offender, these courses are hard to access but if you can find someone to facilitate it in your area the Guardian may support you attending such a programme and the Judge may order it (that way the cost is split between all parties). If you do not recognise the risk posed soon you will lose your Son's to a care order, a supervision order lasts a max of a year and has to be reviewed at this time, a care order will last until the Child is 18!!!! The LA do share PR with a CO but they have the power to choose where that child lives. From reading the posts on this site some parents have found themselves subject to Adoption orders at the last minute.

I do not want to alarm you, but I think you need to face the reality of your situation, you cannot continue to hang onto the image of family life as it was before your partner offended, your lives will never be the same again, once your partner is released will life continue as before? He will be subject to a Sexual prevention order, probabtion and the restrictions that come with these, I know the general view of such orders is negative but I think it is important for the people surrounding the offenders to Police these orders, and many family members do not!!

As you know from my other posts my Ex was convicted of a similiar crime some time ago, since his release from prison he has broken nearly every part of his SPO and his PVP worker even had to get permission to gain access to the Finding of fact judgement as he failed to disclose this information despite his conviction!!! These men do follow a pattern of behaviour and they are hugely selfish, they will minimise the crime they have committed but the reality is they have accessed material that depics Children been sexually abused by adults, you will be aware of the seriousness of the material he accessed due to how it was rated on the copine scale, I would suspect from the length of his sentence the number of images was high and the images on the worse end of the scale (5 been the worst), as you know these images are not something you accidentaly stumble upon, they actively seek out this material and if your partners trial had gone ahead then the Police experts would have provided evidence that included what search terms he used to find such material. There is huge amounts of research to support the fact that many men who access such images DO go onto sexually abuse Children, over time they break down the barriers that stop them offending when viewing this material. :evil:

I know many support the idea that a sex offender can be rehabilitated but I disagree, I think the majority do not accept the risk they pose and will always remain a risk around Children, Many are such skilled manipulators they simply know what to say and when to say it to the right person.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:06 pm

Hi Lalalalahehehe

What was the outcome of the last court hearing? This would be useful to know, so we can offer you the best possible advice.

Firstly, I note from your post that there was a difference of opinion between Children's Services who recommended a Supervision Order, but the Children's Guardian felt it necessary for the Local Authority to share parental responsibility for the children with you?

Do you know the reason for the Guardian being more worried about the children's welfare? Did they express concerns about your ability to understand why the children are in danger, or whether you would continue to engage with the Local Authority, (without a court order in place).

Secondly, have you considered seeking support from the Lucy Faithfull Foundation 0808 1000 900 http://www.lucyfaithfull.org/ for yourself, as they may help you to understand why the children have been assessed to be at risk, and provide further advice about what steps you can take to keep them safe at this time.

Finally, your solicitor will have spoken to you about why professionals are concerned about your parenting capacity.

Best Wishes


Suzie

ange301126
Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm

Re: Sex offender

Post by ange301126 » Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:50 pm

dear lalalallalle,
I suggest that CS are questioning your parenting capacity because you apparently do not understand the serious of your ex's offence. Do you regard him as an ex or not? I think you should heed murray's advice. If you want to resume a family life in which he is involved then it could be said you don't recognise the risk posed to your children and therefore a care order is necessary and that the children be fostered.
Given that he will be signing the sex register and everything else he will not be allowed to be alone with any child,I would have thought you would be wise to cut off relations with your ex completely, to be honest, at least until he has completed his treatments etc.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:23 am

Dear Lalala,

I have some more thoughts.
I think you are asking why does your exe still pose a risk to your children? Why can’t you and your partner be assessed as a family? Is that right? I will try to answer this but please post back if you have further questions.

I understand that your exe has had a risk assessment by Ray Wyre Associates that says he remains “medium to high risk” to your children. Ray Wyre Associates would have assessed whether your exe could go on to actually sexually or physically abuse children. Or be at risk of causing your children serious harm. They have found that he could do so.
That means he remains a danger to your children at the moment.

Does his assessment recommend any treatment? It may also give a timescale for treatment.
If it does, then it would be expected that your exe cooperate with any treatment plan and then be re assessed at the end of the treatment to find out if it has worked. If it hasn’t worked-then your ex will still be a potential danger and your children will need to be protected from him. The whole treatment programme can take many months and longer.

Part of the assessment by children services would be about your ability as Mum to protect your children from your exe-which you have done well up to now-by cooperating with them.

However, you also need to understand fully what are the risks your exe may be to your children so that you can continue to protect your children.
You could call FRG’s advice line to ask any questions. The advice line is confidential and free. As well as the Lucy Faithful Foundation helpline on 0808 1000 900? (They can explain how your exe may pose still pose a risk to your children) they also have a website for parents about understanding sexual abuse and how to protect children.
parents protect

I hope my post has helped but I know the law about sexual abuse is complex so please also post again if you have other questions.

Best wishes,
Suzie

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