Child protection conference. Advice needed

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Thank you for your response Suzie.

I am no longer with the partner. He has 're offended in the past I am aware of all his convictions now. He has mental health issues and now I have taken a step back I can see that he has in fact groomed me to a certain extent. He had turned the tables on me totally. Has shown his true colours. And been violent towards me. When i have done nothing wrong. Also him being there to pick up the pieces made me more emotionally attached to him.
I was in too deep and couldn't see it.
I believe him to be a narcissistic personality also.

My job was only a few hours a week and was ending in a months time due to lack of funding. My employer is happy to keep my job open should I wish to return. I just needed a break and could not handle the shame and embarrassment. In the meantime I have another job lined up. Am just getting this meeting out of the way then I can concentrate on getting mine and my son's life back on track!
Just to add there is no way I will ever get back with this partner now. I have promised my children and myself. He will not be able to hurt us anymore.

Dear LD66

Thank you for you updating post.

I am pleased that you have been able to take a step back and look at your situation and now understand the true nature of your ex-partner and how it impacted on you and your son. Your have gained insight to the circumstances you find yourself in to the extent that you accept there was grooming by your ex-partner on you so perhaps it would be possible for him to have done the same to your son. Children's services will, I believe, be pleased that you say you have reached this point. They may be cautious in their response because sometimes people can say all the right things but do not always follow through.

It is possible that it could be seen as you wishing to stop child protection procedures continuing. It is possible that it could be seen as you wishing to stop child protection procedures continuing. Please read our advice sheet Child protection procedures

With time and positive engagement from you with children's services it is likely they will get to the point where they accept that you mean what you are saying about not being with your former partner anymore.

It is really good that you are now ready to move forward to rebuild your life with your son. I wish you the very best of luck as you go forward.

Best wishes

Suzie

[LD66]

I have just spoken to our social worker who has said it won't go to a CP plan now. As he has spoken with my x partner and myself. He is also aware that I am pressing charges for an assault on myself from the x partner. He is already to appear in court in January on another charge against myself also.
I am.also looking to get a restraining order on him also.
The social worker said these are all the right steps to protecting my son. I will have to do a course 're domestic violence.
The police were right all along he is a manipulative and nasty man. It has taken me a while to wake up and smell the coffee.
Just to add to anyone else who reads this and is in a similar situation. If everything seems stacked against you it's probably because every one else is right in what they are saying. Listen to the professionals. Be strong and protect yourself. We all deserve so much better.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LD66

Thank you for posting again
.
I am very pleased that you have come to the point where you can understand the concerns which children’s services had regarding your former partner and safeguarding yourself.

It is very helpful for other posters on this forum to have the benefit of your experience dealing with children’s services and other professionals that it is not the case the professionals are always being heavy handed when seeking to safeguard children. They are working from experience. However, that is not to say that sometimes things might work out other than the way a parent wishes, but it does helps if the parent concerned can take a step back as you have done.

PerfectlySafeDad was, despite his views expressed on this forum about children’s services in his particular case, able to recognise from what you posted and I am quoting him “I'm developing some faith that CS are capable of discerning a difference between the vast spectrum of men blacklisted as offenders, and make sensible and humane judgements accordingly.”

I am pleased that you are also taking action to protect yourself and intend to attend a domestic violence course. This will help you and give you the tools to recognise when a situation is abusive in a relationship.

Working with children’s services and other professionals will often lead to the desired outcome and in your case your son is unlikely to be on a child protection plan.

Hopefully things will continue to go well for you and your son.

Best wishes

Suzie