False allegation made by my child

[PerfectlySafeDad]

This is unbelievable. All stemming from a false allegation by a disaffected child? No actual evidence or history of harm whatsoever? I can only think that they might be wanting to figure out why a child would be so volatile as to make such an accusation, rather than truly believing you as a parent are a risk. The draconianism and the sheer runaway machinery of it is terrifying. How is it they can be allowed to do so much damage on 'balance of probability' (even though the risk, as so often, is palpably improbable), and basically not be hauled up for child abuse themselves? Why is our society not getting with the picture and recognizing the 'safeguarding industry' has become a contradiction in terms; it's zealotry causing downright tyranny. The CS are nothing less than the **wing of our society.
So these 'professionals' don't want to hear recordings of the distressed children missing their Dad, and we daren't show annoyance or argue with them? (hell's teeth, doesn't that say loud and clear what they are??).
Well then, save up your recordings and the kid's pining letters for presenting in a criminal court for a case YOU initiate for harassment or violation of your family's human rights.
Google a case in Dorset, where a very similar thing happened, a family nearly lost their children because of a throwaway remark at school - 'schoolgirls snatched from family' - but they won and launched counter-proceedings against the council 'for breaching their human rights and CAUSING THEIR CHILDREN MENTAL ANGUISH' (no need to censor Dorset, it's in the public domain and was in the national newspapers).
I hope common sense prevails much more easily for you, but seems to me you already have a case against them - record everything, every meeting, who and when. Make them accountable.

[1234_]

Today i met with the school to go through their report. It's entirely negative, not just about what she said about her dad... but she's been telling the school i am telling her to lie so it all goes away!

When she told me she lied, i said to her, you musn't tell porky pies, you have to tell the truth. She's gone into school and said 'mummy said i need to tell porky pies so it all goes away'... Almost their entire report is against me! So not only is my husband seen as a risk because of the initial allegations but now i am seen as a risk too. She's so confused with everything, i want help for my daughter but i am now to scared to even talk to her

[Miserylovescompany2]

OMG - children muddle words up. Especially if a sentence they have heard is long and complex. I have had the same happen to me obviously not anything as severe as this. My then 10.5 yo (diagnosis of autism) stated to his school and then to SW that I had no money for food. My son had broken his iPad for the 3rd time. What I said was "if we keep spending money on having it fixed we will not have enough to buy food." What he initially said continued to go from report to report finally being used without the actual context.

Yes - they will be now wanting to establish why your child said what they did. Thing is young children do not see that words like these have serious consequences. They will know telling lies is wrong however they will not want to get in trouble. Also young child have not fully developed empathy.

Please don't be frightened to talk to your child. Questions will be asked from so many people. I would suggest letting her bring up the subject and give age appropriate responses which I am sure you do anyway.

Have you managed to sort out a solicitor yet?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 1234_,

Welcome to the Parents Forum and thank you for posting. I am Suzie the online adviser.

I can see that you have received helpful and supportive advice from other parents about your situation.

Children services and the police are involved due to allegations your daughter made about her father.
There is an initial child protection conference taking place on Monday which will be to decide whether or not there should be child protection plans for your children. In the meantime, dad has been asked to move out of the family home and only have supervised contact with his children.

This is understandably distressing for you and your children. However, the allegations made by your daughter are serious and until they have been investigated, children services have to assume the worse about dad. They do not want dad to remain at home until the allegations have been fully investigated, in case your daughter is telling the truth. It would be good to know timescales so you might have an idea when he might be able to move back home.

I can see that there has been no medical examination which I would have expected in these circumstances. If a medical exam was to take place, then you should be consulted and your consent would would be needed.

Here is information about social worker assessments .

The school report is worrying. It sounds like there has been a mis-communication between you and your daughter which is being interpreted as you silencing your daughter. I suggest you address this as best you can, either in your own letter/report which you could give to the chair of the child protection conference, or by making sure your views are put in the social workers report. Explain as you have said in your post.
You should also have the opportunity at the conference to respond to the school report. To explain how you think your daughter has misunderstood.
Because of the school report, children services will be worried that you are putting your need to have dad home before the safety of the children –that you are failing to protect them. So this would also be why you are not, at this time, allowed to supervise your children’s contact with dad.
Does the school report indicate how your daughter had come to make these allegations? There are special rules that govern interviewing children when there are safeguarding concerns.

Here are some tips to help you at the child protection conference.

Before the conference write down notes of the main points you want to make at the conference as a reminder. Think what is in the best interests of your children.

You should have the opportunity to meet the chair of the conference before the meeting. So make sure you arrive early. You can ask to see any reports the chair has from other professionals –particularly the police. This will make sure that you are not hearing new information at the conference which can be distressing.
The chair of the conference will be managing how the conference proceeds so it would be a good idea to sit opposite him/her, if you can.
If you are worried that you may become very distressed or agitated in the conference, you can discuss with the Chair having a short break if need be.
If you have concerns about any particularly sensitive information being shared at the conference let the social worker and chair know this. They may decide to remove that information from the report.
You or your advocate, friend or supporter can make a note of any significant points made by others at the conference. This will help you to remember afterwards what was said and agreed.
Try to be constructive at the conference: be considerate of other people’s contributions and respond to them respectfully.
Once the conference makes a decision about whether or not a child protection plan is needed, you can ask for:
- any help you would like for your child or yourself to be included in the plan (whether this is a child protection or a child in need plan)
- clear information about responsibilities and timescales for carrying out actions – for you as a parent and for the professionals involved. This should be fully addressed in the core group meeting.

At the end of the conference the Chair will sum up the information that has been shared. The chair will also remind the professionals that if they suspect that your children could have suffered significant harm and/ or are at continuing risk then a child protection plan should be made.

For more help about child protection conferences, look at our film and FAQ’s


I hope this advice is helpful to you for Monday . If you have any questions, please post again or you could call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[BriceAzibix]

Hmm, this is actually quite a serious problem. It seems to me that you should contact a good lawyer so that your husband can be helped to return home as soon as possible. In fact, false accusations are a fairly common problem. My friend is in the military and was recently falsely accused of sexual assault. That's just terrible. But the friend did not despair, he began to look for a good lawyer who would help him. He stumbled upon the site false accusations and read what he needs to do. Seisas is on trial in his case, but he has a good chance of success. So you should not be upset either, it is better to find a good lawyer.

[KatKat10]

We have contacted a few solicitors but they won't get involved unless court proceedings are initiated. Are there any recommended solicitors that could help us at this stage?

Try Mckenzie Friends, they will be able to offer advice for a small fee. Their Youtube channel is very informative. Solicitors only normally get involved at the PLO stage. Just make sure you record everything, challenge everything. When they clock on that they are not dealing with stupid people they tend to be very wary, but still try and lie and make threats. Contact the FRG helpline as well, the advisors have been really great and given me a lot of advice.