Isn't this a breach of mine, my son and my mother's human rights

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Isn't this a breach of mine, my son and my mother's human rights

Post by heartbroken80 » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:39 pm

Please can you help me. My son was in foster care, but he has been home since June under a supervision order.
The social worker is stating that my Mum can't be around my son for 1-2 years!
I'm shocked and upset.
My Mum loves her grandson and my son loves his nanny.
Her reasoning is that if my mum is around me, that I somehow I lose focus on my son. This is rubbish as I'm a different person now.
She is apparently going to get me something to sign saying that my mum can't be here.
Please give me some advice as how can she do this as I'm not the same person that I once was.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Isn't this a breach of mine, my son and my mother's human rights

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:26 pm

Dear heartbroken80

Thank you for posting again.

Your son is under a supervision order, which although it does not give children’s services parental responsibility does mean that they are there to offer advice, support and to monitor how things are working out after your son was returned to your care.

Looking back at your previous posts, I see that you mentioned that children’s services were concerned that your mother relied too heavily on you. Now the social worker is saying that you lose focus on your son when your mother is around you. You say that you have changed and you are not the same person you were before. The question is, I think, whether your mother has changed or is she still relying on you?

It seem drastic to say that your son cannot see his grandmother for 1 to 2 years. This does not take account of your son’s needs in respect of his extended family. I think it might be better for the social worker to work out a plan for contact that you can discuss with her so that your son is not totally cut off from his grandmother.

A supervision order normally lasts for 1 year but children’s services can apply to the court to extend it if they it to be necessary. If there are issues regarding your mother it might be best to try and resolve these. It may be that the social worker think that you son will be at nursery in a year or so and will not need you to be as hands on as he does now. Speak to the social worker and the team manager and ask for their concerns to be put in writing and the plan of action.
You have been through a long process of care proceedings to get your son back in your care so I am sure you will agree that the important thing now is to find a solution that works for your family and one that children’s service believe works for your son as well.

Is there any particular reason why your mother needs to rely so heavily on you does she have any particular health or other needs which could be addressed by her having other support? This is something you could discuss with her.

I understand that the situation is difficult but if there are concerns for your son then you should take these into account as you do not want to have children’s services say you are not putting his needs first.

It is important that you agree to the terms of any agreement before signing it which is why it is important to discuss this with the social worker. If there is an agreement and it is breached this could be an opening for further action to be taken by children’s services. For example, if your mother needed urgent help what would happen if agreement states you should not be seeing her at all?

Perhaps you could ask the solicitor who represented you in the care proceedings to give you some advice about the current situation.

Have a look at our A-Z of terms for an explanation of supervision order.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes


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