Child social worker wants to remove my child

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Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am

Child social worker wants to remove my child

Post by Me345 » Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:14 pm

I write to you with deep sorrow and I don't know what more to do and I do not have the means to get a lawyer. I have written before about all that had happened and how I have been adviced by my SS to do things I really didn't want to do but I had to go along because everyone says I shouldn't argue with her. I am fed up with acting on lies and I want to move on, so I told my SS I want to reconcile with my husband. She got offended dat I thought about reconciling and told me we will see in court that she isn't going to advice me on anything or any courses for I and my husband to do. She said my child is at risk if I return even after I had told her that most of the things I said when I was removed from my home were lies because I was angry with my husband and I wanted him to feel the way I have felt. But haven't gone for marriage counseling I realized I had not taken the right step because this happens in almost all marriages. That was why I thought of reconcling now my SS is bringing all sorts of lies to see that baby is taken away from me and I don't have any choice of reconcling. I have asked for an appointment to speak with her team manager but am scared she might have poisoned his heart with lies about me. Am stuck, I feel helpless. I need someone to help me please

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Child social worker wants to remove my child

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Sep 05, 2018 2:45 pm

Dear Me345,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum.
I am sorry to hear about the ongoing involvement of children services.
I had a look back at your previous posts and I can see that children services are involved because they were worried that you had suffered domestic violence and that as a consequence your baby might be harmed. Is this still their main concern? Or are there new worries?

You want to reconcile with your husband but the social worker is saying that it is still not safe to do so. She is saying you need to choose. Either your baby or your husband. She is saying it is not safe for your baby if you and your husband reconcile. Do you understand why?

If you do go back to your husband at this stage, she says children services will go to court for an order to remove baby from you.

It is really important that you take seriously what the social worker says and do not reconcile without first getting legal advice.

You should seek urgent advice from a solicitor who specialises in children law. Look at the Law society- find a solicitor.

Meeting with Team Manager.

You have made an appointment to discuss the way forward with the team manager. This is a very good idea. Before the meeting you could make a list of what you want to discuss.
The team manager’s job is to manage the social worker but he will also be involved in all the important decisions that are made about your baby.
He will be involved in any decision about going to court.
He will have checked through the social workers assessment of your family. Have you seen a copy of this or of any other written report to do with your baby?
Make sure you read through the assessment before the meeting. It should say why children services are concerned but also what support they have offered you. Are there factual errors in the report? If so, point them out.

You say that when children services first became involved, you lied about your husband’s violent behaviour-you exaggerated to get him in trouble. Children’s services will have to try and decide what is true. At the time when you told how violent your husband had been or now when you have changed your statement.
But research about domestic violence shows that it is common for a survivor to minimize the violence they suffered. The social worker may be inclined to take the original statement you gave as the truth. So may assume that your husband is as dangerous as you originally said. Even so, in your first post, you admitted that your husband hit you. This in itself is domestic violence and your baby would be in danger if it happened again.
I am very surprised that the social worker is refusing to advise you about domestic violence support that is available. Any court would want to know what support had been offered to you and whether you have taken up the offer. You should ask the team manager why you are not getting any support. It is accepted that those who suffer domestic violence find it very difficult to leave an abuser without any support.
I wonder whether dad ever got the support for his behaviour. If not, it is likely he will be seen as dangerous to your baby. Ask the social worker do they still see him as dangerous? If so why? What support has been offered to him?

You need to take seriously the statement that children services will go to court to remove your baby, if you reconcile with dad.
Ask that she sets out in writing why they are concerned and what they will do.

Before court proceedings
Unless it is an emergency, children services should follow the pre- proceedings protocol which means that you will be entitled to legal advice and for a solicitor to attend a meeting with you and your social worker before court proceedings are issued. They should also send you a letter saying what they are concerned about and what you need to do as mum to protect your baby and so stop court proceedings.
Please see page 7 of our advice sheet about care proceedings linked below.
You should also be offered other support such as a family group conference. A family group conference is a meeting with people you invite from your family and friend network and from dads network to see if there is any support to help keep your baby safe and living with you.

A Family Group Conference can also be used to find people (relatives and friends) who could care for your baby, if baby was removed from you.
Here is information about Family Group Conferences .
Here is information about Court (care) proceedings .

I hope this helps but if you need further advice please post again or you could call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am

Re: Child social worker wants to remove my child

Post by Me345 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:42 am

Thank you for your feedback. I had the meeting with the team manager with my social worker and support workers present. My social worker had convinced the manager that I was a lair but with my support workers there as witnesses so many issues she is blaming me for was sorted out. Though I know she wasn't happy, but her manager has offered to work with me and my husband closely by offering us courses to do.
And he was going to look into swapping my social worker for another one. They told me there would be a child in need conference.
I am looking forward to it. Though am abit scared because I don't know what to expect from the conference .

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