Hi
Me and my partner have known each other for about 4 years i have a daughter. Hes known us since she was about 1 and she see him as her father.
Over the course of getting to know each other he informed me that he had his children taken away because of a sexual abuse allegation his step daughter made towards him he was arrested and bailed during this time someone else was arrested after this it was " no further action " and he came off bail. Obviously i was shocked finding out this info and i to many long conversation before i felt i could trust him around my daughter and we continued our relationship and we moved in together.
Then 3 months ago the ss came in to our lives with understandable concerns. They did their assessments and decided on child protection with a no unsupervised contact between them we argeed and followed this to the letter.
Then they told me i had to make a choice leave or they will start legal proceedings i left and had to sign a no contact saftey plan.
Ive done everything they have asked but they are still talking about legal proceedings .
I dont really know what questions i have i just dont understand what going on they wont tell me anything.
He has no conviction hes not on any register he has a clear dbs and the police nfa the investigation
Completely fed up
Any advice or suggestions welcome
Historical allagations
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PerfectlySafeDad
- Posts: 171
- Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am
Re: Historical allagations
My God, just unbelievable. The safeguarding tyranny in this country gets worse and worse with everything I read. From what you say, this man has done NOTHING WHATSOEVER WRONG, nothing that's proven at any rate, and he's under no offender conditions? What's more, he's already been living with you and your daughter for 4 years, with nothing untoward happening whatsoever? Yet the CS make the most dire threats to your (and your child's) human family rights 'just in case'?? Then they persist with their threats even though you do exactly as they ask???
I'm not a professional expert, only a guy who has been penalized on my family life out of all proportion to my offences, but I sincerely hope the advisors on here can give you clarity and hope.
It seems horrible to say (I truly hope your man is innocent), but please tell me there is more to this - otherwise I completely despair at what seems to me a profoundly cruel and totalitarian system.
I'm not a professional expert, only a guy who has been penalized on my family life out of all proportion to my offences, but I sincerely hope the advisors on here can give you clarity and hope.
It seems horrible to say (I truly hope your man is innocent), but please tell me there is more to this - otherwise I completely despair at what seems to me a profoundly cruel and totalitarian system.
Re: Historical allagations
Hes not on anything. His step daughter made the allegation then added his children in to it too, his children never said a word against (so i understand, alot in my head cant remember all details) This all happened 8-9 years ago and was investigated for 18 months then nfa and they are telling me im not allowed anything to do with him. We havent lived together for 4 year only moved in together this year.
They are telling me his risk is through the roof. This all happened in a different LA than we are in now. So they had to get files from them they did this 3 months after the section 47. They are now arranging a meeting with that LA and the police force that original investigated the allegations, why i have no idea they are telling me nothing and because he doesnt have PR hes now not allowed anything to do with it core meeting cp meeting nothing
They are telling me his risk is through the roof. This all happened in a different LA than we are in now. So they had to get files from them they did this 3 months after the section 47. They are now arranging a meeting with that LA and the police force that original investigated the allegations, why i have no idea they are telling me nothing and because he doesnt have PR hes now not allowed anything to do with it core meeting cp meeting nothing
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4230
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Historical allagations
Dear Fedup18
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
As your username suggests you are feeling fed up and distressed by the position you find yourself in at the moment.
You say that 3 months ago children’s services (the new name for social services) came into your lives. How and why did they become involved, was there a referral made or any kind of incident?
It appears from what you say that there were child protection concerns which led to children’s services carrying enquiries and concluding that you child is at risk of significant harm. As a result of this decision, an initial child protection conference was arranged and the outcome of that was for your daughter to be placed on a child protection plan under a specific category. Our advice sheet about Child protection procedures may help you to understand the process a bit more.
Your partner’s history is likely to be part of the reason that children’s services have gone down this route but there may be other concerns as well. He was arrested on an allegation of sexual abuse and his children subsequently removed. You say that the police took no further action against your partner. This action by the police does not mean that children’s services would not have concerns. Children’s services and the police are concerned about different things and the test in both cases are different. The police would want to have evidence that would lead to a successful prosecution, the test being ‘beyond reasonable doubt’. However, in civil cases the test is ‘on the balance of probability’ which means whether something is more likely to have happened than not. It may be therefore that no further action is not accepted as nothing happened.
As part of their enquiries children’s services would have looked into the history of your partner and it may be that there are other concerning issues for them? You do say that you have been told by your partner about the allegation made by his stepdaughter. How old was she at the time of the alleged incident. These are factors that may have had a bearing on children’s services considering him to be a risk and therefore they reached the decision to instigate child protection enquiries.
You say that at children’s services request you separated from your partner but despite doing all they have asked of you they are still talking about legal proceedings. When there is a child protection plan in place, if the parent does not do what is expected under the plan this could lead children’s services to issue pre-proceedings letter and have what is known as a Public Law Outline (PLO) meeting. The purpose of this meeting is to give the parent or person caring for the child an opportunity to do what is requested to prevent an application being made to the court. If a PLO meeting is arranged then the parent or person caring for the child would be entitled to have a solicitor attend that meeting with them.
Although your partner has no convictions and is not on the sex offenders’ register, it appears that there are serious concerns about his history. It may also be that children’s services are concerned that you do not recognise the risk and therefore would be unable to keep your daughter safe.
In your post that you are not being told anything but at the same time you are being told about legal proceedings. I think it is important that you ask the social worker and or the team manager to give you a clear explanation of what their concerns are now you are no longer with your partner. The reason they are thinking about court proceedings. If the matter goes to pre-proceedings then you will be given more information. Has anything happened, for example, have you been in touch with your partner or is there concern that you are not sticking to the safety plan.
There appears to be a child protection plan and this along with the core group meetings that you attend should give you an idea of what the concerns in respect of safeguarding issue for your child. Also, if you are not doing what you are asked under the child protection plan this could be a reason for them mentioning proceedings. Please read our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings
Should you wish to discuss your case with an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9/30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
As your username suggests you are feeling fed up and distressed by the position you find yourself in at the moment.
You say that 3 months ago children’s services (the new name for social services) came into your lives. How and why did they become involved, was there a referral made or any kind of incident?
It appears from what you say that there were child protection concerns which led to children’s services carrying enquiries and concluding that you child is at risk of significant harm. As a result of this decision, an initial child protection conference was arranged and the outcome of that was for your daughter to be placed on a child protection plan under a specific category. Our advice sheet about Child protection procedures may help you to understand the process a bit more.
Your partner’s history is likely to be part of the reason that children’s services have gone down this route but there may be other concerns as well. He was arrested on an allegation of sexual abuse and his children subsequently removed. You say that the police took no further action against your partner. This action by the police does not mean that children’s services would not have concerns. Children’s services and the police are concerned about different things and the test in both cases are different. The police would want to have evidence that would lead to a successful prosecution, the test being ‘beyond reasonable doubt’. However, in civil cases the test is ‘on the balance of probability’ which means whether something is more likely to have happened than not. It may be therefore that no further action is not accepted as nothing happened.
As part of their enquiries children’s services would have looked into the history of your partner and it may be that there are other concerning issues for them? You do say that you have been told by your partner about the allegation made by his stepdaughter. How old was she at the time of the alleged incident. These are factors that may have had a bearing on children’s services considering him to be a risk and therefore they reached the decision to instigate child protection enquiries.
You say that at children’s services request you separated from your partner but despite doing all they have asked of you they are still talking about legal proceedings. When there is a child protection plan in place, if the parent does not do what is expected under the plan this could lead children’s services to issue pre-proceedings letter and have what is known as a Public Law Outline (PLO) meeting. The purpose of this meeting is to give the parent or person caring for the child an opportunity to do what is requested to prevent an application being made to the court. If a PLO meeting is arranged then the parent or person caring for the child would be entitled to have a solicitor attend that meeting with them.
Although your partner has no convictions and is not on the sex offenders’ register, it appears that there are serious concerns about his history. It may also be that children’s services are concerned that you do not recognise the risk and therefore would be unable to keep your daughter safe.
In your post that you are not being told anything but at the same time you are being told about legal proceedings. I think it is important that you ask the social worker and or the team manager to give you a clear explanation of what their concerns are now you are no longer with your partner. The reason they are thinking about court proceedings. If the matter goes to pre-proceedings then you will be given more information. Has anything happened, for example, have you been in touch with your partner or is there concern that you are not sticking to the safety plan.
There appears to be a child protection plan and this along with the core group meetings that you attend should give you an idea of what the concerns in respect of safeguarding issue for your child. Also, if you are not doing what you are asked under the child protection plan this could be a reason for them mentioning proceedings. Please read our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings
Should you wish to discuss your case with an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9/30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
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