Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

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Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

Post by LD66 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 4:39 pm

My partner of a few months is an rso.
I have a 15 year old son.
Children's services have been out today to carry out an assessment.
They were telling me I'm putting my son at risk. Even though he's never alone with partner and were basically telling me to end the relationship with my partner.
What happens now on their part?
I thought children's services worked with and to help families but they made me feel rubbish!
Any advice welcome
xxx x
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Thu Oct 04, 2018 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: To prevent a breach of confidentiality

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Re: Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

Post by PerfectlySafeDad » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:13 pm

Unbelievable. When I think I've heard it all about the savagery of social services on the topic of 'sex offenders' (that wildly varied group lumped, labelled and demonized as one for all nature of 'risk') something yet more absurd and draconian crops up. I'm genuinely astounded, actually. This is an educated, civilized country? Yet they think a 15yo boy is in peril just because an RSO is on the scene, and a law-abiding and perfectly intelligent parent overseeing the situation. It's not as if we're talking a 5 year old child. Are his offences even anything to do with boys or committed in contact with anyone whatsoever? Even if so, they have no ethical right to write off a relationship based on dogma and blanket prejudice. Building of successful relationships and family life is a powerful factor in rehabilitation and mental health. The social services cowardly and harassing stance is destructive to both those concepts of an advanced society.
I wish you all the best. Don't believe a word they say - you're not a bad mum - but you should strike a balance outwardly between acknowledging their concerns whilst insisting you want to give your man a chance to be in your family.
In other words, 'jump through their hoops' and just hope they will negotiate and play fair with the life you want to build, and give YOU some credit as an adult with judgement. I mean, for God's sake, your son will be 18 in 3 years, and 16 is practically a man.
It's just unbelievable in its draconianism and miserable caution.

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Re: Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 8:06 am

CS expect you to divulge every intricate detail of your life and relationship - please expect to have your viewpoint taken out of context and twisted to suit their objective. Your son is 15yo and has the ability to make his own informed decisions. I would advise you to stand your ground - but choose your battles wisely as CS wear you down.

Explain in writing that you acknowledge their concern and you would wish to work alongside them if need be. Ask them what their specific concerns are? At the end of the letter state - you look forward to receiving their prompt written response. Thus chucking the ball back in their court...

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Re: Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

Post by LD66 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:42 pm

Thank you so so much for your replies. They made me cry. My son is almost 16. Yes my partner has messed up. But he needs help not punishment. As many do but social services dismiss that out of hand. Her words being he hasn't sought rehabilitation has he though? I said it's something I plan on doing if our relationship is to continue.
Thanks again

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Partner rso children's services assessment. What happens now

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:55 pm

Dear LD66

Welcome to the Parents Discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry that we have not been able to respond to you before now. You have had some comments and suggestions from other parents already.

I would just like to add that children’s services have become involved to ensure that your son is safeguarded around your partner who has been convicted or cautioned for a sexual offence and as such has notification requirements. Here is a link to information about the sexual offenders register. They do want to work with you to make sure that your son is safe. They are looking to you to be a protective parent. Your son although a young person is still a child and could still be at risk in certain situations. You explain that there are some safeguards in place already children’s services want to assess the situation further.

You may find information on our website about assessments and family support advice sheet helpful as they explains in more detail about assessments.

Miserylovescompany2 has offered constructive advice about asking for clarification and showing your willingness to work with children’s services. Their concern is for your son rather than for your partner. He can seek information about programmes that may benefit him from the Lucy Faithfull Foundation. There is also a Parents Protect website which you may find useful.

Do ask the social worker to keep you informed and to discuss any issues with you as they arise.

If you have any further queries as the assessment proceeds you are welcome to post again or to call our Freephone advice helpline on 0808 8010366 Mon-Fri 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

With best wishes


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