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please help

Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:23 pm
by misty blue
Hi members I'm hoping you can give me some advice.
(back ground )
I have been with my partner for 14 years. we have a six year old son. My partner was charged and sentenced to 3 years. For something that happened almost 20 years ago. ( with a child. my partner still claims his innocence and there was no proof at the trail) his will be able to be sealed next year on tag. Up to now child services have not been involved. I have a form to fill out to apply for him to have contact with our son. It says they will contact child services.
I have read a few post and reply on here and understand that it is going to be a long and slow to get anywhere with them. I also understand that our son will be placed on child protection plan. I will work honest and open with child services and hope to get our life's back. From what I have read I am worried child services will do all they can to stop this happening. I am also worried they will not let me stay in touch with my partner while they do their assessment. ( he is struggling to deal with what has happened and worried losing contact will be to much for him) What are the chances he will be able to return home after his release? As child services are not involved yet I'm worried about when they do. I understand they have the child best interest but so do I? I also read child services will want to tell my six year old what my partner is in side for? can someone please try make me feel better about child services?
thank you for reading.

Re: please help

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 3:05 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Dear misty blue

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

You are concerned about how children’s services will respond to the current situation with your family. Your partner was charged with a historical sexual offence and convicted with a sentence of 3 years.

I think one of the main difficulties that children’s services may have about any possible risk he poses to your son is the fact that despite his conviction your partner does not accept what happened and continues to protest his innocence. You say there was no evidence at the trial but, despite what you say, he was convicted and sentenced.

Children’s services concern will be your ability to protect our child and manage any identified risk.

It is surprising the children’s services have not been involved already. The reason I say this is because the police will usually inform children’s services when they are investigating sexual offences and there is a child in the family. In any event, as you have learned, in requesting contact for your son and his father a referral will be made to children’s services because of safeguarding concerns. Please read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains what happens when children’s services receives a referral.

The fact that it is your intention to work openly and honestly with children’s services is really good as this is what they would expect. Whether or not your partner will be able to be with you and your son will be dependent on how willing he will be work with children’s services. Both you and your partner can ask for a risk assessment to be carried out to find out what level of risk he is considered to pose to your child. As you have read, and accept, it will be long process for you and your partner but it is not impossible for you to work with children’s services to get the best outcome for your family.

Children’s services have a safeguarding role and it is their legal duty to ensure that children are brought up in a safe environment. When they receive a referral they have to act on it and how things progress will depend, in many cases, on how well the family works with them.
You may find it helpful to read this advice sheet Child protection procedures. Whilst your partner is in prison children’s services may not consider that there is a safeguarding problem as he is not in the home. However, if his release means him returning home that may be when they will consider whether child protection or child in need plans may be necessary.

My advice is that once children’s services are involved you should do your best to engage positively with them.

In the meantime, you might want to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation who advises perpetrators and other family members where sexual offences are involved. You could also contact NACRO which is an organisation that provides support and advice for prisoners and their family.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes


Re: please help

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 5:11 pm
by misty blue
Thank you for replying.