Police Investigation and Child Services Hell

[Seadog01274]

Also how severe are the mistakes on the report? I went through mine with a highlighter, I was very angry at the time and I just wanted rip the thing up! I think the way they word things is awful.
I was asked if I planned on having children with my husband. As we only got married 2 weeks before his all happened I said yes of course our plan was to wait until after this Christmas then try for a baby. My report said I plan on having a child with marc after Christmas. Not even taking into account the situation we are now in! Now we won’t be trying for a baby after Christmas. So many things they word very black and white. They got the date of our wedding wrong and I burst into tears. But now we are preparing for our second conference on Tuesday all those things I highlighted I feel they don’t even matter. They can write what they want, it isn’t looked at again after conference. I decided to just let it be and focus on making sure the next report is overflowing with positives! It wasn’t helping me niggling at all those little mistakes that they’ve just abbreviated down xxx

[Doandson]

Hello again,

I will add this - when something has been printed and circulated. It is already on the system. If for example you did write a letter correcting the error and you were told that a note would be added to the system. If at a later date for whatever reason someone pulled the info, the note would not be printed.

I would seek legal advice. Because they could still use what they have written in their favour - it is not a fact. Once it goes from report to report it will become a fact.

If I were you I would want written clarification from CS on how they plan to rectify this.

Hi,

I have taken advice it was the first thing we did as I come from a legal background. I have been told that the latter should be annexed to the report and I know the chances of them leaving it off BUT I have it and I would have the email sending it and the signed for confirmation from the post office. I'm just looking at it from a worst case perspective as if they tried to take my son away because I hadn't kicked my husband out just because they have misunderstood. Better to correct that now then if or when they tried to do it.

[DesperateDad]

I have written so many detailed letters to them, picking out faults in what they say and do; they’re misleading in their phrases, ambiguous, censor anything that strengthens our case, exaggerate anything that weakens it, and are factually incorrect on so many levels. They take what we say, do, write out of context and use it to strengthen their own arguments. I’m still fighting them and won’t give up because I can’t allow lies to have a lifelong negative impact on my family, but they’ve not even followed the official complaints procedure with any honesty or integrity. They simply want us to shut up, sit back, allow them to shred our family to pieces and then feel satisfied with themselves.
What I will say is that every written communication you give them, introduce it with;
“Given previous discrepancies in the way in which we feel previous communications have been dealt with, please ensure that this <message/email/document> is kept in tact, no phrases are used out of full context and that it remains on file with the rest of the <assessments/reports etc>”
I’ve also recorded every meeting/phonecall -even when they’ve told me I couldn’t. It has come in useful when they’ve lied inmeetings and I’ve challenged them, they’ve denied it and I’ve said I have it recorded. The best they can do (with a slight look of horror on their faces) is say “you aren’t allowed to record! You can’t use the recording”...to which I respond “possibly, but the fact still remains that the lie you just told IS recorded, so do you still want to make that false claim?” They usually go quiet, and a manager then claims the social worker may have simply been ‘confused’ or overwhelmed in the moment, not intentionally lying...
I wish you all luck...I wish we could all offer each other greater support:-(

[Doandson]

It is literally just one point I want to clarify screw the rest of it as there is not a bad word to be said of my son or me or even the care provided by my husband. All reports on husband are positive.

It literally is "x said husband would leave the home if more images were found" I did NOT say this. I said I would consider whatever evidence came up, discuss with CS and Police make a decision from there. I don't want them to say after the forensic investigation that I'm a risk as they told me more images were found and this report said I would kick him out and then haven't. That's it . My son comes first above all else but part of ensuring his wellbeing is having a close family unit with love and support. I will give him that for as long as I can until I assess or am provided with evidence to contrary.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello all,

I need some advice. Will try to bullet point this for ease and the fact I break down every time I write something so I need to be clinical.

1. In June 18 I had the police turn up and raid the house. Turned out husband had been reported for possession of 1 CAT A image. Everything taken from our home and no way neighbours didn't see police dog who sniffs out electrics.
2. Husband dropped home hours later and I was told CS would be in touch to give advice.
3. Not until 4 days later did CD turn up on my son's 2nd birthday(claiming they had no idea despite an MDT crisis meeting that day). Had to sign an agreement saying husband to spend no time with son on his own, no changing nappies or bathing and if I'm unwell then MIL must be contacted. Agreed to all and told husband could stay. Told CS would be back in 1 wk for meeting to do full assessment. Never happened and despite numerous texts to SW and calls to her boss, no contact rec'd.
4. Then October comes and I get 4 minute call from SW saying police triage found more images CAT A B C. Told I need to assess my relationship BUT CS closing case until outcome of police investigation (so confused, so being told he could pose a risk, that I have to abide by agreement still but case closed for however long police take).
5. This Saturday I get an assessment saying they are perfectly happy with my son. I'm a protective parent who puts son first and that he is a happy healthy little boy. However the whole thing is wrong in that it stated I had said I would get husband to leave immediately if more images found. That's not true. I said I would await outcome of police investigations and take on board advice and recommendations. I intend to write short letter stating that they were incorrect so its on record.

I know my H has done has done wrong. He has been fully honest with me and told me everything. It started with a porn addiction and the lines blurred. He also didn't understand that normal Google search free porn could be illegal.

To be clear my son is my first priority and always will be. I want to stay a family and would be happy to abide by this agreement even if it takes 5 or 10 years.

He intends to plead guilty and is getting help with StopItNow etc. We want to stay a family and so long as circumstance don't change I feel this is in the best interests of my son and me. He has done wrong and I don't condone this but I can understand where things have gone wrong and I genuinely don't believe he poses a risk to children.

Is there any chance that we can stay a family given that he has not been told he has to leave and they have found more images? If he pleads guilty could a judge order him to leave the home?

If it's best he leave he will be gone but due to many factors I truly believes he deserves a second chance and the opportunity to make it right.

I'm worried about what CS could do if he pleads guilty and what the result of being on the SOR could mean. Any help would stop me feeling overwhelmed and as if I cannot cope. I'm having a tough time since the assessment came and in a dark place with all the what ifs. I love my husband but I love my son more and he is my world. Please help.

Dear Doandson

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

Children’s services has become involved with your family following the police becoming involved because of your husband downloading indecent images which you say are categories A-C. You are finding children’s services involvement worrying especially in respect of what can happen to you as a family and your husband remaining in the home.

The social worker should, I think, have been giving you more information regarding the proposed assessment. It appears a decision may have been made to hold off doing the assessment until they heard further from the police. It would have been good practice for the social worker to keep informed as you will see from our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services the social worker should keep family informed and be open and transparent.

At present the decision is that you are able to protect your son and there is an agreement in place regarding your son’s interaction with his son.

You say you received an assessment on Saturday but did not say what this involved. Do you know the name of the assessment that was carried out? Was this a risk assessment? You are unhappy with the content of the assessment and the comment attributed to you that you would leave your husband if additional images were found. This is not, you say, a true reflection of the discussion you had with the social worker. I suggest you have a conversation with the social worker or ask for a meeting with the social worker and her team manager. I suggest you say to them that you are committed to working with children’s services to safeguard your son but want correct information to be recorded. This can then be followed up with a letter from children’s services confirming the discussion and what was agreed.

If you are not able to meet with the team manager, then you can write a letter explaining that what is recorded is not accurate as ask for it to be changed or for the correct version of what was said to be attached to the assessment report.

Your husband has, you say, been completely honest with you and you wish to continue being with him as a family. It is really good that he is remorseful and not in denial about what has happened or tried to minimise his actions. He is also engaging with services to address his behaviour. It is important that you recognise the concerns that children’s services have and continue to put your son’s needs first.

At the moment your husband remains in the family home and whether or not this continues will depend on what risk he is deemed to pose to your son. He intends to plead guilty and will be on the sex offender’s register. The amount of time will be stated at his sentencing. There may also be certain things that your husband is prohibited from doing under a sexual harm prevention order (SHPO)

Children’s services can work with you both for you to be able to continue together as a family and will carry out a risk assessment of your husband to ascertain the level of risk they consider he poses. This is likely to be long and difficult process. I am not able to say whether your husband will leave the family home and this will depend on how things progress. If you do want to be together you will have to show children’s services a commitment to keeping your child safe.

It might be helpful for you to speak with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900. Parents Protect may also be a helpful website for you.

The only thing you can do now is to wait for the outcome of the police investigation whilst continuing to follow the agreement with children's services for safeguarding your son.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, do telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes

Suzie

[DesperateDad]

We are currently in Chikd Protection proceedings - we had an initial conference and recently had the follow-up conference after 3 months. Both were farcical and the decision was taken to remain on CP for a further 6months.
After the core fam group meeting yesterday (where only myself, the mother and the social worker attended (as she sent no reminder to health worker, GP or nursery (who therefore didn’t attend), I asked her what she envisioned the next stages being.
She loosely mentioned ChildinNeed (although to be honest her tone made that sound unlikely) and went on to suggest a possibility of Private Law pending the outcome report of a risk assessment I undertook earlier in the week, ironically suggesting I might like that given the fact I keep arguing the inaccuracies of what social services write, say and do.
What is private law in this situation?!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear DesperateDad

I have already responded to this post as you also posted a different thread.

Best wishes

Suzie